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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think DH may be having an affair??

586 replies

Autvet · 22/06/2017 19:46

Asking because I can't get my head round this.... please help!! DH works away a lot, nice hotels etc ... emptying his trousers for washing this evening ( yep I'm living the dream) & found his room paper key for yesterday's hotel stay - no of people on room is 2 confused.... he called me to say hi last night but from the hotel gardens as reception 'awful' in hotel room.... am I being suspicious or is it deserved?? Really want to call hotel as I've kept room key etc but how can I find out how many people stayed etc etc ?? Any ideas ?? sad

OP posts:
Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:31

ClopySow

I was joking about his wife Clopy, please do stay out of it!

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:32

Blunt - no they can't have them sent to mobiles, but you can keep thinking they can if you want.

Roomster101 · 23/06/2017 11:32

Some employers don't let employee's access information via their phone but many including the NHS do so it is not true to state that none has confidential information on their phone.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 23/06/2017 11:32

He wasn't hungry but managed to eat 2 salads and 2 mains.

He's a lying fucker.

Just outright ask him to show him your phone. Don't give him a chance to run to the loo and delete everything. If he doesn't give you it there or then, you have your answer.

Me and DP have the same passcode, leave our phones around, answer or send reply texts on each other's phone if one of us is busy.

OnionKnight · 23/06/2017 11:34

Onion - it is annoying isn't it, even in this day and age I can not access my work emails when I am out. Security is more important of course, but I have my doubts about even the 'secure' server if I am honest, quite apart from the lack of investment...

I don't mind, otherwise I'd spend half my weekend responding to emails.

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:34

Roomster - I dont work for the NHS so I dont know what their policy is, so can't comment.

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:34

Onion - well that is true, there is an upside :)

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:34

Onion - and not to mention holidays as well

Roomster101 · 23/06/2017 11:36

Ilovemybabygirls I didn't say that you did work for the NHS.

WarriorsDance · 23/06/2017 11:36

He didn't eat 2 salads and 2 mains Confused The salads were the mains, irrespective of whether he ate both of them.

Sallystyle · 23/06/2017 11:37

This thread has turned really unhelpful to the OP hasn't it?

ClopySow · 23/06/2017 11:38

I was joking about his wife Clopy, please do stay out of it

Em...no?

You seem to have appointed yourself the boss of the thread. You're not.

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:38

Roomster - I can only comment that we do not get emails on our mobiles and are unlikely ever to in the future.

We deviate from the real conversation, and that is that there is no word at all from op :(

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:39

Clopy - we are discussing privacy - there is no 'boss' unless you want to be one?

Roomster101 · 23/06/2017 11:47

Roomster - I can only comment that we do not get emails on our mobiles and are unlikely ever to in the future.

Yes, you can only comment on your own situation and know nothing about other people's. That is why your assertion nobody has any confidential information on their phone is so ridiculous.

Tumblethumps · 23/06/2017 11:59

What a load of old tit for tat bollocks this thread has become.
I'm not sure I needed to read 5 pages only 1 of which features the OP, the other 4 being just back and forth nonsense between a few posters.

The 2 salads is suspect. It's ridiculous to suggest otherwise especially as he told her he wasn't hungry.

The OP has snooped; not for the original room keycard as she was simply emptying his pockets to do s wash but her subsequent delving deeper. The burning question is; is she someone who is just prone to snooping due to general nosiness or huge baseless insecurities or is she someone who started off reasonable, rational and trusting but has slowly drifted towards snooping because her partner's behaviour has led her there over many years of little things that don't quite add up coupled with a tendency towards reacting with anger when she asks him anything. She hasn't posted enough info to judge either way.

But from my POV, if DH was arousing my suspicions to such an extent that I felt the need to snoop then I'd feel my marriage was over anyway. There's nothing if there's not trust.

Op, good luck. I hope you get the answers you need.

kmc1111 · 23/06/2017 12:01

At the moment on my phone I have very sensitive messages from one friend about a sexual assault she experienced and an abortion she's recently had, I have pictures of another friends breasts (just had a boob job, was freaking out about normal swelling), and I have lot's of messages about presents for my DH's upcoming birthday. Also many less notable private convo's that are nonetheless private eg. my friends wouldn't have had these conversations with me if DH or another friend was listening in.

On the work side I have a whole bunch of info that could be used for insider trading and corporate espionage. Giving out my password or handing my phone over to anyone would result in instant firing if my work ever found out. Now obviously I don't think my DH is going to start snapping up shares or shopping secrets, but the scope of my work is pretty broad and I do think it's possible he could tell someone something interesting he shouldn't, forgetting where he found it out.

Even without the work stuff there's no way I'd give DH access to my phone. I have nothing to hide from him, but irregardless I like my privacy and my friends private lives are certainly none of his business. Anyway, the only reason he'd ever want it is to check up on me (he has his own phone, the landline and his laptop always close by and his phone takes like 20 seconds to go from dead battery to usable) and if we ever got to that point I'd rather just end it.

MiddleClassProblem · 23/06/2017 12:10

What a surprise. Fine for 2 hours and Ilovemybabygirls is still picking other people apart and talk about themselves for 5 page, then claiming to focus on the OP. Sorry, love everyone can read. Some people don't/can't let their partners see their phone, some people do/can. Got it? Next...

TipTopTipTopClop · 23/06/2017 12:19

I think 2 salads is suspect. Sorry.

CremeFresh · 23/06/2017 12:26

Ok not sure the Op will return - I don't blame her .

wherearemymarbles · 23/06/2017 12:31

I think a whole new thread is required for a do we / don't we share our passwords as the last dozen pages have been largly irrelevant infantile squabbling.

Op, only you know if he lost his usual composure. And if he would eat 2 salads. No idea why he needs to tell you he is in the garden though.

SofaToad · 23/06/2017 12:34

About the salads - I once ordered a 'House' salad in a hotel. It was good. I ordered another one.
Sometimes you don't realise how hungry you are until you start eating.

However, is there any way of finding out/working out if they were both ordered at the same time or one after the other.

I have also been out with someone who has ordered a savoury starter after a main course. People will sometimes order against the 'rules'.

ambereeree · 23/06/2017 12:41

He could have been eating with a colleague?

littlebird7 · 23/06/2017 13:01

At least the Op has a lot of support. Huge thread.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 23/06/2017 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.