To think that if you can't afford the £500 deposit

[orangesquashthethird]

You shouldn't be booking a 15k wedding for 11 weeks time hoping that someone (your parents) will pay for all of it, including the deposit that is needed immediately for a venue they haven't even viewed!

Bride is a 20 year old on minimum wage in a full time job..

Groom is a 23 year old who is at uni receiving student loans.

My wedding cost around £4000 all in. That included registrars office ceremony, country hotel, accommodation for 2 nights for bride and groom, canapés, 3 course lunch and evening buffet, designer dress from several seasons ago, photographer at mates rates, grooms suit, parental gifts, cake, home made decorations and invites and reception drinks and wine on table. All for fewer than 30 guests.

So it is possible but it sounds to me like they want a champagne wedding on lemonade wages!

Have they even checked the registrar is available?

We get married in just under 3 months abs it's costing under £4000. Church and minister is £200 (church of Scotland, beautiful little country church) going to be around £250 for village hall hire, big buffet (everyone invited all day as ceremony is until 3pm) my dress was a designer in shop but got it for £700 less on ebay from closing down bridal shop, not having cars as all local and bar is paid for by guests. Not having any favours or anything like that and having a ceilidh disco

We looked at the stately castle a couple years ago which was going to be £5000 for the package but would have been more like £8 or £9000 by the time all the extras were added and then I found out I was expecting so it was shelved

On the parents paying mine are giving us nothing and PIL have offered to pay for photography

That should be isn't until 3pm! All my bridesmaid dresses came from eBay and they are paying their own hair/makeup

I think the issue isn't really about the cost, it's about the fact, they haven't put aside a penny and still expect it just to happen.

I don't think anyone has a problem with a simple wedding or a lavish wedding but to decide to have anything in life without being prepared to contribute towards it in any way (including looking around a venue!) is all a bit odd to me.

The groom has never actually had a job yet!

Well YANBU but I can't understand why you're so invested in it.

I agree!

What has it got to do with you op?
It's between the bride, groom and parents what they do with their money.
Why are you so outraged by it - their life, their decision, their money.
How do you know what private conversations bride and mother have had - poke your nose out.

is this part of the modern genre for ever competitive weddings? It costs nothing near £15k to get married. This is a joke.

Speaking from a venue perspective im a little bemused they have space to book a wedding in 12 weeks unless its not a friday/saturday.

What the ....Puppy Middletons was 2million? HOW is that possible.

OP, you've clearly hit a rich seam..... lots of posters queuing up to agree with you and tell their stories, but I agree with the 4 or 5 others who are asking what this has to do with you when you're a cousin?

Why is this your business or concern?

Surely it's between the B+G and the parents.

So from me, I think you are BU because I don't think it's any of your business. But I do acknowledge that this doesn't make this thread any the less interesting for that, so I'm a hypocrite!

This couple doesn't sound mature enough to be getting married. They only sound interested in having a nice party without any thought to the actual marriage that comes afterwards.

Quite frankly as somebody who is neither paying nor being paid for, it's none of your business.

Such a waste of money.we got married 17 years ago and it was a nice day and we have nice photos but really we hardly remember it. It seems a huge deal at the time but really is just a big party.

Our wedding was £8,000 including honeymoon, my sister's was £24,000 without honeymoon but hers was a lot more formal and traditional. Her dress was made by a friend so she only had to buy the material whereas my dress was the most expensive thing, and cost more than our honeymoon.

If her parents can afford it, let them but it's unfair of them to stamp their feet and for the parents to pay because they don't want to upset her

That's crazy! Husband and I married two years ago. We had a wedding that we could afford which in total cost around £3K? We didn't expect anyone to help either.

They definitely need some to do some serious re thinking if they expect to find £15K in 11 weeks time! 😬😬😬😬
Good luck to them!

Shouldn't it be the parents posting on here asking for advice?! Why are you so involved-dotheir finances actually affect you?

Yes. Noone ever has an opinion on anything unless they are paying. Not.

Wow. Seriously my whole wedding cost 4 k so it is possible. They need to either wait till they can afford it or reduce what they doing. My aunt and uncle recently got married after 30 years together cost two meals for two random strangers, one gold ring and a registery office licence. Very romantic. We as a family had a meal together a few weeks later in ask and paid for oursheleves as we were together anyone for my dd christening.

Anyway not anyone

Sounds like they've been watching "Don't Tell the Bride" and think they've got plenty of time because they're allowing for 11 weeks preparation instead of three. Cloud cuckoo land.

I am a bit bemused at how does she expect to have a bells and all wedding in 11weeks. My bf is getting married soon, she started planning about 18 months before and even then she struggled to find people who were available. Everything is booked up so far in advance.

Packages often include a DJ and even centrepieces etc. All the couple need do is book and pay for the registrar, send out some invitations (Vistaprint is inexpensive and quick), find or make a bouquet and pick up a dress from W2B (might need alterations - but it shouldn't be card to find a seamstress).

They have almost three months - that's plenty of time!

Finding £Xk is altogether trickier though.

We're spending a lot on our wedding but have been saving up for three years for it. We won't owe anything when the day comes and won't be paying it off after as we've put a lot away.

It's what we wanted and it's what we're paying for. You absolutely don't have to though. The venue and food is expensive, my dress was £350 and my bridesmaids were £20 each. We want nice food and a nice venue.

It's been three years of planning. 11 weeks is bringing me out in hives!!

Oh dear. Entitled people. Never ends well.
Our wedding cost £2000 and it was fantastic!

It really depends what you want as to how much things cost. I got married last July and have a massive family. I've got 4 siblings and my DH has 3 and we both have big extended families we are very close to. So our wedding was for 200 guests (so already the cost is waaaay up) there were no local venues that catered a 3 course sit down meal for that many guests available on any of our 3 preferred dates (and we didn't want to wait another year to get married and therefore move in together) so we ended up hiring a marquee in the grounds of a stately home. The marquee hire itself (to fit 200 plus the 50 evening guests) was £12,000 including table hire, seating hire, plates, cutlery etc. Then we had to hire in caterers who I thought were actually pretty reasonable. It was £58 a head for a 3 course gourmet meal, tea and coffee and fudge and a hog roast in the evening that we catered 200 portions for that so it's £11,600 for food and you're up to basically 24k without anything else. I never did add up the total cost but it was over £30k and we saved on bits and pieces. I got an off the rack dress, had a mate doing flowers, hair and make up, my uncle drove me to the wedding in his BMW (no wedding cars) we designed and printed our own invitations etc... so I can see how things easily add up. Luckily my MIL and FIL paid 1/3, my parents paid 1/3 and we paid the other 1/3 between us. So it didn't feel tooooo bad. I'm aware I'm in a very privileged position but if you are wanting to feed more than 30 people I really can't see how you would get it done much cheaper than £7 or £8,000
If I wasn't as privileged I would have done mine for less, but I had the money so I got gourmet food, a gorgeous venue, in the grounds I wanted and had a massive party with all of my massive family and friends. It was a fab night but I'm sure it would have been just as fab had my circumstances been different

Wow...personally I think unless you have that sort of money to spare then that's a waste. I know weddings can be pricey but they can also be cheap. It's all very well to want special memories but my friend had a stately home wedding, fancy cars, dress, desiGner cake etc all the frills paid for by her dad who did have the money. However she told me herself that she actually spent so much time worrying about the details and speaking to guests that she barely got to enjoy a moment with her new husband or eat much more than a bite of her expensive food. Obviously I know people that have paid large amounts and had lovely weddings also but some of the best ones I've been to have been the cheap ones. Mine was £750 including £300 of that being the rings. My dress was £29! Bargain! Another friend of mine spent £1500 it was fantastic their held it in the woods on a camp site and had bbqs it was fab!

I mean if the parents are willing to fork out for it then I guess that's their business but in my opinion if they can't afford the £500 deposit they should be lowering their wedding budget a bit.