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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be angry at dp for booking this holiday?

565 replies

Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 20:42

  • [Message from MNHQ - just noting, this thread was started in July 2017 and has been resurrected FOR NO GOOD REASON Wink - move along now, please there's nothing new to see here...]

So for ages I've been saying I wan to go to Paris I've never been and it's always been somewhere I want to go but money's right ATM.

Anyway I was talking about how much I want to go in front of my mum a few months and turns out she said to dp to book it for us, she'll have the DCs and pay for the trip for my birthday and keep it as a surprise.

I found out this trip was booked last week by accident and was obviously very excited although felt awful that my mum had given dp the money (£500)

I've just had a look at the details and he's booked it leaving on a Saturday afternoon (arriving late Saturday) and returning very early Monday morning. He booked the Monday off work for me and confirmed mum was having the dcs from Friday night and dropping them to childminder Monday (we collect at 6pm)

AIBU to be fuming that he's taken £500 for essentially 1 day?? I've looked and he could have got Friday evening/early Saturday flights and late Monday flight back for the exact same price so it's not a price issue - he said he just 'didn't think'. He's saying I'm so ungrateful and should be thankful for him (he didn't bloody pay for it)

I'm really upset and don't know if I am being ungrateful and a spoilt brat but I'm just pissed off and feel like my dream break and first holiday without dc is a fucking joke.

I've tried changing the flights and even cancelling but the charge is excessive.

OP posts:
HeadfirstForHalos · 26/06/2017 21:03

I'd be annoyed too. It's a lot of money and it shows a lack of thought and planning. I'd be especially annoyed at him being careless with my mums money! If mil have me £500 to treat dh to a weekend away I'd research it and put lots of effort into it, make the most of thr money and make it as special as possible.

SteppingOnToes · 26/06/2017 21:03

Don't worry about having this problem again - it's unlikely he will ever volunteer to do something now after this. You have effectively created one of 'those' men...

HipsterHunter · 26/06/2017 21:04

Come on people, he's fucked that right up!

OP I would be cross. He hasn't put any thought into this at all. A waste of money and child Londom favours.

countryrosepink · 26/06/2017 21:04

I agree with you! For the same cost he could have maximised time there! Nothing you can do now though so have a fab time!

HeadfirstForHalos · 26/06/2017 21:04

*gave me

Ceto · 26/06/2017 21:04

FFS! He's taking YOU to Paris!

No, he isn't. He's accompanying OP on a trip paid for by her mother. There's a big difference.

BarbarianMum · 26/06/2017 21:04

I don't think YABU OP. I wonder if he puts so little thought into organising the things he likes with his own money? Be grateful to your mum for the kind thought but you don't need to fawn over him for being thoughtless.

RainbowBriteRules · 26/06/2017 21:04

He already is one of 'those' men by doing a shit job and expecting her to be massively grateful for it.

Itscurtainsforyou · 26/06/2017 21:04

I'd be disappointed and frustrated, but mainly because I'm a control freak who researches everything thoroughly before jumping in Smile. He sounds a bit like my OH, doesn't really think things like this through - the gesture is right but not the details.

I suppose there's no chance of changing the flights?

Easyonthetonic · 26/06/2017 21:05

I can see why you're upset. Many people saying what a lovely thing your partner has done but it was all down to your mother. She suggested it to him, offered to have the kids and paid for it.

He has put little thought into how to get the most out of the time there.

Prometheus · 26/06/2017 21:05

I don't know why you're getting a hard time. He has majorly fucked up the booking. What a waste of your mum's money. Is there no way you can change the flights?

phoenixtherabbit · 26/06/2017 21:05

Your mum and dp did a nice thing for you. Bet you're a joy at Christmas. Do you price check all your gifts?!

Coddiwomple · 26/06/2017 21:05

You are over reacting slightly, but you are right and most people would be at least disappointed to see such an occasion wasted when you could have stayed for much longer. Who wants to travel to spend a day somewhere instead of at least a long weekend?

Even in Paris you can't find many nice restaurants serving all night long!

If you really cannot change the holiday, can't you have a lay-in then go to a nice (local) restaurant on Saturday, and make the most of your days off? You can still enjoy Paris all Sunday long, it's better than nothing.

I do find posters above very harsh, they do sound a bit jealous!

RandomMess · 26/06/2017 21:05

I'd be upset too, all that travelling and £ to have one full day to something...

It would feel like they didn't think I was worth the effort of putting proper thought into it.

Sara107 · 26/06/2017 21:06

Truly I would be disappointed too. It just sounds like he's not great at planning if he got the babysitting organised for Friday and booked the flight for Saturday. You could have had much more time, and if money is so tight it's not like you can just go again another time. Anyway, it's what you've got now so just try and enjoy it as much as you can.

mumeeee · 26/06/2017 21:06

YABU and ungrateful.

EdithWeston · 26/06/2017 21:06

It does sound a bit rubbish that he didn't book a later return in the Monday.

He didn't come up with the idea (OP had been hinting), he didn't come up with the cash (DMum did) nor did he spur the timing (the gift of the money did).

His role was to spend it wisely. And he has made the time there a bit skimpy, which is a pity, and does suggest that he's less interested in it than either OP or her mother.

BewareOfDragons · 26/06/2017 21:07

I would be annoyed too, OP. It's a half-arsed, non-sensible booking and he got the money off your mum. What is the point, really.

shinynewusername · 26/06/2017 21:07

Poor OP - it was inevitable that you would get bucket loads of hypocrisy and bile from the haters.

I bet no one who has slagged you off would really be happy with a holiday from Saturday evening to Monday am when it could have been Friday evening to Monday evening. Who wants to go for 36 hours instead of 72? Of course your DP should have applied his brain. It's done now though so try not to let it spoil the trip.

tigerdriverII · 26/06/2017 21:07

He's been a twat. Well meaning of course but I agree with you. Soooo annoying.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 26/06/2017 21:07

I see where you're coming from too, OP. 1 day in Paris @ £500 seems rather expensive and pointless when you could have had 2/3.

Mind you, I've always thought, if you want something done the way you want it, do it yourself. Next big birthday you have, sort out the arrangements yourself. If you fuck it up, you've only yourself to blame!

Boysnme · 26/06/2017 21:07

I'm with you OP, I would think it a waste of money to go for what is a day. I'd understand it if that was the only times or all you could fit around work & childcare but if I could go go longer for the same price I'd be annoyed I wasn't. But so would my DH so he would research it well first.

MorrisZapp · 26/06/2017 21:08

Sorry, why should she be grateful to the DP, can anyone explain? He was given cash and offered babysitting, all he had to do was book some travel. I'd be pretty disappointed too.

As for calling op names and saying the dp sounds lovely, really? Can anyone say why he's lovely?

TheFifthKey · 26/06/2017 21:08

I agree he's already one of those men. Does half a job at someone else's say so and gets plaudits left right and centre.

TheFatOfTheLand · 26/06/2017 21:08

I can see your point OP. I wouldn't be over the moon to do a fair amount of travelling (to/from airport plus checking in etc. on top of flight) for effectively one day in Paris.

If there wasn't a longer holiday for the same price I'd think you were ungrateful, however, there is sooooo

YANBU to be disappointed that you aren't having a longer holiday.