WIBU to have DS's known as name at school as 'Bear'?

[JacobLuke]

DS is called Jacob. He always got called Bear Cub (ending of Jacob is a bit like cub) and now just Bear really. He goes by Bear at swimming

WIBU?

My brother was known by a name that wasn't really his...and this was back in the 70s! His real name was something like John but he'd always been called something like Cecil...and it carried into school.

I don't think there's anything wrong with using a nickname at school, but formal forms should have formal names.

Just mention it to his teacher at the start of the year, and tell him that if his prefers Bear, he should introduce himself to the other children himself as such.

It seems more like a nickname for a friend, I imagine some teachers won't want to refer to him by his baby nickname.

We have pet names for the kids - that's between family and them - their friends call them their name or a short version or some other jock names - as a 'belonging' too

Start calling him his name - with pet name for special family

What a ridiculous idea. If he likes it that much, and so do you then go down the legal route and change it.

It's not his name 😕

Went to school with an Elizabeth who was known as Buffy because it was her at-home nickname and was what she'd respond to. She's stayed Buffy into adulthood.
Bear's become, if not mainstream, then at least recognised as a name, so why not?

It isn't really a nickname though is it? It's a cutesy term of endearment which is find between parents and young children, but beyond that not really appropriate. It would be different if his name was Peter and he was known Pete or Philip known as Phil. Bear is not a diminutive of Jacob. My sister was called 'Tucker' by my parents (after the singer Sophie Tucker) but was known as Sophie at school/brownies/swimming. She got her head around the idea that a term of endearment was used by her family and her proper name was used by those she didn't have such a close relationship with.

There's been people on here using childish terms of endearment into their professional adult lives and it always seems a bit like a case of arrested development, one woman wanted to be known as 'Curly' by her colleagues and was aghast that it wasn't considered professional. Plus adult men who introduce themselves to strangers using their teenage nickname, like Whitey,. Smithy or Jonesy. Fair enough if people who knew you as a teenager still call you that, but if a grown man in his 50s introduces himself to me as Jonesy, my first thought is you're not fully functioning as an adult and haven't moved on from your teenage years. They almost always confirm this Impression.

My DS is largely referred to as Mr Pickle at home. I was not aware I should be letting nursery know before her starts - how naive of me...

OP, you clearly have already decided - why even come on AIBU?

Fair enough if people who knew you as a teenager still call you that, but if a grown man in his 50s introduces himself to me as Jonesy, my first thought is you're not fully functioning as an adult and haven't moved on from your teenage years. They almost always confirm this Impression.

^this.

There was a boy in my dd's nursery school who went by a nickname. We didn't know it was a nickname.
When dd started in reception. He was the only other child from the nursery that was going to the same school as dd.

On dd's first day. She was asked " are you friends with "john"?. Would you like "John" to be in your group"?
Dd said no because she didn't know who "John" was
She was gutted "John" wasn't in her group and didn't know anyone in her group for the 1st few days of school.
Poor "John" was also gutted. They wasn't even in school at the same time for the 1st few weeks.

I'm sorry for being so grumpy!!

I do see what you mean and I'm laughing because all I keep doing is defending what your saying yet I did ask

Fair enough, he's registered as Jacob anyway but we are asked if they have a preferred name to go by so it got me thinking.

I guess when he moves up to the other swim group I'll encourage him to use Jacob.

OP, you clearly have already decided - why even come on AIBU?

Because she likes to see MNers lose their shit? What's wrong with Bear? If he wants to be called Bear, why not? It's his choice, surely?

Yanbu.
Bear Grylls has made the name mainstream to kids' ears.
Might not suit a teen who's hairier than his peers but at primary school it'll be fine imo unless you have a surname that makes it a funny name . Bear Hug, Bear Bare etc

JacobLuke

@blueandgreenand he likes it and asked his swimming teacher to use it

I'm not sure what your face was for. Are you able to read and understand what I wrote?

HE HAS A FUCKING SWIMMING TEACHER; HE'S NOT ADVISING THE UN IS HE?. I didn't care about my dumb nickname as a child at school. It mattered when I was older and wanted to shift it - it's well nigh impossible or at least very difficult.

Doesn't matter whether he likes it does it? Plenty of kids like eating ice cream and would eat it 24/7. That wasn't your question. Your question was should you encourage his school to let him be known by his twatty nickname.

NO. You are setting him up for a life long problem.
Plenty of kids

@blueandgreenand erm I think you're a bit over invested?

His twatty nickname? Jeezus. Calm down.

Bear Grylls has made the name mainstream to kids' ears.

Not his real me, but he's posh so can get away with it.

At my school anyone who introduced themselves as 'Bear' on the basis it was a cutesy-pie childhood nickname would have had the intervening 5 years getting their head kicked in.

Even so when I hear Bear Grylls name, I'm put in mind of ruggedly masculine and hairy gay men who run a steak restaurant.

Might not suit a teen who's hairier than his peers

.. which takes us back to an earlier comment about what 'Bear' means in gay slang

I love Bear & knew a Bear at school. If he likes it let him go by the name. Not sure what everyone's problem is OP x

Are you an aristocrat? It seems perfectly acceptable for adults of that ilk to be known as Ping, Bubble, Binky, Piggy etc. Maybe we should all just chill out

Why would anybody know it was a 'cutesy-pie nickname'? As opposed to just a name he was known by by all his peers? None of whom will demand to see his birth certificate, but will just know him as Bear. My granddad was known amongst family and friends as his middle name, at work by his first name. Nobody interrogated him about it or demanded to know if in fact both were his 'real name'. Bear is common enough now to be considered just a name.

And John in heterosexual slang means a man who visits prostitutes. So? Can't we call anyone John anymore?

@blueandgreenand erm I think you're a bit over invested?

No. Just irritated by you and your unwarranted face to a legitimate response. You obviously only want to hear people agreeing with you. That's your call but if you post on a public forum you must realise people will disagree with you and take exception to your patronising little face manner.

@blueandgreenand you do realise this isn't your kid and you don't need to be so upset over something on a public forum