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AIBU?

To feel a bit shit that nobody sponsored me?

349 replies

MyGastIsFlabbered · 24/06/2017 19:35

I signed up to do the 10,000 steps a day thing for Cancer Research. I put my fundraising page on FB, Twitter but not one person has sponsored me. I know money's tight for most of us at the moment, but to not raise even a penny makes me feel shit. AIBU to take it so personally?

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HildaOg · 26/06/2017 22:19

When someone says you're 'brave' to shave your head, they mean your head looks bad shaved and use brave as a euphenism because they're too polite to say they think you're mad.

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kali110 · 26/06/2017 22:35

Don't let this thread put you off op. I'm sorry it took a nasty turn.
10,000 would be huge for me too!
Yes cancer is it highlighting this month?

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Trollspoopglitter · 26/06/2017 22:44

Has anyone seen the events Cancer research uk has on its website as sponsored events

Dry January
Skydiving
Ballroom dancing - promoted as "Sign up to an Ultra Ballroom event and learn to dance with 8 weeks of free training, raise money for Cancer Research UK and showcase your skills at a glamorous black tie event."

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MaisyPops · 26/06/2017 23:15

stopped doing big well publicised races, as they are mostly charity events and require sponsorship.
I find that too.
And some charities state a minimum donation to the charity of a few hundred quid that the runner has to pay up front and then fundraiser to pay themselves back so to speak for their massive personal donation.

It soon turns into people assuming that anyone who does anything long distance walking, running, swimming, cycling etc must be doing it for charity. No, I'm doing it because it's good for my health! now move out my way and stop walking having signed up to a time band that you're clearly not pacing towards Wink

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AnneEyhtMeyer · 26/06/2017 23:30

Head shaving seems to be very attention-seeking, and is in poor taste in my opinion, so no, I wouldn't sponsor that, either. I also would never sponsor someone raising money for Macmillan after seeing their accounts.

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2rebecca · 26/06/2017 23:38

I wouldn't give someone money to shave their head or grow a moustache because to me it seems pointless. Shave your head if you want to shave your head, give to charity if you want to give to charity. Why should other people give to charity just because you've decided to shave your head? Giving yourself unnecessary suffering for charity is as bonkers to me as the going on a nice holiday somewhere exotic for charity.
Just give your own money to charity and make your own choices about exercise, holidays and hairstyles and leave your friends and relatives to make their own choices.
Trying to manipulate other people to give money to anything even if charity just isn't a sociable friendly thing to do in my opinion. Just give your own money away if you feel that strongly about the charity.

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Nixie60 · 27/06/2017 03:06

She doesn't have to do something you find really adventurous like some sort of performing monkey in order to raise the money. If one of my friends did something for charity, however small, I would support them with it.

^^This. All the OP is saying is that, given she supports her friends, it would be nice if they reciprocated. Well done for making an effort to do something for others OP FlowersFlowers

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Cantseethewoods · 27/06/2017 04:49

I work in the fundraising sector, albeit on the funder side rather than the fundraiser side. A couple of things:

  1. Sponsorship fatigue is real, and charities that rely on personal fundraising "feats" really need to think about how they diversify their funding base because retail donors are starting to wise up to the fact that this way of fundraising is inefficient and expensive (e.g. if you sponsor someone on a marathon place for London and they raise the minimum required, c. 60%-75% of your donation actually subsidises the costs of the event.) I'm waiting for some bright spark to get people to sponsor her "not to run the marathon" because the charity would actually be better off. However, the 10,000 step challenge isnt actualyl terrible, because it's very low cost to both participant and charity so the trickle through to programme would be high compared to (e.g) Race for Life or the skydiving mentioned upthread.


  1. The growth in these events has led to expectation inflation among donors so people are having to do more (apparently) extreme feats to get sponsored. However, many of these are also very expensive to stage, so you get into donor dilution again.


  1. That said, what is a challenge to one person isnt to another. Assuming that it's 10,000 steps every day for a month (with no averaging), that's quite hard if you do a desk job, can't walk to work and have no evening childcare. Time is most people's limiting factor when it comes down to it. I run 50-70k a week but I definitely have 4-5 days a month where I wouldn't break 4,000. Similarly, to the person scoffing at dry Jan, I'd way rather run a marathon or do the 12 mile Tough mudder than have a dry month. I'd find it a lot easier.
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womaninatightspot · 27/06/2017 05:04

I'm another one who doesn't sponsor people I prefer to donate directly to charity. Don't even pass the childrens sponsorship forms round I just stump up a tenner. Thankfully the school only does two sponsored events a year.

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GoneDownhill · 27/06/2017 06:03

Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable. It's great that you are doing something to try and raise money for Cancer Research though 👍🏻

I never sponsor people, and I never give money via JustGiving or other similar sites which take a portion of the money for themselves (I understand they are businesses but I rather give all my money direct to the charity)

I'd rather just be directly asked if I want to make a donation rather than 'sponsoring' someone to do something that they probably wanted to do anyway 😂

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wheredoesallthetimego · 27/06/2017 10:19

When someone says you're 'brave' to shave your head, they mean your head looks bad shaved and use brave as a euphenism because they're too polite to say they think you're mad.

this

it's brave in the "yes minister" sense

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Ohyesiam · 27/06/2017 10:46

I can't agree with all the pp s who say most people do 10 000 steps a day. It's 5 miles, and if most people walked 5 miles a day we wouldn't have the obesity epidemic , and all the associated ill health that for with it.
I work in public health, and know these stats well. The majority of people( ie most ) in the UK walk less than a mile a day.

And on an anecdotal level, my dd had a friend for a sleepover on Sunday night ( shared activity to present at school on Monday morning), and her mum was so alarmed when she found out they would walk just over a mile to school, that she offered to drive over, and pick then up! She said she couldn't remember a time her 13 year old had last walled a mile. According to dd, her friend moaned about aching legs for the rest of the day!

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Trollspoopglitter · 27/06/2017 12:13

Is it just me who assumed the 10,000 steps challenge was targeted for people with cancer undergoing some sort of medical treatment, for whom the task is equivalent to running a marathon?

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Imamouseduh · 27/06/2017 12:47

Come on, 10k steps is a normal day.

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Blueflowers2011 · 27/06/2017 12:57

I understand how you must feel as it's a good cause but I what I don't understand is this expectation from people fundraising that everyone will or should sponsor them.

I made the decision about 5 years ago not to sponsor anymore as i was receiving so many requests. I still get them, especially from people at work but it just adds up and i simply cannot afford it.

I used to be embarassed into sponsoring people but as I have got older I dont have an issue sayomg no now. It's nothing personal OP.

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Rhubarbginisnotasin · 27/06/2017 14:24

Come on, 10k steps is a normal day

for many people its not, and for many a different reason that has nothing to do with being unmotivated to get the steps in.

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Roomster101 · 27/06/2017 14:43

Come on, 10k steps is a normal day

Running a marathon is normal for some people as well though. As I never walk 10k steps in a day and I'm not sure if I could, 10k steps a day would be more of an achievement for me than running a marathon would be for many runners. It's all relative.

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FatGirlWithChocolate · 27/06/2017 15:07

I'm sorry, but 10,000 steps isn't a "normal" day for everyone. My SIL is a highly qualified professional woman, with a very sedentary job. She did this challenge, and had to push herself every single day to do it. A "normal" days step count for her was sub 4000, and she works long, stressful hours. Are we saying that she shouldn't be proud, or sponsored because it's "just a "normal" day? - you do know that the 10,000 is just an arbitrary number the manufacturers chose as a daily target when they first made the step counters..they needed a number and they chose 10,000. Could have been 2,000, could have been 20,000. It's just a number to aim for. Not a magic, life giving, "normal" number. So, what exactly is "normal"?

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MuvaWifey77 · 27/06/2017 15:08

My 6 year old does between 7 and 11 k steps on his fit bit daily. Find a real challenge OP, don't take it personal. It's your challenge not you they didn't sponsor.

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Butteredparsnip1ps · 27/06/2017 15:27

Why are you really cheesed off with your FB friends though?

to paraphrase a Mumsnet meme, sponsorship is a request not a mandate.

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 27/06/2017 16:07

If anyone had bothered reading my OP, it does say I feel shit that I haven't raised a penny, not that I think my friends are shits for not sponsoring.

And for the love of all things chocolate, how many more times do I have to ask that people don't just say '10k is normal'? FFS people.

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AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 27/06/2017 16:10

Are we saying that she shouldn't be proud, or sponsored because it's "just a "normal" day?

It's not that a person shouldn't be proud of themselves, its that its not something that you should expect other people to sponsor you for. A personal achievement is great, but that has no bearing on whether other people should give you money.

If anyone had bothered reading my OP, it does say I feel shit that I haven't raised a penny, not that I think my friends are shits for not sponsoring

You kinda said both. There was quite a lot of "couldn't they even have spared a quid" and "I sponsored them so why didn't they sponsor me" comments from you.

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 27/06/2017 16:16

The comments about 'couldn't they have spared a couple of quid' comments weren't aimed at anyone in particular. Maybe I worded my posts badly because I was feeling upset (and was a bit tipsy) but what I was feeling was disappointment that out of the 200+ people I'm connected with on FB (and 99.9% of them are people I've met at least once not just random strangers) I didn't manage even £1 in sponsorship. That's disappointing but of course I respect people's rights to spend their money how they choose.

AND I GET IT, 10K STEPS A DAY IS NOT WORTH SPONSORING Hmm(maybe if I shout it people might get the message that I know that and cease to tell me)

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 27/06/2017 16:17

And I hate the fact that the term 'give YOU money' keeps popping up. The money goes directly to the charity, it doesn't ever come near me.

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AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 27/06/2017 16:22

But it is sponsoring YOU. It's giving their money to your cause for your reasons. In one sense they are giving you money, you're giving it to the charity.

AND I GET IT, 10K STEPS A DAY IS NOT WORTH SPONSORING hmm(maybe if I shout it people might get the message that I know that and cease to tell me)

You do get that people are talking to each other, answering other posters comments, not just yours? You may be the OP but its not all about you.

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