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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to have DS's known as name at school as 'Bear'?

161 replies

JacobLuke · 21/06/2017 21:00

DS is called Jacob. He always got called Bear Cub (ending of Jacob is a bit like cub) and now just Bear really. He goes by Bear at swimming Blush

WIBU?

OP posts:
SamoyedSam · 23/06/2017 04:44

@emmyrose2000 Interesting that you think "moron" is a "very mild term where I am"...the location in which you live doesn't change the meaning of a word; in this case it just means that YOU personally don't know the roots or implication of the term! Hmm
"Moron" is frowned upon because it was originally used to refer to someone with an intellectual or learning disability, and so using it as a flippant insult is considered offensive. So probably best to steer clear of it, especially on a forum where folk may have kids with SEN.
HTH!

WarriorsDance · 23/06/2017 07:53

@emmy

(apologies for it being a Wiki link)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moron_(psychology)

Somerville · 23/06/2017 08:06

OP You should let your son decide. Names are an important part of our identity, and if he feels more 'Bear' than 'Jacob' then he might prefer everyone at school calls him that. Going from my 10 YO's class, Bear would be far from the most outlandish name in the room.

I'm always called something other than my legal first name. It stuck in small childhood, and I preferred it. Hasn't been a problem in my life, except in schools that didn't allow a preferred name, where I'd accidentally not answer to my legal name.

SamoyedSam · 23/06/2017 11:10

@Somerville this!!!

WellThisIsShit · 23/06/2017 16:20

I ended up answering to my sisters name at school, as well as my own. For some reason teachers couldn't tell the difference (even though we had different colour skin for goodness sake! Not to mention the dramatically different length hair and two years apart! I didn't mind that much, just rolled eyes and laughed about it at home.

You get used to answering to a whole variety of names as long as you hear them often enough!

The ultimate irony is that she changed her name when she went to uni (a very different sounding derivative of her name, which doesn't have even 1 letter the same as her usual nicknames growing up!). So I was being called 'her' name at school when she wasn't being called that name herself! Ah legacies... :)

My son has a first name which he definitely recognizes as his own, though we don't use it day to day. We use his second name which is the western version of his non-western first name. It ended up that way due to stbxh family getting very upset and demanding about names when DS was born.

We settled on this way round it all, and still have lovely names for DS and he will have scope to decide what he wants to be called as he grows up. His first name crops up on registers and work books from time to time, but as people can't pronounce it properly anyway, he doesn't get shouted at for not answering to whatever random sounds people put together!

I think your answer lies in how you use the names... is Bear a family term of endearment? A baby name? An informal nick name? Or a proper name in its own right?

If it's more of a term of endearment than a proper name, then perhaps keep it as such. If it's become a proper name then maybe you should continue this usage in school too?

Will your DS answer to Jacob? Or will it feel a bit alien to him? If so I'd suggest a name that he really feels is 'him'.

Good luck deciding! And remember that although people have very strong opinions about names, it is your decision and for you to do your best for your son.

MrsOverTheRoad · 24/06/2017 00:10

Well my DDs school had this issue! There's 4 years between them! How can anyone mistake a scrawny 8 year old for a 12 year old is beyond me!

I went in and said it wasn't good enough and to stop it immediately.

My poor younger DD wanted her own name!

ScarletSienna · 24/06/2017 00:26

I know a few Bears! Actual names rather than nn. Also a Tigs, Fox, Wolf, Kitty, Hunter and a Gruffalo. Ok not a Gruffalo but it's only a matter of time.

None make my eyebrows even twitch these days. I'd let him choose.

ScarletSienna · 24/06/2017 00:35

Oh and a Storm and Raven. I used to be sniffy about these sorts of names but less so now there are so many!

TheFatOfTheLand · 24/06/2017 00:38

Kitty and Hunter are fairly normal but Fox and Tigs? Confused

ScarletSienna · 24/06/2017 00:54

Yeah-see why Bear seems less out there? Grin Colour names are becoming more popular too and not just Scarlet and Sienna!

pilotswife · 24/06/2017 01:05

Bear is gorgeous - if he wants to be called that go for it.

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