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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that my mum doesn't want to be called Gran, Granny, Grandma, Nan.....

132 replies

sar123 · 22/03/2007 09:28

..... or anything else vaguely grannyish sounding? My dad is happy with grandad. Just can't help feeling that it's a bit selfish of her. After all she IS a grandparent, no getting away from that! Ok she's young in comparison to many of my friends mothers but all the same....Should I insist? Or seek a suitable alternative?
And anyway, what alternatives are there to the obvious? What do your dc's call their grandparents?

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 22/03/2007 09:30

DD has a Granny & Grandad and Granny & Poppa.

My sister is 40 and is Nan to her daughter's son - makes me laugh. . I'm a first time mum and 33 and my sister is only seven years older than me and a grandparent!

Twiglett · 22/03/2007 09:31

yes you are being totally unreasonable

it is her decision

how can you insist?

anyway your child will develop his own words for them

my kids call my parents Gangy and Bobby and DH's mum Nana Ireland, I know of children who call their grandmother Mar-Mar

bozza · 22/03/2007 09:31

Mine call their grandparents and greatgrandparents (down to only one now ) by Grandma/Grandad followed by their Christian name - as you would with an Auntie?Uncle. Would your Mum accept that as a compromise? Just how young is she?

LucyJones · 22/03/2007 09:31

what does she want to be called?

twentypence · 22/03/2007 09:32

My mum had Granny but put her Initial after it.

My dad went for the slang for an FBI agent.

bozza · 22/03/2007 09:33

I think it will confuse the children actually and if your Dad is being called Grandad and your Mum is being called Jean (or whatever) so the children refer to them as "Grandad and Jean" it will make your Mum sound like your Dad's floosie. Would this arguement work?

CODalmighty · 22/03/2007 09:34

she is VAIN

LieselVentouse · 22/03/2007 09:34

My mum wanted to be called Gran and insisted upon it however she is getting a knee replacement in the summer so DD now calls her "Nana new knees" and she hates it.

CadburyCremeSquonk · 22/03/2007 09:36

Only read the op, so forgive me if I'm giving conflicting/repeating advice.

My mum decided when I was pg with dd1 that she was not going to be called Gran, Grandma, anything remotely grannyish. We all went along with her and tried (we really did try)

Dd1 now 13, four other grandchildren and they ALL call her Grandma. Don't even know how it happened.

Humour her. Tell her she doesn't have to be called anything she doesn't want. It'll probably happen anyway.

Original poster
sar123 · 22/03/2007 09:37

Lucyjones she hasn't made any suggestions just made it very clear she disapproves of anything grannyish!!

Bozza she is 58 and I am 39 so she is quite a bit younger than many of my friends mothers.

OP posts:
TinyGang · 22/03/2007 09:38

I would find all this rather strange too. What's the problem with being a grandma/nana or whatever - that's what she'll be.

You could always introduce her to the baby as Mrs Jones (whatever her name is).

zippitippitoes · 22/03/2007 09:39

I think she is being a bit silly and snesitive...

I think it is both a bit of a laugh..call dp grandad although strictly speaking he isn't but as he was 36 it was good fun

but i think being called grandma is lovely and sweet

don't particularly nana or nan though as i am a snob!

so if you are the grandma you get to choose the name

zippitippitoes · 22/03/2007 09:41

both my mum and exhs mum wanted to be called gandma so they were but they had the place they lived attached to it so in grandma in halesowen and grandma in swansea (not those places though!)

bozza · 22/03/2007 09:43

58 - I thought she was going to be more like your age! Yes she will be younger than your friend's mothers - but probably not, on the whole, younger than your DC's friend's, grandmothers. My Mum (who is known as Grandma K....) is 57, she has 3 grandchildren aged 6, 2 and 2 and another due in May.

bozza · 22/03/2007 09:44

rogue comma in there I think.

shouldbedoingsomethingelse · 22/03/2007 09:45

One of my DC's grandfathers gets called "grumpy granpy" and the other was "GaGa" grandmothers are call "gramdma" and "Nannie"(or witch, when she is being a pain LOL )

IdreamofClooney · 22/03/2007 09:46

Mu Mum insisted on being referred to as "Mee Mee" which is apparently French for Grandma.

Given that the closest I have been to being french is working as an au pair in Paris 10 years ago I feel this is ridiculous so I laughed.

She then started to refer to herself as "Grandmama" tee hee

Also ridiculous as we are not posh enough

I refer to her as nutty granny to DS - am sure he will come up with his own name for her (hopefully not nutty granny as I will have a bit of explaining to do

Children will chose their own name for their "grannies" which is lovely so prehaps just let nature take its course

lucy5 · 22/03/2007 09:50

My mum didn't want to be granny etc as she is young. So we cma e up with our own name. We used to call my gran Omi [german/dutch for Grandma] So we call my mum Mimi and my Dad is called Pa.

finknottle · 22/03/2007 09:51

No, not unreasonable
When DS1 was learning to talk MIL insisted he should call her "Grandmother" which sounds even worse in German (Grossmutter). It was so daft and Red Riding Hood I had a hard time not laughing in her face. Turned out she was worried about us all just calling her "Oma" (Granny/Gran) instead of her real name, meaning she'd be relegated to the old woman in the corner status when she wasn't ready for it. She's over 70 and still has her hair dyed bright orange ("Look, no grey! How young am I?")
I assured her I'd no intention of addressing her as Grandma as she's not mine - and she got over herself. For once. Of course DH calls her "Oma" just to wind her up

IdrisTheDragon · 22/03/2007 09:52

Twiglett, my granny was Gangy .

Original poster
sar123 · 22/03/2007 09:52

I agree Bozza, surely she is not young enough to object to being referred to as Granny or similar? My dd is only 8 months old BTW but we wanted something to start referring to my mum by so that she gets to know who she is. Don't see her v. often as she doesn't live nearby and she has a fulltime job. But am heartened by all the posters who have found their own names over time!

OP posts:
tortoiseSHELL · 22/03/2007 09:52

lol at nana newknees!

Original poster
sar123 · 22/03/2007 09:54

IdreamofClooney my mum has also made passing reference to the use of continental european words for grandmother but I think that would be totally pretentious as we have absolutely no excuse whatsoever for using anything other than English!!!!!! I've never lived abroad neither has my mum.

OP posts:
bozza · 22/03/2007 09:54

Hopefully you will come to some sort of a compromise over time. My MIL wanted to be called Granny but it never stuck and she is quite happy with what she is now. And she was only 49 when presented with her first grandson. They don't live locally but my children ring them sometimes - and my 2yo will say "I want to ring Grandma M...".

nailpolish · 22/03/2007 09:54

my mum is delighted that when dds were v small they couldnt pronounce 'grandma' - it came out "Glamma"