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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be angry at dp for booking this holiday?

565 replies

Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 20:42

  • [Message from MNHQ - just noting, this thread was started in July 2017 and has been resurrected FOR NO GOOD REASON Wink - move along now, please there's nothing new to see here...]

So for ages I've been saying I wan to go to Paris I've never been and it's always been somewhere I want to go but money's right ATM.

Anyway I was talking about how much I want to go in front of my mum a few months and turns out she said to dp to book it for us, she'll have the DCs and pay for the trip for my birthday and keep it as a surprise.

I found out this trip was booked last week by accident and was obviously very excited although felt awful that my mum had given dp the money (£500)

I've just had a look at the details and he's booked it leaving on a Saturday afternoon (arriving late Saturday) and returning very early Monday morning. He booked the Monday off work for me and confirmed mum was having the dcs from Friday night and dropping them to childminder Monday (we collect at 6pm)

AIBU to be fuming that he's taken £500 for essentially 1 day?? I've looked and he could have got Friday evening/early Saturday flights and late Monday flight back for the exact same price so it's not a price issue - he said he just 'didn't think'. He's saying I'm so ungrateful and should be thankful for him (he didn't bloody pay for it)

I'm really upset and don't know if I am being ungrateful and a spoilt brat but I'm just pissed off and feel like my dream break and first holiday without dc is a fucking joke.

I've tried changing the flights and even cancelling but the charge is excessive.

OP posts:
Spookle · 26/06/2017 21:25

I'd be annoyed too OP. And I bet that he will be filled with ooh la la for the weekend too. Most romantic city in the world after all. I'm afraid all that rushed travelling would give me a 'headache' Grin

I would be up for 5AM pastries on the Sunday morning and have the rest of the day planned out like a military operation to see as much as I could. Google the places you want to go, opening times, travelling info and times and drag him all over the show.

Pack comfortable shoes and have a wonderful time.

5LiveSportsExtra · 26/06/2017 21:26

I'd be really annoyed too. I research all big purchases first to make sure I'm getting the best value for money and above all else, it's a long way to go for such a short break.

Dewey595 · 26/06/2017 21:26

Sad how so many posters have such low standards for their partner's behaviour, that they could even suggest to be grateful for him making a mess of your Mum's lovely present. I'd be livid OP, is he always this lazy and puts in minimal effort for you?

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 26/06/2017 21:27

He's hardly partner of the century

Don't kid your self that you are.

yomellamoHelly · 26/06/2017 21:27

They have the equivalent of London's Boris bikes. Excellent way to get a feel of the city/ see loads easily. Sort out the hire/ card approval online before you go.

craftsy · 26/06/2017 21:28

I'd be seriously fucked off. He's wasting your mother's money spending her £500 taking you on a day trip because he couldn't be arsed to put anything other than the absolute least amount of thought into it. He has taken something wonderful from your mum and squandered it. Anyone who thinks the OP is ungrateful to her lovely husband needs to have a long hard look at their own marriage if they think that this kind of careless bullshit is the mark of a thoughtful husband.

Ilovehamabeads · 26/06/2017 21:28

I would also change the flight if you possibly can. Paris is worth so much more than a day. You can enjoy a lot of the city by walking around which is free Smile

glastogal · 26/06/2017 21:28

£500 for one day in Paris? That's pretty outrageous.. I'd be rocking an airbnb and getting as much time there as possible for my money. However, I can see he has obviously tried to do something lovely for you, and it sounds like it's too late/expensive to change it now, so I think you should get over it and go make the most of your day!! There will be stuff to do - it's Paris, for crying out loud!! Have a great time Grin

HotelEuphoria · 26/06/2017 21:29

Going against the grain here but I think YANBU. I would be pissed off too, it was really crap organisation and why I book all our holidays and arrange the itinerary.

Billben · 26/06/2017 21:29

You're an ungrateful entitled bitch and you don't deserve to be treated to anything.

Jealous much? Can't see any other reason why you have to be so nasty otherwise.

I'm with you OP. I thinks it's an absolute waste of money. You can't even say that it's the thought that counts because I don't think he's given it much thought to be honest. The money wasn't coming out of his pocket at the end of the day.

BarbarianMum · 26/06/2017 21:29

If you were bored in Paris after a day grapes it's probably not the city for you tbh.

hippyhippyshake · 26/06/2017 21:29

Also, make sure YOU plan the sightseeing, don't leave it to Mr. Thoughtless otherwise you'll be lucky if you see more than the airport terminal.

HolgerDanske · 26/06/2017 21:29

Yes he's bern an utter idiot. What a waste of money, just because he couldn't be bothered to think a bit.

And he's NOT taking OP to Paris, he's a fellow recipient of a gift from her mum. He gets no credit at all for the thoughtfulness of the gift itself so IMO he's into negative on thoughtfulness points.

I'd be so annoyed and disappointed.

MarcelineTheVampire · 26/06/2017 21:30

I think the OP is getting a hard time here- I think I would be annoyed, a weekend has turned into 1 day because 'he didn't think'...

Common sense says that you book for early on day arrive and late as possible on day leave to get as much time as possible - it just seems that no effort has been made for what he knows is her dream holiday.

Whilst I don't think there is any nice way of putting it to your DP without sounding ungrateful I don't think YABU.

shinynewusername · 26/06/2017 21:30

Gin has lots of good ideas. And just wander. Definitely don't waste any time shagging useless DP Grin

Original poster
Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 21:31

trying to work out if these woman are jealous or spend a week worshiping at their partners feet because he put a dish in the sink

Thank you for practical responses, I'll try and put a milatry mission in.

I do feel it's a waste of mums money, I won't tell her as I know she'll be upset also.

He just doesn't tend to think about things, which imo is not an excuse for wasting my mums money. He had one job - book a flight and hotel, he clearly called the first company he could think of and booked the first flights he could with my mums money and expected me to be so Great full, which I was at first but expressed my disappointment at the timings of the flight for a holiday he knows I've looked forward to for as long as I've known him!

OP posts:
Kinderbonbon · 26/06/2017 21:32

Completely with op ! Husband completely lacked of common sense :(

mybrain · 26/06/2017 21:32

I book a lot of weekend breaks, and check for cheap flights daily, I mean daily. My last trip to Venice was booked with less than 3 weeks notice and the flights cost less than a train ticket to our next largest city.

Most airports (outside of London) have 1 or two flights a day. There isn't much choice, you could add an extra £200 for parking in a London airport and the travel down, plus the stress of flying from one..

Also Paris is basically like London (sorry to disappoint) it's nice, but very underwhelming (there is an actual thing called Paris syndrome).

They have fantastic public transport (tube is great) and you will see all the landmarks in two days.

Yes you won't have time to peruse them at your leisure, but unless your willing on spending a week there, most of it queuing with other tourists, your not really missing much.

We didn't get chance to do the art galleries, which I regret. But we got to the Eiffel Tower at 9:30 on a week day, and it had an 4-8 hour queue (the second lift was broken which admittedly didn't help)

The moulin rouge is disappointing, I had a better time at a seedy Irish bar opposit to the left! Fantastic wine and good Irish-French company!

He has done something nice for you, £500 is cheep, and he wants to surprise you.

Stop being a cow about it.

hippyhippyshake · 26/06/2017 21:34

Please say that he booked a decent central hotel and not a Novotel on the outskirts 😱😱

Ecclesiastes · 26/06/2017 21:34

YANBU,

Your partner is an idiot. But it turns out lots of women on MN would be delighted to have him. I shudder to think what their own partners must be like.

hippyhippyshake · 26/06/2017 21:34

Mybrain, she hasn't got two days...

Maman79 · 26/06/2017 21:35

it would be tres ironique if she fell in love out there with Monsieur Right

Emboo19 · 26/06/2017 21:35

What made you check Op? My boyfriends taken me away a fair few times and I've never checked if I could have got a better deal.
Did your mum give him £500 and say you book or did she say book something and I'll pay for it? Did she not question one day in Paris for £500?
Also flight costs change all the time so he may have got the best deal at the time and has just been unlucky that prices have come down!

Anyway there's not much you can do and at least he'd thought to book you time off work, my boyfriend wouldn't know who to contact to do that. So just make the most of it!

What times do you fly as it's only about a hour and half (presuming you're uk) so if you're going afternoon you won't be there late evening and will have time to fit some things in!
Then get up as early as possible and do as much as possible Sunday. Or make sure you have insurance and accidentally miss your flight home!!

mybrain · 26/06/2017 21:35

From my house Paris is quicker to get to than London, online check in, small airport ten mins away. Get there 1 hour before the flight, weekend break so nothing to check in. Last people on the plane so no tie doors waiting about.

Enjoy it! And drink loads on the plane!!

Pigface1 · 26/06/2017 21:36

Can't believe how many posters are being foul to the OP. You've been well trained to be submissive - you must have very low expectations of your DHs if you think the OP is supposed to be eternally grateful for this complete cock-up!

Her DH got handed £500 to book a break for his wife, he couldn't be arsed to research it properly, and the net result is that one day in Paris is going to cost £500 - plus a day of the OP's annual leave (which she'll spend on an early morning flight).

You take the time to research a break before booking - especially when you're spending someone else's cash and taking a day of someone else's leave.

OP - I second a suggestion by a poster upthread to change the flights and save the money by not eating out in fancy restaurants.