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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think DH may be having an affair??

586 replies

Autvet · 22/06/2017 19:46

Asking because I can't get my head round this.... please help!! DH works away a lot, nice hotels etc ... emptying his trousers for washing this evening ( yep I'm living the dream) & found his room paper key for yesterday's hotel stay - no of people on room is 2 confused.... he called me to say hi last night but from the hotel gardens as reception 'awful' in hotel room.... am I being suspicious or is it deserved?? Really want to call hotel as I've kept room key etc but how can I find out how many people stayed etc etc ?? Any ideas ?? sad

OP posts:
Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:04

Blunt - I can assure you I am not making it up, but obv can not go into details of my job on here, we have a secure email address and we have no means to access this by mobile or other ways for reasons of security.

If you knew what I did you would prob understand why, and it is very important that the emails can not be seen and we have to swear on oath to this effect.
My Dh and I have a very relaxed view on mobiles, as do my friends and their families. No great shakes if you are an average person living an average life. I would think if you are massively into privacy you are prob well matched with someone equally as private and vica versa.

I wouldn't find a secretive person very appealing personally, but everyone is different.

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:05

Hilda wow! I would not want people to see my phone either in your case :)

MrsD79 · 23/06/2017 11:06

Call the hotel but be prepared for the worst. Anything else is a bonus. Say something like i was in blah blah room and i left xyz. They will either say no as only 1 person was in there or they will say we will check. Hotel's don't care about affairs. In fact thats what keeps them afloat! You may get lucky and get a really nice person on the phone who you can be honest with and say i need to know if my husband was with another bird ... you never know. Good luck. 😕

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:08

I am thinking I need a naked collection of men on my phone, perhaps a bit of alternative porn and some off shore investments in arms so I can be one of the 'privates' and have something worth hiding!! :)

OnionKnight · 23/06/2017 11:08

My messages are full of mine and my friends personal information. My google search makes me look like the biggest weirdo ever

Yup mine too Grin

Going by this thread I can demand my wife's email and Facebook account details etc after all what's the point of being my wife if she won't share Hmm

Yeah, how about no.

PicardsCombOver · 23/06/2017 11:09

Slightly off topic Hilda but the honesty of your post made me smile Smile my Google search history is also a bit worrying if only for its random unrelatedness Grin
Op you've had 6 of one opinion and half a dozen of the other from this thread, it's a horrid situation you're in (speaking from personal experience) I hope you do take the advice from here and get the answer you want - try and get some answers so you can enjoy your children's birthdays Brew

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:09

Now we get to it onion, I knew we would!! :)

Saiman · 23/06/2017 11:10

I dont think people understand what trust is.

Trust is a belief. If it has to be proven its not trust.

If you need access to someones entire life, diary, phone, computer.....you dont trust them.

OnionKnight · 23/06/2017 11:10

Now we get to it onion, I knew we would!! smile

Pardon?

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:12

So you don't your wife discovering you are a weirdo, she knew that when she married you and still loves you anyway :)
and in any case you know she might be pleasantly surprised by your browsing history...it might be the start of a happy new chapter in your marriage, then again it might not...so best stick with the privacy settings and passwords :)

OnionKnight · 23/06/2017 11:14

So you don't your wife discovering you are a weirdo, she knew that when she married you and still loves you anyway smile
and in any case you know she might be pleasantly surprised by your browsing history...it might be the start of a happy new chapter in your marriage, then again it might not...so best stick with the privacy settings and passwords smile

Are you okay?

You sound like you have a hard on for me Hmm

Either way, you are making yourself look stupid.

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:15

A message to OP - the thread has been chatting about privacy settings in your absence. I mainly think people are on here to find out how you are getting on and if you are okay..

Do hope you have some good news in due course and it is just a misunderstanding. Hope no news is good news in your case.

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:15

Onion Seriously? I think you need help. Or a job.

OnionKnight · 23/06/2017 11:16

Onion Seriously? I think you need help. Or a job.

Look who's talking.

Bluntness100 · 23/06/2017 11:20

Blunt - I can assure you I am not making it up, but obv can not go into details of my job on here, we have a secure email address and we have no means to access this by mobile or other ways for reasons of security

Then your company needs to invest in technology. I can absolutely assure you that you can have secure emails sent to your phone. Genuinely are you under the impression that people who work with confidential information can only get it on a computer? You think the head of m16 or the Home Secretary has to pop into the office and log on?

Anyways the discussion is not about your partener wanting to randomly borrow your phone in an emergency, it's about your partner wanting access to your phone so they can check your logs to ensure you are not lying to them and doing something dodgy. That's what's not ok in my book.

MrsBen88 · 23/06/2017 11:21

Call the hotel but be prepared for the worst. Anything else is a bonus. Say something like i was in blah blah room and i left xyz. They will either say no as only 1 person was in there or they will say we will check. Hotel's don't care about affairs. In fact thats what keeps them afloat! You may get lucky and get a really nice person on the phone who you can be honest with and say i need to know if my husband was with another bird ... you never know. Good luck. 😕

Yeah none of that's true. If you say you've left something they first thing they'd do is check lost property. Unless you call within a few hours of departure you can assume the room's already been cleaned. If the hotel tell you your husband was with another person it's a huge data protection breach and would cause all kinds of trouble. You're really not allowed to give that kind of information out over the phone. Also - that poor receptionist would likely get the sack.

TL:DR - don't bother with the hotel. They can't tell you anything.

ClopySow · 23/06/2017 11:22

Ilovemybabygirls

Don't you think you should focus on the op instead of posters who disagree with you?

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:25

Blunt - We have had our budgets slashed by millions, the secure emails have only just been launched (I am serious) do you really think we will ever get access by mobiles? I think not in this century. In addition to that I am not even sure the 'secure' server is that secure given what happened to the NHS a few weeks ago.

Would I care if dh wanted to check my phone, not really, but accept it is our choice and our phone and our lives we choose to share (or not share) so we agree on that.

TipTopTipTopClop · 23/06/2017 11:25

Blunt - I can assure you I am not making it up, but obv can not go into details of my job on here, we have a secure email address and we have no means to access this by mobile or other ways for reasons of security

Then your company needs to invest in technology. I can absolutely assure you that you can have secure emails sent to your phone. Genuinely are you under the impression that people who work with confidential information can only get it on a computer? You think the head of m16 or the Home Secretary has to pop into the office and log on?

This is sort of my area of work and it's true that you can install VPNS, encryption etc to ensure secure devices but it doesn't mean that the security people will be comfortable with compliance outside of a secure building. So what the PP says is not ridiculous.

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:26

ClopySow

Please see my second to last post.

OnionKnight · 23/06/2017 11:27

Actually there is one thing I agree with Ilove on, there are employers who still don't let their employees access email via phone, mine is one of them.

WarriorsDance · 23/06/2017 11:27

@ilovemybabygirls What exactly do you have against Onion that you are trolling them and attributing other poster's words to them Confused

ClopySow · 23/06/2017 11:28

What, this one?

Onion Seriously? I think you need help. Or a job

Ilovemybabygirls · 23/06/2017 11:30

Onion - it is annoying isn't it, even in this day and age I can not access my work emails when I am out. Security is more important of course, but I have my doubts about even the 'secure' server if I am honest, quite apart from the lack of investment...

Bluntness100 · 23/06/2017 11:31

Fgs, it totally is ridiculous to write that people do not get confidential emails sent to their mobile phones. I can assure you they do. Absolutely.