Ah Shit

[TheSkyisBlueToday]

Inspired by another thread 😅 Have you ever accidentally put your foot in it? Maybe something embarrassing or something you should not have said/done?

Keen to hear your stories!

A client once sent an email to my team, saying they didn't want to pay half the PO in advance, which was the terms of agreement due to third party costs.

I then forward this email to my colleague and wrote "Excellent, we can all stop working now, woo!".

Apart from I didn't did I, I sent that back to the client. Then had to pretend it was a hilarious joke....

In keeping in line with the title of your post, I once typed the word 'shit' into a document, rather than 'shut'. I did actually proofread it, but somehow missed that. Pity my boss didn't miss it when he read it... Luckily he had a sense of humour, so no harm done. But I now make sure to triple check things before passing them on in a professional setting.

The number of times ive ended an email with retards instead of regards. D'oh

I more than once offered my friend a hand with things. .
She had lost a few fingers due to meningitis as a child. .
My exh filled her in once on a night out when he was legless.
She has no legs beneath the knees.
Wished the ground to open. .

On many occasions I have marked up a 'daft' agenda.

I once did Something similar to imadeperfectflapjacks
I asked a colleague in a wheelchair if he had had a go a a running game on the wii
He laughed and said it was great i did not look at him and just see the wheelchair

Aren't you going to share your stories SkyisBlue?

Was talking to our lovely estate agent about my unpleasant neighbour yesterday (there's a thread) and closed the conversation with a cheery "Oh, don't worry - it could be worse. Last time we lived in a flat our neighbour was found dead upstairs after about two weeks. Anyway, you've been so nice about everything - byeeee!"

DH was when I told him.

(It's TRUE though - it did happen, and surely that's worse than a complaining neighbour? DH says I need to think carefully before telling stories like that )

I typed a report about a 'stiff member' as opposed to a staff member - took me years to live it down.

I work with someone with one leg, but as they wear long trousers I never ever notice the artificial leg... anyway we were debating a work issue and I said 'you don't have a leg to stand on with that...' .

I have never been so red.

Luckily he pissed himself laughing about it, and said it's actually nice to be treated as 'whole'

I was teaching a class when a major (political) celebrity was doing a tour.

I was teaching lower ability kids with behavioural needs. The poem was a Carol Ann Duffy one with some pretty full-on sex/violence references. Of course they walk in as students are articulating their initial understanding (!!) in frank and direct language (had they come in later it would be a lot more academic and appropriate in tone).

As a young just turned teen i think, i was trying to explain to my sister what my aunts new "go to" insult was for people that she had been saying all night whilst me and my dad had been visiting.

The term was "bitch tits" and i was obviously not allowed to swear in front of my parents and i was trying to explain this with my dad sat there. I did the whole "You know what the technical term for a female dog is?" and when she said "yeah?" i accidentally blurted out "Well, that with tits after it".

Realised in a split second what i'd just said and did an open mouthed shock gasp, and my dad absolutely exploded with laughter so intense he had to go out into the hall and nearly ended up collapsed on the floor in a fit of laughing.

Apparently it was the look on my face that was so hilarious. It was almost as good as the time we were sat in a restaurant when i was about 9 and were talking about how you could tell my sister was my dads because she had inherited his chin. To which i responded "I don't have the (last name) chin, i've just got five". He choked on his ice cream.

asked my colleague last week if he had any plans for fathers day this year.... he split from his wife in Feb :-(

Posted about it last week - was leaving work and got entangled in the bead curtains that were attached to a cabinet containing many high priced (for a second hand shop) glass items and ended up pulling the cabinet over entirely so it all smashed on the floor. Just wanted to sink into the floor!

I also have a tendency to laugh like a twelve year old at any mention of genitals etc. so when my therapist was doing a mindfulness exercise with me called 'bodyscan' and said the word 'breast' I almost choked trying to keep my giggles contained

My postman looks a bit like DH. Twice I've signed for items and said 'Goodbye...Love you!'.

I hide now when he comes!

In a pub toilet with mil and her sister, id just come out of the cubicle into their conversation, I overheard mil saying how she wanted to loose weight (shes easily a 8-10), so I say Oh there's nothing on you at all, if you want to see fat (turning to her sister, dp's aunt) lets show her ours, pretending to pull up my top.

So whist simultaneously giving mil a compliment I also called her sister fat and her face often comes back to haunt me when im trying to get to sleep, My brain will never forget that image, and the fact she has always been frosty with me in the 15 years since.

And another I once sat next to a man at my friends birthday meal, we spent quite some time chatting and making jokes and I thought it strange he hadnt introduced himself so eventually I said so how do you know sarah then? err its me rob, her brother, have you not recognised me the entire time you've been talking to me - to be fair it had been around 10 years since id last seen him and he'd gone bald!

I have a friend who is is a multiple amputee and he says that he quite likes it when people say legless/do you need a hand because it shows that they are not thinking about his disability first and him second. He much prefers people to use normal language and not try to police themselves. People who go out of their way to avoid saying "offensive" things are more annoying he says, which is just as well as I have a Phd in Foot in Mouth!

Quick name change here. I told my cousin by text I was roasting her Dad with champagne this weekend. I meant toasting. He is being cremated this week.

My husband's friend is a double amputee and only has one arm and one leg. One day I saw him on his bike and gave him a wave but he didn't wave back. Next time I saw him I had a go at him for ignoring me, then he informed that if he'd waved he wouldn't have been able to steer the bike. Oops! I always forget about it.

Not me but a senior female manager at work. She was away on business and accidentally sent an email to the group which was intended for another manager she was having an affair with. She phoned a colleague friend and asked her to demand everyone's login and go in and delete the incriminating email. Everyone refused, quite rightly so.

I regularly sign things off 'kind retards'

I always wonder why people start these threads without sharing their own stories.

In my first job I was being trained on the telephones because they were exceptionally busy that week and needed some extra help.
My manager said to answer with "Good morning, xx company, PenSylvester speaking, how can I help?" And asked if I was okay doing that. I obviously said yes.

Phone rings.

I pick up.

"Hello?"

I was very embarrassed. Cue an awkward telephone conversation.

When my dog was younger he could be a pest when we had visitors.
A lovely plumber came to quote for a job and got on very well with the dog as he had a large dog himself
When I next spoke to him to arrange for him to do the work he mentioned that sadly he had had to have his dog put to sleep. I commiserated and then we made the arrangements.
I ended by saying that he didn't need to worry about the dog bothering him next time he came as I had got rid of him - then I realised what I had said and burbled " but not permanently, just for the day, I haven't had him put down or anything"