What are some parents thinking

[sonlypuppyfat]

Well I don't know if I'm brave enough for this but, today a really hot day DD yr 7 went on a school trip. It was a walking trip, up hills etc for geography. They didn't have to wear school uniform but old clothes they didn't mind spoiling, DD wore a white t shirt grey leggings and a white cap. Lots of her friends were in black jeans and black tops one girl even had a black cardi on. Also DD had to give her sun block out to loads of her friends who were getting sunburn, why we're so many of the children so unprepared for the weather?

For either colour clothing to work effectively the clothing has to be loose
That's why close fitting vest tops are a bad idea in hot weather.
Loose and floaty is the way to go.

Black and fluffy/loose fitting clothing is best if it is hot out and there is any (>3m/s) wind. The black clothing absorbs both solar radiation and radiation from the body. The air in the immediate vicinity is heated, then efficiently transported away by the wind. This is slightly better than white fluffy/loose fitting clothing, which reflects more sunlight and radiation from the body. The emission from the body is reflected, so it cannot heat the air near the clothing as efficiently and have a chance to be transported away.

Tight black clothing is a terrible idea if trying to stay cool, regardless of windspeed.

^If there is no wind (

ds is year 9, and was out an about on a field trip yesterday.

we had a conversation in the morning about wearing suncream. I got The Look.
Then we had one about wearing a hat, I got The Look again.

he is a red head, he was brought up wearig sun cream every sunny day until he was about 10 and started to protest. Has had a pink face on and off for 2 weeks, he refuses to wear any cream. We have talked about skin cancer etc.

In year 7, I would have pinned him down and put it on his face and ears. He would have spent the whole walk to school rubbing it off.

I can't do that any more as he is taller than me. I don't actually think that he is old enough to understand the decision he is making, but at some point you have to let go.

With clothes, I would have calmly said why black was a stupid thing to to wear, and then he would either have got hot, or changed. Sometimes they have to leran the hard way

My DCs are Y8 and Y10. When they have a school activity coming up, we will chat about what they are doing and check the weather forecast, and discuss between us what would be suitable. I don't order them to wear anything in particular, and they suggest what they think would be appropriate. No arguing

Exactly. I wouldn't go to the 'you must wear item x and item y' extreme, but general chat about 'it will be the kind of day for wearing a T-shirt but taking a long sleeved top would be wise, both for sun and wind protection' would be the norm.

dd1 on the other hand, would always choose the sensible/practical option and put suncream on without trouble.

I remember being this age and the importance of what to wear on mufti days/trips. I didn't have many clothes but woe betide anyone who wore the same clothes twice in a row. Also the problem with white t shirts showing whether or not you had a bra/crop top on. After all that angst I don't think the weather was a factor at all in choice of clothing!!

My DD by 10, only had black, purple and the odd red clothes, she now throws grey into the mix at 19, but has dropped the red.

If I'd have insisted on putting her in a colour, she would rather not go.

Seeming as most work uniforms fit in with this, I never tried to make her change.

I never had a problem with sunscreen because she values her paleness.

I think there is something to be said for backing away before it's a full blown argument and letting them learn by their mistakes.

My DCs are Y8 and Y10. When they have a school activity coming up, we will chat about what they are doing and check the weather forecast, and discuss between us what would be suitable. I don't order them to wear anything in particular, and they suggest what they think would be appropriate. No arguing

What a pair of saints with a saintly mother into the bargain.

Dd wears black, black and more black, with possibly a slight hint of dark grey to be really radical. If we looked at the weather forecast together and I suggested a nice suitable sunhat... ha ha ha ha.

mrswire that is telling of your parenting!

My 11 year old insists on having her arms and legs covered. If I give her a short sleeved t shirt to wear, she'll put on a hoody and won't take it off all day. I've no idea why. She's always been like this. She's the only one who's never lost a cardigan at school because she will not take it off. Sometimes one of the more determined TAs has managed to wrestle it off her.

With suncream - she still fights me putting it on. She hates it. I put it on nonetheless but the chances of her reapplying it herself are nil.

She has never got sunburn - she's too covered up with clothes. But she has had heatstroke a few times.

She has a wardrobe full of clothes including shorts, t shirts and dresses. But a lot of them get passed on without ever being worn.

When we went abroad on holiday last year - she wore a long sleeved t shirt and leggings in 40 degree heat. It drives me insane. But there's only so much arguing/wrestling you can do with an 11 year old. The arguments I get back are - it's up to me, it's my body, I'm not hot I'm cold. So please don't put all the blame on the parents.

10-13 year olds are the worst judges of appropriate clothing for the temperatures. I remember a lot of coat refusals at -5 degrees and equally jumpers at 30 degrees. Unlike older teens, they will still make the day hell for everyone if they are hot or cold, since they really are still children. So yes, I do step in until I know they are old enough to just take part in the day, even if they are uncomfortable due to unwise clothing choices.

Lady, I suppose i see it as my job to find a sunhat that DS / DD will wear, as part of the 'kitting out for summer' shopping expedition. Yes, it can take FOREVER, but having a hat is not negotiable - finding one they are prepared to wear is where we put the big slog in.

fresta I agree. Some parents just can't parent.

I had to talk to a boy in soft play yesterday because I heard him threaten my 4 year old. He said he would hit her on the head with a tray he'd found. I asked him for the tray and he ran away with it instead of listening to an adult!. What a red flag. That child will become a horrendous teen. When the mother finally came out of hiding her pleading voice for him to go with her was pathetic and made the source of the boy's behaviour apparent. Spineless!!

can'tkeepaway is there no breakfast club you can take them to?

I do agree that it's ridiculous to send the children without suncream. They'll be sweating and wiping their faces and it will need to be reapplied at least once, ideally more frequently. 11 year olds should be encouraged to remember and pack it themselves, but as a parent it's too important not to double-check. That said, we're only human so, in a large year group I wouldn't be surprised if one or two forget theirs, and I would expect my children to share their suncream with any friends that had forgotten theirs.

Regarding the clothes, nothing you have said sounds too bad. I don't think there is any great advantage in wearing white over black, and lots of black 'jeans' are really just glorified leggings. A cardigan can be removed and would be very comfortable on an air conditioned coach/cafe.

Lady Both myself and my DCs are far from saintly so keep your snide comments to yourself.
I wouldn't argue with what colour they were wearing. I simply meant that if the forecast said rain, it would be worth taking a waterproof - although they both have enough commonsense to think of that for them selves if we have looked at the forecast.
And no - neither of them would wear a sun hat - they both might take a baseball cap if I said is was going to be really hot.

No, not now they're both at secondary. At primary, they went to a childminder's from 7.30, who then took them to school. For secondary, they leave the house at 8.15 with friends to walk to school. Haven't had an issue, eldest just taken GCSEs and still standing!

cant - having a hat is not negotiable

That just made me laugh out loud. Ds is 14, he has spiky hair.
Not hat in the universe goes on top of spiky hair. added to that hats are not cool.

There are no hats that ds will wear. Does he need one? Yes, will he wear one? no. I have been fighting this since he was 9/10. At primary he had one, and the school made the wear it, they couldn't go out to play without it, (then it got taken off and chucked on floor) as soon as he left primary school he stopped wearing hats.
he is a red head. he burns and he gets heat stroke. Doesn't make any difference at all, he won't wear a hat.
He is 14

I love people on thsi thread whose teens are so reasonable. They must all have kids like my dd1. Unfortunately I also have ds, who doesn't do reasonable when it coems to clothes.

I refer you all to this thread
reasons my son hates me #326

Seeline - absolutely. baseball cap / cricket cap whatever would fit within my definition of 'sunhat'. Though DS did favour, for a couple of years, those old-fashioned wide-brimmed cricket hats usually only seen at Test Matches... odd boy.

What? Inappropriate clothing would have been crop tops & short shorts. Not all 11 year olds possess leggings and, depending on the nature of the geography field trip, jeans may have been more appropriate if they were scrabbling around in the under growth. My teenager has lived in jeans or shorts and any colour T-shirt except white for the last few years. White T shirts are a definite no no as they look grubby so quickly and boys might be able to see through them. Secondary school is the time to step back & stop micro managing.

I was a bit unprepared for the weather on monday, prob because when I get up at 7am it is quite cool and mild!
I know that is stupid!
I tried to persuade my DD to wear tracksuit bottoms to school instead of short shorts as I thought she would be cold on sports day (tends to be more lining up and hanging around than exercise). Did have suncream though.

She went in shorts and then after a scorching hot day mocked me in the evening. It would seem there is little better aged 7 years to be right and mum wrong .

Steppemum, laughing too. DS is defiantly Not Cool (hence cricket hat). DD, on the other hand, has a very , very defined view on how it is acceptable to look. Finding her a hat is a Long Slog with extreme capital letters!

Cantkeepawayforever and pp, I agree completely as this is what happens in our house. My dc are not perfect or unusual as pps have suggested, we have just always chatted about stuff.
My DS1 ( 12 almost 13) will ask what i reckon he should wear for most things , even a party or night out as we both like clothes and enjoy going to buy them etc. He's far taller than me has a size 9 feet and wears a men's medium top due to wide shoulders yet still likes to know my opinion ( except for rugby games, ha!).
I find it pretty easy tbh, are boys easier u reckon? Less social media influence? He doesn't seem to care about what anyone else is wearing. But maybe that has more to do with having a dad ( exh) who is pretty individual in his dress sense ( pink and silver trainers are his favourites, a snake belt - rem those ?!- with a suit). But I digress, is it easier with boys you think?

My experience is that my DS is easier in terms of attitude, and harder in terms of actually buying clothes (He's a stick of bamboo - very long, and so thin that knees / elbows hip bones look like the knobbly joints in bamboo - and needs sizes that aren't made. He also has an exceptionally large head - bought his first adult sized hat when he was 3).

DD is much harder in terms of 'what other people are wearing', but a standard size, so once it has been decided what she needs, getting it is a breeze.

No, boys are not easier - see my previous posts.

In our house it is ds who is the social media addict and who has very clear defined rules about what he will and will not wear. What everyone else is wearing is vitally important, the risk of not looking right/cool etc huge.

We really struggle don Dof E weekend, and he would not wera the cothing prescriibed by Dof E. We had a row in the middle of Go Outdoors over it.
In the end he wore it, the threat was that if he didn't he went without phone, and I kept the phone for a week. Once he got there he was surprised to discover that all the boys were actually wearing the stuff they had been told to wear.

Both dds are much more laid back.

Choose your battles. I am not going to win over a hat, as there is not hat which exists that he will wear, no matter how Long the Slog is.

I agree with you OP. Black absorbs heat, unless you're wearing white underneath. I can't remember the science, but it's true. White reflects the sun, so wearing a white cap is a good idea.

My dd is 11 next year and I would definitely be telling her what to wear at that age. Why would I let her burn in the heat? Same with sunscreen. I'd tell her to take some and wear it. 11 year olds aren't adults; they may want to make their own choices but we're still their parents and are responsible for their welfare!