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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ask if you would get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

181 replies

Busybecca · 20/06/2017 22:25

I have a 7 year old large breed dog. Today I took her for a run/bike ride before collecting the DCs from school/nursery and heading to the park for them all to cool off in the river. When we arrived home, I asked DH to watch them while I took a quick shower. Ddog was sleeping and drying off in the sunshine when I went upstairs.

I heard shouting when I was in the shower and when I got out I found DH had locked Ddog in the utility room. He said she had growled at DD (3) and we need to get rid of her. I asked what had happened and he said it didn't matter, she's agressive and should go. After speaking to the DCs I discovered that they had been running and doing cartwheels and DD had accidentally kicked Ddog when landing. She said she stroked her and said sorry and Ddog licked her. She also mentioned that DH had been inside the house so hadn't been supervising them like I'd asked.

Ddog adores the DC and has never shown any aggression towards humans or dogs. I think a growl was a natural reaction to being woken and hurt and doesn't mean she had bad intentions but DH thinks I'm putting Ddog before the DC. I said he was putting himself before the DC when he wasn't supervising them appropriately...!

Am I being naive? Would you get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

OP posts:
ThymeLordIsSpartacus · 08/08/2017 12:32

There's no way I would keep a dog like that in the house with a child

A dog like what? One that effectively communicates when it isn't happy with something? What a ridiculous thing to say.

Wonderflonium · 08/08/2017 12:33

I know a lady who punished her dog for growling. She believed in that alpha-dominance shite. He went on to bite a puppy and a neighbour's kid. She had to PTS. It still pisses me off that she endangered his life with sloppy training. He was a good dog, she was a shit owner.

If dogs think growling is "bad", they just escalate to biting. Your husband is at fault and needs to go to dog training/get re-homed.

Idontmeanto · 08/08/2017 12:33

In that situation no, but I would be falling out with the husband.
My old dog did get nervous and growled/warning snapped when my first child became mobile. In that situation I did get rid, and stand by that decision, but it was very sad and I did/do feel guilty ten years later.

HerOtherHalf · 08/08/2017 12:37

Just to add, your husband has demonstrated to your dd that it's ok to hit the dog if it growls. I hope she's wise enough, despite her age, to have figured out that daddy is an idiot.

user1494426473 · 08/08/2017 14:54

Of course not. As others have said a growl is just a way for your dog to say "I didn't like that, please stop". You must remember never to tell a dog off for growling or punish it by locking away, otherwise it will think growling isn't acceptable and next time your children hurt the dog it will skip the growling state and go straight to the biting bit. It is not the dog's fault and TBH you need to remind your children not to be too boisterous or "in your face" around the dog. Your dh is being very unreasonable making the leap that just because he's a big dog and he growled he's somehow going to kill your children. The important thing is to teach children to behave well around the dog and never punish the dog for expressing itself. If you're uncertain then both kids and dog should be supervised together until you feel confident again. As others say I wonder if DH isn't as emotionally attached to the dog as the rest of the family. If not I would recommend he spends more time with the dog, walks her, feeds her, plays with her etc. Often DH's don't participate as much in the day to day care of dogs and feel less connected because of it.

Kursk · 08/08/2017 14:58

No of course not, how else is s dog meant to communicate.

The only time I would consider getting rid of the dog is if it big unprovoked.

Kursk · 08/08/2017 14:58

Bit

VladmirsPoutine · 08/08/2017 15:00

Can you stop saying Ddog? Just say dog FGS.

FlyingFox95 · 08/08/2017 15:05

I really, really prefer dogs to children so my answer is easy. In saying that though I'd never bring a child into my home if I was worried about it interacting with the animals.

FlyingFox95 · 08/08/2017 15:06

Also I wouldn't continue living with anyone who hit a dog. They'd be out on the streets regardless of the time, pathetic and disgusting.

bengalcat · 08/08/2017 17:24

A growl is just a dogs way of saying back off - a warning . Sounds as though husband wasn't paying attention anyway - get rid of DH perhaps and keep DDog ( only teasing re DH ) . Always taught my kid that a dog with its ears back or growling is one to leave alone at that moment in time .

kali110 · 08/08/2017 17:26

If she's wants to says ddog then she can Hmm it is her 'darling dog' to her.

Aeroflotgirl · 08/08/2017 17:29

Bloody hell, I would growl if I was kicked by somebody, jeeze. Poor dog, tell the kids to be careful next time, not your dogs fault. Mabey get rid of the kids, no no, get rid of the husband.

Aeroflotgirl · 08/08/2017 17:31

Vlad dogs or pets are like family to some people, so to the op, the dog is dear to her.

LucieLucie · 08/08/2017 17:31

Your dh is an idiot. Clueless about dogs.

You should never disturb a sleeping dog! Let alone allow bloody kids to do cart wheels and gymnastics around it while it's sleeping!

He seriously thinks the poor dog is in the wrong for making a sound?? It can't speak fgs!!

Enrol him on a canine behaviour course, pronto! The husband btw, not the dog Wink

OhWotIsItThisTime · 08/08/2017 20:29

My dog has growled if it's pissed off. We leave it alone and address why it is pissed off.

I'd rather that than it puts up with something until it bites out of anxiety/rage.

breakabletoy · 08/08/2017 20:47

your dog sounds perfectly normal.

The scary dogs are the ones who don't give warning growls but just go straight to biting when distressed.

You should keep the dog and perhaps look into crate training. Many dogs respond very well to crates, because it becomes "their room", and a respite from noisy kids etc when trying to sleep. (you have to train the kids too, to leave the dog well alone when its chosen to hang out in its crate). You don't ever have to lock the dog in the crate either, which is a common misconception.

HeebieJeebies456 · 09/08/2017 00:12

He just doesn't want the dog and is looking for any excuse to get rid.

Smacking the dog when your dd was in no danger is just plain abusive.

I wonder how often he smacks/kicks/hits the dog that you don't know about?
Maybe he thinks if he can provoke the dog into being aggressive/violent he can then use this as a justification for you to get rid of the dog?

kali110 · 09/08/2017 00:28

I wonder how often he smacks/kicks/hits the dog that you don't know about?
Maybe he thinks if he can provoke the dog into being aggressive/violent he can then use this as a justification for you to get rid of the dog?

Yes i also wonder Sad
Disgrace of a man.
What is he showing his daughter?
I'd have booted him straight out the door, but then things like this get me angry.

littlepeas · 09/08/2017 00:31

I have a large dog (golden retriever) who has never put a foot wrong around my dc or in any other circumstances (although we still supervise them together). My dsis has 2 jack russell crosses who are snappy little fuckers that I would not trust around my dc. The size of a dog is not an indicator of its temperament, that is an ignorant way of thinking.

OP - in the circumstances you describe I would not rehome the dog.

kali110 · 09/08/2017 00:34

littlepeas i hate judging dogs by breeds ( but jack Russells really are yappy little biters aren't they!)

altiara · 09/08/2017 01:02

My jack Russell isn't!! He also isn't little, he's enormous (so medium sized dog) and barks like a big dog. (He doesn't really like the small yappy jacks tbh!!).

He has growled occasionally at the children who have then been told off for annoying him. I agree with growling being a warning.

ProseccoMamam · 09/08/2017 01:17

Sounds like he doesn't want the dog

Dog has never been aggressive towards children before, so there isn't really a huge chance of it biting kids.
If someone smacked you in the face while you were asleep you'd probably have some sort of knee jerk reaction, a dog can only make noise.

Plus 7 years old is an age for a dog where they are very chilled and relaxed about things, a three year old could be a bit too much for them, but again the dog has shown no aggression to your child so it seems the dog is coping fine with a little one running around playing.

If this proceeds and you feel he can't be trusted, you can stick your dh in a kennel outside 🤔

Amanduh · 09/08/2017 06:31

I wouldn't have a large dog around small kids.
I eouldn't be happy if said large dog growled at my small kid either. Kids are boisterous, accidents could happen (not iin this case as you say they werent supervised but another time) and as I have experienced several times, any kind, docile dog can suddenly snap. It only takes the once. So i can 100% see your husbands point of view.
However if you are happy having a dog around your children, then no the growling on it's own shouldn't warrant getting rid of the dog. Dogs growl.

StayGoldPonyBoy · 09/08/2017 07:05

Has your DH ever raised his voice at you or the kids? Best get rid of him if so- he's clearly aggressive and needs to go Hmm

He's clearly looking for an excuse to get rid of the dog. I wouldn't in a million years get rid of her for this.