My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To keep my mouth shut?

149 replies

PennandPeg · 24/06/2017 15:51

Before I start I just wanted to say I've named changed as what I'm about to say is of a sensitive nature. Long story short I recently found out that my younger ds has been up to something illegal (I can't say what) with her so called ex partner and has been profiting quite substantially from it. Usually I would speak to her about it but going off of her past behabuour she would either change the subject completely or tell me to mind my own buisness. Usually I would but this has infuriated me and she has led our family a merry dance making out she is something she is not.

It is quite complex but basically she has three children to a so called ex partner who she has apparently been on and off with for years. They still live life together as couple but to the outside world they are just being amicable parents trying their best to make it work for their kids sake. This isn't the case. They are still together and I've known this from the beginning but left them to it as after all it's their business and does not affect me.

However, since I found out what I have it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep my mouth shut. It's like she leads a double life but only me and a small a handful of family members no the real her as she puts on this act and persona for her friends. Basically I'm concerned for my parents if they were to realise what she has been up to. They would be devestated and most likely disown her hence why I've kept it to myself. But it's so hard to see her all the time (I've tied to keep my distance believe me) and have to sit there listening to her lie to me and go on and on as she does. She has young children and what she is doing is a risk as she could potentially go to jail and lose them if she were to be found out. I made a decision to take it to my grave (ie not tell family mainly our parents) but it's so difficult. I just want to scream at her and call her a selfish greedy cow but something stops me. Aibu here considering technically it's none of my buisnes? Or do I have a right to be upset as it affects us all in various ways?

OP posts:
Report
PennandPeg · 24/06/2017 16:32

They are harming the people they are selling it too. Like I've already said it's not just that. My sister has gone to great lengths to decieve people and create this web of lies. I wouldn't have expected her to shout it from the roof tops what they're doing but why not just keep quiet and live your life.

OP posts:
Report
TippyTinkleTrousers · 24/06/2017 16:35

How does it harm them?

For example, would it harm them more than alcohol?
If so, how?

Report
IHateUncleJamie · 24/06/2017 16:36

Does the rented house have neighbours? If so, I'd put an anonymous call into Crimestoppers. If your sister suspects you, I would play dumb and say it's more likely the neighbours have felt excessive heat coming through the walls.

To all those people who think this is fine and dandy, you do know it's against the law? Biscuit

Report
HundredMilesAnHour · 24/06/2017 16:37

I'm sorry but I wouldn't be able to keep quiet about something so serious, sister or not.

Report
Redsippycup · 24/06/2017 16:38

When you say she is renting it from a friend - is it the friend that owns the house or is she subletting from him?

I would be inclined to tell the landlord at the very least I think, there is probably all sorts of damage to the property going on.

It really isn't a victimless crime - not at that level of production. It's very often tied up in all sorts of other organised crime.

Report
quizqueen · 24/06/2017 16:40

If it's illegal then you need to report it to whichever authority is best to deal with it- Police/Social Services/Benefit Office/Home Office.

Report
PennandPeg · 24/06/2017 16:41

Tippy what is wrong with you? Alcohol whilst potentially addictive isn't illegal. You're missing my point though. Whilst I'm angry about them selling it to people, potentially kids, I'm also equally angry about the fact i, along with most of our family, have been deceived for the last couple of years. Of course I wouldn't have expected her to tell me or our parents what she's been up to but then to go to the extreme of creating such lies about her life is well out of order.

OP posts:
Report
provider5sectorzz9 · 24/06/2017 16:41

I'd keep right out of it, plausible deniability and all that

Report
PennandPeg · 24/06/2017 16:43

The friend she rents from owns the house but has bought another property and as she was unable to sell it she decided to offer it to my sister short term.

OP posts:
Report
IHateUncleJamie · 24/06/2017 16:44

I'd report it. No way would I want that on my mind all the time.

Report
jesterwaves · 24/06/2017 16:45

Just report it op. I know someone who grows hydroponics too. It's a grubby little world.

Report
vikingprincess81 · 24/06/2017 16:45

Sooo - does the landlord know what's going on in their house? I'm guessing no?
I'd be livid if my tenants were using my place as a grow house. Not even necessarily because of what they're growing, but also due to potential damage/fire issues/ bringing me to the cop's attention if raided etc etc...

Report
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 24/06/2017 16:46

My bet is she is a dealer

Can you slow down your relationship with her and focus on the kids a bit

Really there is very little you can do as she won't change OP

Report
ParadiseCity · 24/06/2017 16:47

I would report to crimestoppers.I loathe and detest drug dealers.

Report
PennandPeg · 24/06/2017 16:48

That was my plan in the beginning but the more it goes on the more it's passing me off. I love my sister but I love my parents more. They are decent honest hard working people and they'd be devastated if they knew the truth. In fact if it wasn't for my parents I'd have already called my sister out on it but I know what would happen if I did it now. My sister would make out if was all down to her "ex" and she had nothing to do with it. She would run to our parents make out I was accusing her of something she hasn't done and my parents would be torn over who to believe. Or should I say they would most definitely believe me as they know how honest I am and how I feel about lying, but they'd still side with my sister. I can't figure out what it is but my sister has some sort of home over them. I don't know what exactly but I know there's something.

OP posts:
Report
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 24/06/2017 16:50

Ah I was right

You can't do Much - it's grubby and she will get caught eventually anyway . Just keep a close eye on the kids

Report
IHateUncleJamie · 24/06/2017 16:50

So don't tell your parents, just report it anonymously.

Report
EezerGoode · 24/06/2017 16:51

Your just as bad if you do nothing..you need to anonymously report it...plus nspcc,as they need their parenting skills looked at..you can't be a drug dealer and a good parent.the two don't go together

Report
Namechange2837 · 24/06/2017 16:51

God leave her to it, it really isn't the worst thing in the world and maybe it's her only means of providing for her kids.
As if people are actually suggesting reporting her own sister!!! How will that help her kids?! She'll have a criminal record at the very least, struggle for money and potentially be facing jail time. OP claims she cares about the kids, so how would that help them?!

Report
provider5sectorzz9 · 24/06/2017 16:51

Just report it op. I know someone who grows hydroponics too
presume you reported them Jester?
did they get fined? Jailed?

Report
Namechange2837 · 24/06/2017 16:52

If you really can't bare her lying to you, just tell her you know. What's the big deal?

Report
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 24/06/2017 16:53

Your just as bad if you do nothing

No . She is growing weed not running a sex slave trafficking unit here . It's not great and not ideal but she will get caught eventually anyway . And the option of having her kids in care or lumbered on the GP is far far worse than a few bags of weed IMO

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

PennandPeg · 24/06/2017 16:54

The house my sister rents off her friend isn't were it is being grown. Her "ex" rents another house and grows it there. I've no idea who the lanlord is there and whether he/she knows what's going on but my guess is they don't.

OP posts:
Report
Namechange2837 · 24/06/2017 16:56

Her "ex" rents another house and grows it there. - so it's your sisters ex/current bf then? God just stay out of it. Sounds like you're loving the drama

Report
TippyTinkleTrousers · 24/06/2017 17:00

Tippy what is wrong with you? Alcohol whilst potentially addictive isn't illegal. You're missing my point though.

There was absolutely no reason to be so rude.
You missed MY point. I was asking about the harm, not about the legalities.

But you mention the 'awful deception' of your parents. And? Seriously what benefit will anyone get if your parents know?
Who will benefit from that?
Or rather, who would suffer for it?

Your parents I'm guessing.

You're issue doesn't seem to be with the shock horror the illegalities of this situation but of the fact that she isn't the shiney princess that your parents think she is and that pisses you off.

That is what screams from your posts.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.