To think that if you can't afford the £500 deposit

[orangesquashthethird]

You shouldn't be booking a 15k wedding for 11 weeks time hoping that someone (your parents) will pay for all of it, including the deposit that is needed immediately for a venue they haven't even viewed!

Bride is a 20 year old on minimum wage in a full time job..

Groom is a 23 year old who is at uni receiving student loans.

That's a 20 year olds idea of life. A deluded and spoilt 20 year old.

It's a stately home so I think 15k is probably conservative. They want all the trimmings, a church wedding, flowers, 4 bridesmaids, canapés, champagne, 3 course wedding breakfast for 50, evening reception, disco, big dress, suit hire, cars.....

Well if they want that they should not get married now and save hard for about 5 years. But there are better things to save for than that. A house deposit for example.

That was the original plan, but I think they've decided saving is boring - recently bought a 1k TV out of his student loan and now sounds like they have nothing left.

Oh and they're renting a flat. Decided they "deserve" something better so went looking at 2 bed houses to rent instead. Guess who needs to be guarantor as they don't have enough income for either the flat or the house? They didn't even bother asking the parents about moving. Just told them and expected them to guarantor it!

What horrid pressure to put their parents under.............

Isn't 20k the cost of an average wedding?

Oh, bless you.

Yes, so the media/wedding magazines would have you believe. I can't imagine why it might be in their interests to say so ...

I had a friend who got married for 3k I think it was a nice wedding, it was a church wedding and the reception was smallish but decent enough with a buffet for people to help themselves. I think 15k is a bit much.

£500 won't be the deposit on a venue that is going to cost £15k though - it would be much more than that if it was a package for £15k so presumably once they start booking other bits and bobs they can cut back. And frankly if her parents end up paying £15k when they don't want to (which you can apparently 'tell' then that is down to them not her.

LRD is that like "it costs a million pounds to bring up a child" media talk?

Like I say, went to a wedding last month which was lovely and i was told it cost 25k

Someone (parents?) needs to tell them to get a bloody grip and start living within their means.

Well, their parents keep fronting them cash. You reap what you sow.

orange - um, maybe? I don't know what you're referring to.

TBH my suspicion is that the median figure for a wedding could be 20k, or even 25 - but an awful lot of people do the cheap-and-cheerful thing.

I'd have loved to see the look on my parents' faces if I'd asked them to contribute £15k (or even £11k) towards our wedding - and they could have afforded to. Ironically, we could have afforded it ourselves, but thought that spending about £5k (almost a decade ago), then buying a house with the rest was a better idea. I don't think my parents would have been worried about upsetting me either....

My first wedding cost £4k - church and reception/ disco for 150. Wine with the meal and som money behind the bar but not a free bar all night.

Second wedding cost £3k - registry office then a marquee in a wonderful location with caterers for afternoon tea and evening buffet for 100 guests. Had loads of booze left over - still drinking the prosecco!

Our wedding cost about £1.5k I think. Perhaps not even that much. It was 2.5 years ago.

Sounds to me like its between the couple and their parents to decide on budget - what has is got to do with you? Are you a sibling worrying about your inheritance being squandered or something?

I don't feel sorry for their parents at all. They created these entitled, self-centered monsters.

My wedding cost 13K, my mum paid for it and I tried to find the best prizes I could get and deals to keep the price down. The venue did a good package for us for 5k included drinks on arrival, 5 course wedding breakfast, canopes, DJ, Bridal suit, Hot buffet for the evening,

Have they sent invitations out yet? Because you tend to do that 2/3 months before. Also surprised a country house has availability at 11 weeks notice, weddings get booked years in advance.

Mine cost £8k. Exclusive hire of a big country house wedding. Afternoon tea whilst photographs happening. Fantastic food and drink. Live music in evening. But not a free bar in the evening. Flowers. Big dress and suits. Hotel rooms for wedding party members.

Very cheap honeymoon afterwards because we ran out of money! Fabulous day though

Are they already churchgoers? If not it's not that straightforward to get married in a church.

Why are they in such a rush?

Are you sure thats what the £500 is for.

I used to work for this type of venue.

Assuming the venue has a date free, in 11 weeks, a £500 deposit is usually only taken when booking years in advance. Then durther payments of £500 would be due a various points. Like £500 12 months before, another £1000 payable 6 months before etc.

Booking a wedding 11 weeks before would result in all those payments being made at once.

Their attitude suggests they should not be getting married at all. They sound immature and like they just want a wedding, not a marriage.

I agree. They want a wedding, not a marriage. Far too immature.

I couldn't care less what anyone's wedding cost but expecting parents to pay is greedy.

That said, I despise everything to do with the white dress, bridesmaids, chair covers and favours so I'm probably not the best person to aks! I'm a casual, Garden or registrars girl.

Our wedding was in a gorgeous golf club, 3 course wedding breakfast, champagne and free bar, it cost about 6k in total, honeymoons were about 3k.
We kept our numbers low, we made the choice that we wanted a better holiday after so invited about 60 to our wedding and evening do.
I couldn't ever justify spending that much on a wedding, it's a house deposit essentially!
Thinking of it 6k seems a lot just for one day?!!!! It's crazy they expect people to cough up ( their parents) and fit the bill. Their parents need serious realistic words with them!!!!