To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

[user1498221998]

My friend and I were both 16 stone this time 2 years ago. We both went on a diet and two years ,later I am now 10 stone and a size 10. She is still 16 stone and a size 18.

It's her wedding next Saturday and I showed my intended outfit to my Mum who said that while it looked beautiful I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging as almost everyone there hasn't seen me for over a year, doesn't know about my weight loss and I will attract too much attention away from the bride with my huge weight loss.

Do you think my Mum is right?

My friend will look beautiful anyway, so I don't see why I should have to deliberately look plain for her wedding!

My mum says it's 'rubbing it in' because she desperately wanted to be slim for her wedding. But that is not my fault.

Loves
That's awful

Am possibly over-invested in this thread, but am dying to see the dress.

I think in a wedding, it's the job of the guests to dress up and look as nice as they can - but appropriately. So obviously don't wear white or cream, and don't wear anything that is incredibly sexy or more appropriate for a nightclub.

But figure-hugging in and of itself is fine. I imagine if you've gone from 16 stone to 10 stone, being able to wear nice clothes that show off your figure is a particular pleasure.

Yeah fuck it OP, do what you want. You're what matters most here, she just needs to get over the fact that you've accidentally on purpose used her wedding to launch the new you.

Crack on.

(Sorry too much Love Island...)

wombling nice little passive-aggressive touch! "You seem upset." Lol. I get pissed off when people reinforced bullshit rules about how women are allowed to act/look. It's totally exasperating that other women won't re-examine their own views. So, yes, I'm annoyed about it. I also use hyperbole to make my points though. Perhaps that's confusing you?

theluminaries No one. Has. Said. It's. A. Bodycon. Dress.

Can at least one of the people who thinks OP is being unreasonable please explain why it's ok that women have to sift through this bullshit but men don't? Everyone has conveniently ignored that question.

And please don't just parrot the stuff about "oh it's her attitude we don't like." As we all know, her attitude will not change the look of the dress.

My best friend and I are physically very different. On her wedding most of her bridesmaids incl. me were petite in the fitted dresses she chose because that's who she is friends with and if anyone insulted my friend for her size we would all want to take them out . I assume that OP would have her friends back best interests to heart so doesn't need to wear a sack to appease anyone.

And FWIW, this thread has never been about what the bride thinks about her friends weight loss. The OP never said.

It's 100% about the small things we do to be sensitive to our nearest and dearest, regardless of whether we think it's fair or right. I agree it's a trifling matter but hey that's MN for you.

I'm searching for the post where anyone said she should where a sack. Can someone help me out with that?

Is this the one?? www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjVmrj6iuDUAhXHJsAKHSYLCEwQjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.lyst.co.uk%2Fclothing%2Fwarehouse-panel-lace-dress-dark-red-1%2F&psig=AFQjCNFFA0khu-R_HAXglaQY56lSuSxe0g&ust=1498723688205556

you've accidentally on purpose used her wedding to launch the new you

Wearing a dress that fits your new shape is not launching a new you. Unless... new dress= new woman. And people wonder why I've called sexist bullshit on this one!

Merchant I agree, men don't get labelled due to clothing and 'suspected' behaviour in the same way that women do. A man wouldn't think twice about wearing a suit that fits as it 'may upset a friend in a plus size suit' 😂

londonista yeah, and I'm searching for the one where OP said she wanted to make an entrance, upstage the bride and launch a new version of herself.

Merchant, I agree for lots of women a lot of self worth tied up unfairly in body image shit, but IME men have their own shit to deal with as well.

My husband is organising a stag and is struggling with the request for a stripper. He's being made to feel like a "nancy" for suggesting it's a bit passé and actually not something the groom would be into anyway.

There is much work to be done on both sides IMO.

Merchant let me help you ... the first one. Where she says she will see a lot of people will see her weight loss for the first time.

HTH

Londonista if OP can't wear a regular wedding guest dress that will show her figure, what alternative is there?

Perhaps there are some wedding attire police with tape measures to judge how many extra inches of material OPs outfit should have to be acceptable?

Lana without seeing the dress we cannot judge. The OP won't show us which is a bit suss in itself, no?

I know it's a lot to expect you to have read the whole thread but as someone who has, the entire point is they've been on a weight loss journey together, and it's been suggested to OP by her mum that the wedding of the friend who didn't succeed on that journey is not the time to debut a daring new look that showcases your new figure to people you've not seen in a while.

You're welcome

MerchantofVenice

Was starting to wonder wtf is happening on this thread - and then you started posting some common sense to counter all the total bullshit being spouted.

OP - if you are even reading this now... WEAR THE DRESS. YOU like it. YOU feel good it it. Presumably the bride will FEEL GOOD IN HERS TOO. And if she doesn't, that won't be changed by you also not feeling good in what you are wearing.

Maybe I'm too laid back as one of my cousins attended my wedding in a bright red crop top with tattoos visible. I was just happy to see her.

Londonista the OP and her friend are not one and the same people. They ultimately follow their own journeys.

Your argument against me is hostile and I feel you are a more judgmental person than me.

londonista yes, she said lots of people will see her weight loss for the first time. She didn't say she was going to 'launch a new me' - you made that bit up.

Loving the totally irrelevant whatabouttery!! Yes, men have different bullshit problems to deal with. I agree. Wtf has that got to do with this??

I'm starting to think the problem is actually weddings in general... they make people fucking crazy!

Merchant do you mind if I ask a bit about you? You're quite a defensive person. What's your stake in all this?

And I'm not meaning that as an attack.

My stake is I used to be very fat and now I'm not. You're turn.

Your

(Cos sp is what matters here..!)

Fucking hell. Nasty, nasty comments on here. Anyone who is unhappily overweight will know that shopping for wedding outfits isn't a pleasant experience. This is maybe the first time the OP is feeling good about how she looks in a posh dress - and actually EVERYONE TRIES TO LOOK NICE AT WEDDINGS.
OP, there will be many slim women at this wedding and you are among them. Wear the dress, it sounds perfect, and feel great as you celebrate with your friend. You are more than your dress size FFS, and if your friend only sees your weight loss then she's not much of a friend.

Actually I think I do mind londonista. You have no right at all to say I'm 'quite a defensive person'. By the same token, I could say you're quite a judgemental person. How's that?

I think you need to look at the issues instead of attacking posters who disagree with you.