WIBU to have DS's known as name at school as 'Bear'?

[JacobLuke]

DS is called Jacob. He always got called Bear Cub (ending of Jacob is a bit like cub) and now just Bear really. He goes by Bear at swimming

WIBU?

And John in heterosexual slang means a man who visits prostitutes

It also means a toilet in America. God help you if your surname is Thomas ...

I wasn't insinuating that you can't call someone Bear just because it means a hairy athletic type in gay slang, it was just that the 'hairy teen' comment reminded me of an earlier pp's comment about it

I think it's far more likely kids will do the 'Pooh' association with the name Bear rather than the gay slang one!

That's a relief,Warriors, I thought your kids were way more advanced than mine! Though I don't think pooh Bear would be high on their list of associations, either.

@phoolani My children are in their 20's now so they may well know the gay slang but are more likely to go with the Pooh association because they loved the books when younger :) Children these days are probably into more modern literature

My son has had a nickname from being three days old. It got to the point where he'd only answer to his nickname and not his actual name when he was smaller so as a family we made an effort to use his actual name. He's 4 and at nursery but I don't think they're even aware of his nickname tbh. Close family still use it. His dad and I do so daily. It's part of him now.

I'd say pet names are for family and closest friends. School might need to be aware your DC is known as "Diddums" (or whatever), but asking for your child to be called that (which is what you'd be doing ) is VERY pfb.

I'd say my DD's pet name is like a secret code.... only those who know and love her best get to hear about it, and only DH and I get to use it.

It's lovely to have a pet name, but they're like zombies... you HAVE to invite them in. Don't put them 'out there' for the world. They're too special for that!

I always thought the "known as" box was for people who use their middle names, or people who use a shortened or anglicized version of their first names. Not for family nicknames

Storminateapot,

You mentioned "Ping" as a nickname: just out of curiosity, are you an Ed Reardon fan?!

I have a family nick name that close friends also use. I use proper name at work. I differentiate between people who know and use my nick name and people who only use my proper name.
Except that there are now friends who know me by my proper name who are as close as my nick name friends.

They can call me what they like.

Real name for school, nickname for friends and family.

Nicknames can cause real problems later on in school on official stuff - gcse entries to.

Couple it with a change of surname in a large school and you've got problems with sets, options lists etc etc.

Some staff will know but it'll be Sod's law that when it matters the staff dealing with matters don't know.

I never used nicknames - I was their teacher, not their mate.

For everyone who says ask him - I think a 5 year old is not capable of understanding that this has an impact later down the line. You are his parent and the best person to decide.

If it was me I would register him as Jacob - school is a formal setting (ish) and so it shouldn't be his nick name. His friends and family can all call him what they like and if when he's older he wants to use Bear has his name he can choose to.

If you are a rugged adventurous sort who lives in the woods then Bear is a great name.
A pre schooler who can't tie their own laces, not so much.

I doubt the teachers at Eton called Bear Grylls "Bear" more likely his surname or Edward.

Reading this with interest as my "Bear" is 9yo. He answers to it readily at home and will use it for preference when talking to DC3(3) eg "do you want to come with Bear-Bear?" BUT for the last year or so we are under strict instructions not to use it in front of his friends. On those grounds I'm glad his nursery/school/club forms have always had his real first name on (not Edward or Jacob fwiw).

However, DC3 is so very known by his nickname that people forget his real name, or are surprised when they hear it. Preschool are fastidious about labelling his peg/paperwork/drawings with his real name, but address him by his nickname and real name interchangeably because that's what he prefers. All the children call him by his nickname.

This thread has been really interesting for me because we have been wondering vaguely what to do about his school forms next year. Typically 20 of the preschool class goes up into the Reception class and stay intact as a cohort until Y6, and it's the kind of small school where he's already known to half the children (by his nickname) higher up the school - not to mention the staff who have known him since birth. A consideration is that his full name had a spike in popularity that year so he will be one of at least two and possibly four (depending on how oversubscribed). Would it be better to be Jacob H or Bear?

Interesting, OP. I can see both sides and am no further along!

He goes by Bear at swimming - which isn't the same formal environment that school is. Surely anyone can see that calling a child by a pet name is massive overfamiliar for a teacher?

D's goes by Panda everywhere, except by one set of GP's. He has his real name on the register, but from day 2 at school he was back to Panda.

Why?

Panda 😂 this thread is getting ridiculous as are he names 😂

Personally I wouldn't want my child to be known as Bear because of that godawful bloke who was on Cleb BB last year (the straw that broke the camel's back and has made me never watch again!)

I think children are well able to understand that nicknames are fine at home and among friends, but you also have a more formal official name.

It's fine to ask the teacher I guess, but she might say she doesn't want a class full of kids using alternate names - she/he might find it a bit tedious to have to remember that the kids have a proper name but prefer to be called Princess, Bun Bun, Twinkle, Flouncypants or Aardvark.

I'd leave him to let his friends know his nickname if he wants to.

allthebest but at least that guy on CBB had a reason for using bear, it's his surname. Stephen Bear is his real name if I remember right.

I find bear as a cute family nickname not something for in school. I doubt Cheryl and Liams son will like his name when he is older " bear grey Payne "

YABU

It's a ridiculous idea. If I heard a child being referred to as Bear at school I'd assume it was his real name - and that his parents were morons for giving him such a stupid name. If I found out it was a nickname that his parents expected everyone to use, I'd think they were morons and very precious.

but we are asked if they have a preferred name to go by
IME, that's for something like Kathryn/Katie, Elizabeth/Betty, Anna-Maria/Annie, David/Dave Jacob/Jake. Not Jacob/Bear, Molly/Twinkletoes

Emmy you are terribly rude. No need to be so venomous. "Moron" is a word which is frowned upon here and for good reasons.

Personally I'd prefer to talk to someone like the OP rather than judgmental people like you who use outmoded and offensive language.

Yeah, it's all a bit laboured though isn't it? Jacob -> Cub -> Bear Cub -> Bear, seems like you think it's cooler/cuter/cleverer than it actually is. However if that's what you, and more importantly, DS want go for it, justdon't subject the poor teacher to that long-winded word association thingy.

I think YABU, he'll most likely regret being known as Bear in five years. Use it at home, he will tell you went to stop (if ever).

I'm glad I wasn't known at school by my (ridiculous) pet name. Although sometimes even now (50 odd years old) my siblings still call me it. It's not endearing.

And Jacob is such a gorgeous name.

As for the PP calling you a moron, honestly you need to think more before you type - dreadful behaviour.

I agree with @Pigface1. It makes me think of gay slang, which could make his teenage years tougher than they need to be (especially if there is any sense at the time of struggling with his sexuality).

I actually think it's quite cute and there are much worse names and nicknames out there. However, the above alone would make me cautious.

MrsOverTheRoad lol. It's okay for people here to be called fuckheads, cunts and other terms, but moron upsets you. Okay then. It's a very mild term where I am and I'd rather be called that than a bitch/cunt/fuckwit or any of the other delightful terms posters here regularly use.