Would you leave pretty bratty 14 yr old girl alone regularly with decent-looking young male piano teacher with no visible mention of partner?

[Evelight]

Well would you? Or is my mind screwed up by Nabakov and The Police etc etc during my impressionable years?

It's not about when films and songs were released, it's about when you saw/heard them. POMJB would have been on TV in the 90s, and 80s songs are still played on the radio.

Get a teenage nanny camera installed secretly, then you can review the lessons

Seconded!

If you're that concerned, this is one way of knowing what's going on if the lessons are in your own home.

If lessons are at his home, then stay at the back of the room quietly.

Anyone can get a DBS check for themselves Andrew.
OK, read your updates OP. I don't see why the attractiveness or relationship status of either party is relevant, but to answer your question, if it was my DD or a child I otherwise had responsibility for, I would want to see a DBS check - it's a criminal record check btw. You say you have references which is also good. I'd come in and meet the teacher and chat, as much for music purposes tbh but also to check them out. I wouldn't stay for lessons at 14. Maybe the first one, even just to sit in the hall or kitchen on MN. Do what makes you feel comfortable though. If the guy set my alarm bells off I wouldn't hesitate to make an excuse. To just drop off a DC with a stranger would be negligent.

Just placemarking on the very slime offchance that OP comes back to explain...

I would think that this would be okay. I think that, should your daughter decide that she has a crush on her piano teacher, at the very worst, he'll politely rebuff her and it will be hideously embarrassing.

Realistically, what will happen is that he will teach her some piano and expect her to practise every day. He might even get cross if she hasn't practised.

have i missed any one saying OP are you on fucking glue???
with these posts theyre certainly on something!!

I grew up in the 90s. Its a constant battle of furbies, troll dolls and Polly pockets. I have deep seated hair issues. And don't even get me started on Take That splitting up.

Anyone can get a DBS check for themselves
This isn't correct. Only organisations can request DBS checks. The DBS check I showed people when I was tutoring was from other voluntary work that required me to be checked.

usernamenonumber are you saying that old reruns of POMJB was a massive cultural influence on teenagers in the 90s? Really?

I guess less than 1% of teenagers in the 90s would have read Lolita.

And one song from 10+ years before? Played occasionally on the radio?

Really?

.... and you have to get a different DPS for each role

DBS even. DPS is a delivery company, I believe. Not the same thing at all

notyoda you can sign up for the update service so employers just need to look on the system rather than having to do a complete new check.

I'm not going to get into the general argument here, but if this is a concern then why don't you seek out a female piano teacher?

I think that, should your daughter decide that she has a crush on her piano teacher, at the very worst, he'll politely rebuff her and it will be hideously embarrassing.

Agree. On the positive side, she may decide she has a crush on her piano teacher and do loads of practising, thereby increasing the value for money of your lessons.

The media whip people up into a frenzy about this sort of thing. While I know there are exceptions to this, in reality most young men in their twenties do not have a thing for teenage girls. Even if he does, if we assume that he is a professional teacher with an eye to his career, he would steer well clear in any case.

if this is a concern then why don't you seek out a female piano teacher

Not safe either.

I'd go for Artificial Intelligence.

I teach private lessons and if anyone tried to sneakily nanny cam me, it would be the last lesson they ever recieved.

If you're not sure about the situation either DON'T DO IT or ask to sit in on the lesson until you make a decision.

Are you worried about the wellbeing of your dd or the piano teacher?

I think you should protect the piano teacher by not allowing him to risk being compormised by 14yr old girl. I feel sorry for him already as he seems to be under suspicion. Leave the door open perhaps - or sit in.

Lweji AI is perfect! But what if they break the robot laws and begin to kill I think OP should just give up on this piano idea all together. Having discussed all the routes, it's clearly far too dangerous.
What about a nice isolated activity - diary writing?

I think OP has been reading My Sweet Audrina.

Sit in the first few lessons and get a feel for the situation.

I would firstly check with the piano tutor. Not all will want you to leave, for their own protection against unfounded allegations when 1:1. Some prefer you to be on the premises.

Piano sounds a bit like paedo

This is obviously why the OP has legitimate concerns.

are you saying that old reruns of POMJB was a massive cultural influence on teenagers in the 90s? Really?

I didn't say anything remotely like that.

OP said she grew up exposed to films/music like that. People were picking on her because the ones she mentioned were out before the 90s. Doesn't mean she didn't see/hear them in the 90s.

Wtf? So, because some people once wrote books/songs about a relationship between an underage girl and an adult male, you can't help but assume a young male piano teacher is bound to be a paedophile. Right...

My daughter has a ring she's quite attached to. AIBU to assume she's a hobbit, and to ground her in case she sets off to Mordor with a wizard?

Fiction and song lyrics are not necessarily a good basis for judging the character of real human beings.

OP you cannot abandon this thread. Stand up and fight like a proper MNer.

Thread abscondment is for wimps!