to ask if you would get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

[Busybecca]

I have a 7 year old large breed dog. Today I took her for a run/bike ride before collecting the DCs from school/nursery and heading to the park for them all to cool off in the river. When we arrived home, I asked DH to watch them while I took a quick shower. Ddog was sleeping and drying off in the sunshine when I went upstairs.

I heard shouting when I was in the shower and when I got out I found DH had locked Ddog in the utility room. He said she had growled at DD (3) and we need to get rid of her. I asked what had happened and he said it didn't matter, she's agressive and should go. After speaking to the DCs I discovered that they had been running and doing cartwheels and DD had accidentally kicked Ddog when landing. She said she stroked her and said sorry and Ddog licked her. She also mentioned that DH had been inside the house so hadn't been supervising them like I'd asked.

Ddog adores the DC and has never shown any aggression towards humans or dogs. I think a growl was a natural reaction to being woken and hurt and doesn't mean she had bad intentions but DH thinks I'm putting Ddog before the DC. I said he was putting himself before the DC when he wasn't supervising them appropriately...!

Am I being naive? Would you get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

It sounds like the kids need training in how to handle pets. Usually a normal, non aggressive pet will send out all kinds of signals, to let you know he is unhappy. A growl or a nip really is their last resort. Learn the signs and teach the kids to back off when the pet needs space.

Getting rid of your dog for something like this is entirely unreasonable. Its one thing if he is lashing out but quite another to be sent packing for a growl.

I think DH needs training. I'm sorry but I don't think I'd trust him after this. He's clueless about dogs and supervising them and managing them. He's not prepared to listen to your knowledge. He won't admit he is wrong.
I think he could be gunning for the dog, in future.

Get a trainer. Not for the dog. For the husband.

Ddog grumbles at DS occasionally - he's still here though. DS is learning (through my teaching to be careful (because I'm teaching him, not through growling!) and about how to behave around him. Ddog is never punished for growling, never. It is his most emphatic way of telling us he's had enough.

(This makes it sound like Ddog is constantly growling and being clambered all over - nothing could be further from the truth. But he has had the odd mumble).

The fact she growled is fantastic

At least she gave a warning and didn't go straight for a bite

No I wouldn't rehome her

The dog growled as a way of saying "I'm fed up leave me alone" you can teach a 3 year old that this means move right away from the dog until it comes to you. You could also set up a safe zone for your dog eg put a bed in utility room. Reinforce consistently that your dc never ever follow her there. Then take the dog there if she seems stressed.
However, if by growled you mean snarled as in teeth showing looking like she might bite then this is more serious and yes I might consider re homing.

So DH thinks the dog is super dangerous, but couldn't be bothered to supervise DC and dog? Right.

She's an American Bulldog x Boxer. Having spoken to DD this morning, DH did smack Ddog

The absolute worst thing your DH could have done is punish the dog for effective non-aggressive communication. Next time she feels I need pain/frightened she'll have to escalate her behaviour to make her point.

The fault is his. HE is the responsible adult, HE should have been appropriately supervising his DC, not blaming the dog for HIS failings.

[[I suggest you show him this link
imnotamonster.org/any-dog-can-bite/]]

And this one to teach him what supervision actually means
doggonesafe.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/tip-of-day-supervise-kids-and-dogs-be.html?m=1

Sorry typo on first link here it is:

imnotamonster.org/any-dog-can-bite/

I think you have to get your dh to do some learning here. Is there a course or books he'd be willing to do or read, as he is obviously concerned but has the wrong end of the stick? His behaviour with the dog sounds bad enough that if he really won't change or learn then yes either he or the dog probably has to go, and he should not have any other dog either.

I wouldn't rehome but as PP have said, the children need to be supervised at all times when they're with the dog, until they're older and have a better understand of how to behave around her. TBH I'd do this with a small child and any dog.

Unfortunately, you can't trust your dh to supervise properly so you need to ensure you do. Having a safe zone or a crate is a good idea, or you need to keep the dog with you more (e.g. when you dashed in with a shower you could have taken the dog with you).

Bloody hell..with him smacking her, he's teaching her it's not ok to warn. Next time she might just bite instead

I have this problem with my pup. When she's sleeping, my children keep trying to cuddle her. I stop them because I don't like being disturbed whilst I'm asleep, why should a dog?

But if I don't stop them in time she does a growly snap. Her teeth have grazed the fingers of both dc a couple of times. Not enough to mark or bleed, but enough to shock them.

The oldest is finally learning don't touch!! And the youngest isn't really bothered by the dog now and leaves her alone 90% of the time.

I wish she had learnt to growl but for some reason she never did and went straight to snap.

She's 18 weeks old so I'm not going to get her pts either

Your DH is a dickhead.

Please educate him OP for the sake of your lovely dog.

Basic golden rules

NEVER disturb a dog when eating or sleeping.

This thread has lots of useful resources - perhaps you could do some learning as a family

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/2956670-Useful-resources-for-common-questions

If I'm understanding this right, your youngest is three and this is the first incident of any kind? And the dog growled when (accidentally) hurt but didn't snap or demonstrate any further aggression? And the accident happened because your DH wasn't supervising properly, and he subsequently hit the dog?

If I have all that correct, then the husband can go.

No I wouldn't. A growl is a dogs way of warning that it doesn't like what's being done. My dog sometimes growls at DD(13) because she fusses her too much sometimes. a little growl lets her know leave her alone. It's not a bared teeth snarl just a low growl. Dogs need space, god knows I do in this heat.

This is also why dogs are not rehomed to homes with DC under 5. They have to understand the difference between a cuddly toy and an animal.

Iv had to explain to dh about dog behaviour. He, like your dh, thought they shouldn't growl until I explained it's their way of telling you to stop or that they don't like something.
I think lots of people see it as agreesvie but like a lot of trainers will tell you, if you start telling them off for communicating then next time they may think oh well this time I'll go straight for a bite because I'm not supposed to growl.
Ds (5) knows that if the dogs growl they are saying stop it I don't like that.
My friend used to work for the rspca and says they had dogs brought in for growling at the kids after being provoked

No.

The dog was already hot and bothered. Your child hurt the dog by accident of course it growled. If I'm injured I let out a frustrated noise.

No.

My dog has growled a few times over the last few years. My fault as I allowed ds as a toddler to accidently hurt her.

I have a (shock horror) Staffy and 2 under 5s. He growled at my youngest yesterday for the first time ever who just wouldn't leave him alone despite lots of telling by me. I was more annoyed at my son for irratating the dog so much he had to growl! He was hot and it's the only way he can say 'enough!'. Ds2 got sent to the naughty step and dog got told to lay on his bed out the way.

Oh no just seem that DH hit the dog :-(

Your dd of 3 years old seemed to sort the situation better than your adult 'd'h did