Are these just normal comments about baby girls?

[listentobirdsong]

I don't know if I'm just being silly, but here it goes:

DD has recently just turned one, and since she was born I've noticed that people (who we know and strangers) often make comments about her body and being a 'flirt'.

People often joke telling her to put her legs/bum away, and say she's a flirt and we need to watch her with the boys as she's very affectionate (will literally go up to a stranger and kiss them!).

I know these comments are totally innocent, but it happens a lot and makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Aibu?

Its a term I've heard loads and in no way in a sexual way when its used for babies and toddlers. It just means playful, teasing, fun.

I don't think you need to be worried about those people you know using it. if you start getting offended they will most likely think you are weird!

DD has recently just turned one, and since she was born I've noticed that people (who we know and strangers) often make comments about her body and being a 'flirt'.

Very weird. Keep her away from those people you know who do it whenever possible.

They're grooming her to define herself over her body and how men see that body.
They don't think about it, and may mean it in an innocent way, but that doesn't change that it is grooming her for exactly the horrid misogynist world we sadly still live in.

I had a friend that was outraged at my 5 month old being naked in my own frontroom... "You need to be careful! you never can tell, it's your job to protect her!"Protect her from what I've no idea. It's not like I was parading her and giving her to strangers

Apparently your friend swallowed the fairytale that a bit of fabric can keep rapists away, but that lack of clothes might make a rapist materialize in your own frontroom, out of thin air.

I've been guilty of saying "he's a flirt" about my nephew - when he takes a liking to a stranger.

What would a more appropriate description be?

"He's friendly " " he's comfy with new people ".
Why say "he's a flirt "?

He's out-going, he's confident, he's friendly.

Wouldn't you rather be known as any of those rather than a flirt?

Isn't there some NSPCC guidance about the pants rule - maybe you should contact the NSPCC and tell them what a bunch of silly prudes they are.

I have no need to get in touch with the nspcc because I do actually know that I am not sexually harassing my kid and that there is no 'creepyness' behind it. I'm perfectly aware of my intentions and of my children's feelings and boundaries. How very odd you need a website to help you with that.

My children know that if an adult touches them in any way (anywhere) and they don't feel comfortable they should tell me about it. The pants rule is very useful for children to understand where adults shouldn't touch but obviously pants cover different amounts of skin. Are the tops of boys legs in boxer somehow more sexualised that a girl wearing knickers? No? No they're not and as adult you should be able to understand the difference.

I'd say the majority of adults have probably been patted by their mum on the bum at some point in their lives. I don't think we should all be calling the NSPCC to report historic sex crimes do you?

Ascribing sexualised motivation to normal baby attempts to interracial with people is fucking weird

When DD1 was about 18 months we had visitors and she stood and literally batted her eyelashes at one of them (I'd never seen someone do that in real life before)! My aunt reckoned she was a flirt then!

I often say to dd "I love your chunky thighs!" And squeeze them, which she thinks is hilarious. I have no issue with being silly. I just find the comments telling her to put her legs/bum away are when she's crawling, or wearing a little romper or something.

It's really interesting as the views are pretty divided on this!

I don't like it.

I think it's because I've read quite a few news stories where pedophiles blame their actions on their victims - 'she was flirting with me' about a 6 year old for instance. I doubt very much that the people calling a one year old 'sexy' mean anything more than attractive, but it does feel off to me. There are so many more accurate and less emotive words they could use.

Sorry Clalpolly just realised I got your name wrong too so double sorry

Haven't read the thread but that is so weird! I had to tell my Mum off the other day. DD (14 months) was parading around in just her nappy dancing at home and my mum kept going 'whit woo, sexy!' I had to say 'for gods sake Mum, don't call her sexy it sounds bloody horrible'!!

I've called my son a wee flirt. Called my other ds and dd it aswell. I've also been known to tell them all to put their boobies away. And still say dd is flashing when she pulls her dress up.

It's nothing sexual, plus they find the word booby funny. I think people look too much into things sometimes. I've had strangers say they're wee flirts but maybe it's a regional thing. I wouldn't think anything into it honestly.

I do agree with what you're saying about the word sexy though, but I've never really used that word for adults let alone heard it used for kids

That's awful. I've never ever heard adults say such things about a little child. Of course, we know these people exist, but you don't want to hear the people that you know talking like that about your child. Tell them off when they make comments like that. It's not right.