Ah Shit

[TheSkyisBlueToday]

Inspired by another thread 😅 Have you ever accidentally put your foot in it? Maybe something embarrassing or something you should not have said/done?

Keen to hear your stories!

Once sent an email regarding the Pariah Council. I blame autocorrect.

Well about a week ago I messaged my little granny in reply to her query about nail polish and told her I had painted my tits two weeks ago and it was still perfect.

I meant toes. She didn't twig and thought it was a new 'trend'.

But my all time favourite is a text I sent to my now ex when we were first seeing each other. I was really unwell at the time and he asked what I was up to, I tried to say I was away to bed with heroes (the TV show and he knew I had been watching it recently).

I told him I was away to bed with herpes instead. Looking back, I really wish that had sent him running to save me years of emotional and financial abuse but it was funny at the time.

Oh, or when I was a teen my rabbit died in the morning. My mum texted her boss and said 'she would be late in today as she had a dead rabbi in the kitchen'.

She then sat the phone down while we sorted the bunny etc and wondered why when she pcked it back up she had loads of texts asking if she was OK, did she need someone to come over and sit with her and what had happened etc until she read back her original text.

What a very odd op. It reads like that bit off Jeremy Kyle where he invites you to appear on the show. What's your story op?

"kind retards" is not funny, sorry.

Many years ago as an extremely nervous young graduate, I went for an interview with a top professional firm. In reply to one of the replies to a Q I meant to say " hardship" and said " hardshit" by mistake ☺️ I didn't get the job!!😂

I have a polite auto correct. I immeidately get kind regards. I reckon most who say they get the offencive word think they are being original and funny.

So, when is this article being published in the DM?

Yes or they have typed it before lots of times

I used to work in banking in the days when you would read the previous day's sent letters in the circulated filing. I had a guy working for me who had trouble with spelling - a few of his best:

• He wrote to the Senior Manager of our Turdbridge Wells Branch (not Tunbridge Wells)
• We used to use clocking in/out machines made by Hengestler so the title of one of his letters to all branches was 'Hengestler Flexi-cock' maintenance'
• We had an initiative called 'Get it right first time' - he sent a letter to all branches with the title 'Get it write first time'

The last one was the 'straw to break the camel's back' - he was managed out shortly after...

Yes or they have typed it before lots of times

Or just because T is above G on the keyboard.

Whatever the reason its not exactly a hilarious anecdote

I asked my dm for my first bra.

Then said I was glad to have got it off my chest. .
She laughed and I burst into tears!!

I used to have to regularly send out letters with printed address labels to Hampshire. I constantly typed Hampshite by accident!

Sorry Hampshite Hampshire

In a bank's complaints dept:

Once again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused. Should you have any further query, please don't contact us.

Missed out the 'hesitate to' more times than necessary!

A few years ago, a lovely guy at work did me a favour which helped me complete my project. 'Thanks' I said, adding before I had time to stop and think, 'you're my fairy godmother'. I meant he'd made all my wishes come true but he's gay so....

Lol that one is great.

Sent a shag list to a client instead of a snag list

A very dear friend had a significant Wedding Anniversary coming up. I automatically cheerfully said "Blimey you get less for murder." Her son had been horribly murdered a year before and we were all dreading the trial which was also looming.
I stood with my eyes shut and physically cringing for a long pause before apologising.
I'm cringing now just remembering the awfulness of it.

And not me but my boss on site. One of our project managers lost half of his finger in an accident, you have to fingerprint in here so when PM asked if he had to be finger printed at that moment, boss said "no, you could just leave your finger". Boss didn't actually know about the missing half finger but we told him and said PM was very upset about it. Boss rang PM to apologise and PM thought it was hilarious

I have a polite auto correct. I immeidately get kind regards. I reckon most who say they get the offencive word think they are being original and funny

ermm - no, you have no autocorrect.

Once while sending an email about a collection for somebody I leaving, I sent an email stating her first name and what should have been her last name but it auto corrected to head is ginger - she did have the most beautiful red hair

When a close friends mum died I went to the florest to order a wreath and they asked what I would like on the card I replied with love and best wishes love bumbum. The florest asked me if that was exactly what I wanted to say, I replied yes, she then read the card back to me again and the penny dropped. I'm so grateful she questioned it!

Auto-correct changes my name from Sally to Salty, so I regularly sign off emails like this.

We used to shorten the word 'client' to clt in a previous job. I was training some folk on handling complaints and so was referring to 'clts' a lot. My handwriting isn't the best (especially on a flip chart) and I ended up scribbling 'clit' instead. More than once.
'Dealing with Difficult Clits' etc etc.
2 close friends in the training session and they were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe.

BeyondThePage I do have auto correct thank you.