Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that my mum doesn't want to be called Gran, Granny, Grandma, Nan.....

132 replies

sar123 · 22/03/2007 09:28

..... or anything else vaguely grannyish sounding? My dad is happy with grandad. Just can't help feeling that it's a bit selfish of her. After all she IS a grandparent, no getting away from that! Ok she's young in comparison to many of my friends mothers but all the same....Should I insist? Or seek a suitable alternative?
And anyway, what alternatives are there to the obvious? What do your dc's call their grandparents?

OP posts:
kiwinat · 22/03/2007 09:55

My mum thinks Nanna sounds old so wants to be called KiwiGran! She is vain though. My Dad is happy with Grandpa George. It sounds really cute hearing the nieces/nephew using it. I think I'll let the LO choose and she'll just have to lump it.

powder28 · 22/03/2007 09:56

The other day my mum was in town with my son in his pushchair. A big issue seller said to her 'if i can guess your name will you buy my last big issue?'
My mum said 'ok'
He replied 'nan'
Dont think youre unreasonable by the way

piglit · 22/03/2007 09:57

She'll probably be happy with whatever your dc end up calling her. My ds1 calls my parents Nonny and Poppy and I suspect it'll stick for good.

dejags · 22/03/2007 10:00

don't fuss about it. just don't say anything to your DC.

Let your mother and your DC come to some sort of mutual agreement on what she is to be called.

Having said that my Dad tried to insist on being called Oupa (the Afrikaans word for Grandad) - given that he is English born and bred and cannot speak a word of Afrikaans I found this particularly poncey and never gave it life. He is now and always has been Grandad (well that's when we are on speaking terms).

concernedaboutmysister · 22/03/2007 10:01

My mum's called Granny Xxxxx

Great Granny is called Granny Xxxxx

MIL wanted to be called Nanny, but is now called Granny also.

Both Grandads are Granda, followed by their own name.

MamaD · 22/03/2007 10:02

We have Nana Wales with Daida and Nana Knitting with Grampy as both wanted Nana over Granny, Grandma etc. In Wales it's normally Nine and Daida.

My ex DH had a Pam-Pam and Poogie (!)

My SIL decided she was to young to be a Nana or Granny when my neice gave birth (she was only 34) so became 'Lady' (which I find V strange as their Alsation was called Lady so is my SIL calling herself a dog?!!

nailpolish · 22/03/2007 10:03

the dutch word for Gran is lovely but i cant for the life of me remember what it is...

EllieK · 22/03/2007 10:07

my dad din't want to be called grandad or anything 'old' sounding when i was expecting ds, but as soon as ds arrived his attitude started to change, and once he started to talk my dad decided he did quite like being called grandad after all!

maybe she will change her mind given time?

clarinsgirl · 22/03/2007 10:07

I don't think it will make any difference what you or your Mum wants. Kids have a funny way of deciding for themselves. DS's current name for his 2 grannies (no grandfathers ) are;

Nannybike (he has a bike at her house)
Nannybigip (she has custard creams which he loves)

He finds his own way to differentiate them and this changes quite often!

amidaiwish · 22/03/2007 10:10

we have grandma & grandad (my mum would hate granny or nanny, but she is happy with grandma)

and she was a grandma at 46! (not me, my sister...)

anyway, my friends children call one of their grandparents "boomy" - it was a name that the first grandchild used before she could say grandma, and that has stuck, and i think is very nice.
would something like that be an option?

KristinaM · 22/03/2007 10:14

yes you are being unreasonabel. let her be called what she wanst. your children will do their own thing anyway.

dont sweat the small stuff. save your enegey for something that really matters

mamama · 22/03/2007 10:14

My mum also said she didn't want to be called anything remotely grannyish. We humoured her and DS now calls her "Ninny"

Original poster
sar123 · 22/03/2007 10:15

LOL at ninny!!!

OP posts:
prettybird · 22/03/2007 10:26

My Mum was simialr to yours - not keen on being called anything grannyish (interestingly our ages at the time were similar to your situtation - I was 39, she was 59). Like yours, she is very young and fit for her age - so maybe therei is a sense of not wanting to give in to old age.

However, part of it was also 'cos she didn't want to be called granny as my won granny (her MIL) was such a great and loving character. However, garnny was in SOuth Afirca,, and we are in Scoltand, so the opportunities for confusion were limted. She didn't want to be called Oma (my Dad wanted to be called Opa - which is waht he had called hs - German - grandfather). In the event, she went with Granny and actually quite likes it. We never put any pressure on her - apart from gently reminding her when she was going through this debate, that she was after all, ds' grandmother - nothing was ging to change that!

prettybird · 22/03/2007 10:28

Oh - and I sued to call my other grandmother "Dodo" - I think it is an Afrcain word, but as youngster's, we just accepted it as the name that Mum's mother went by.

Maybe you couod make up a word that she is happy with?

Enid · 22/03/2007 10:29

no not unreasonable

I find it utterly irritating and agree with Cod that it is vanity

my MIL refuses to be called Granny but has to be Grandma

my mum refuses Grandma OR Granny and insists on being Nana

all of it is snobbery/reverse snobbery

I think I will insist on my children calling me Mater from now on

margo1974 · 22/03/2007 10:32

My mum wanted to be called Nanny Joan - I don't want this as her mum was called Joan and she was my nanny Joan. So when I talk to DD1, I call her Nanny-down-the-road!

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 22/03/2007 10:36

I had this more with my Dad (he is vain!).

Mum settled for Nanny (she thought Granny or Grandma sounded ancient) and as both she and Dad were only 46 when they became grandparents, I could see their point. My Dad is known as 'Dad-Dad' which suits him and all of his (five at the last count) grandchildren call him this and it just sounds right for him.

Original poster
sar123 · 22/03/2007 10:37

yes Codalmighty is right it is vanity which is another thread in itself....I remember her not liking us calling her mum in public sometimes and she delighted in being mistaken for my sister. I remember once we were on holiday in scotland, went on a distillery tour and at the end of the tour when they offer you a taste the guy offered me some instead. It wasn't so much that he made that mistake (although how can you mistake a 15 year old for her 30 something year old mother FFS! obviously he was trying it on with her!) but more that she was sooooooo delighted.

OP posts:
MrsBadger · 22/03/2007 10:39

I do love hearing these made-up names - one of DH's madder distant relatives insists on being called Jumble...

bundle · 22/03/2007 10:39

it really doesn't matter, my fil is called by his first name by all grandchildren. it's his choice and there really is nothing to get worked up about.
imo

UnquietDad · 22/03/2007 10:42

twiglett - MIL insisted on being "Mar-Mar" as well. I don't like it - sounds babyish. I think it is a Notts/Derbys thing?...

UnquietDad · 22/03/2007 10:45

and I'm with zippi on Nanna and Nan. In Yorks some kids use Nannan as well, which has an effect on me like fingernails being scraped down a blackboard.

nailpolish · 22/03/2007 10:47

i like Gran. nice and simple. but you dont get many greetings cards with it. usually they are Grandma or Nana

ShowOfHands · 22/03/2007 10:51

My MIL is refusing to be a 'Grandma' or any other name obviously denoting status but is happy with Mamgu as she is half Welsh. Unfortunately it's ended up being pronounced 'Monkey' in a very Johnny Vegas accent. She has only herself to blame.