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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you would get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

181 replies

Busybecca · 20/06/2017 22:25

I have a 7 year old large breed dog. Today I took her for a run/bike ride before collecting the DCs from school/nursery and heading to the park for them all to cool off in the river. When we arrived home, I asked DH to watch them while I took a quick shower. Ddog was sleeping and drying off in the sunshine when I went upstairs.

I heard shouting when I was in the shower and when I got out I found DH had locked Ddog in the utility room. He said she had growled at DD (3) and we need to get rid of her. I asked what had happened and he said it didn't matter, she's agressive and should go. After speaking to the DCs I discovered that they had been running and doing cartwheels and DD had accidentally kicked Ddog when landing. She said she stroked her and said sorry and Ddog licked her. She also mentioned that DH had been inside the house so hadn't been supervising them like I'd asked.

Ddog adores the DC and has never shown any aggression towards humans or dogs. I think a growl was a natural reaction to being woken and hurt and doesn't mean she had bad intentions but DH thinks I'm putting Ddog before the DC. I said he was putting himself before the DC when he wasn't supervising them appropriately...!

Am I being naive? Would you get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

OP posts:
elastamum · 20/06/2017 22:40

No. My dog gave my niece a real telling off when she accidentally stood on her when she was sleeping. But she didn't bite her, so we just explained to her that jumping on the dog was likely to upset her. My DS1 and DSil thought that was fair enough. DDog never ever bit anyone, she just didn't like being stood on

CheshireChat · 20/06/2017 22:41

Hell no and I say that as someone who had to return a cat to the shelter because he was getting very aggressive with my then baby DS.

It sounds like your DD reacted more correctly than your DH. I mean all the dog did was the canine equivalent of swearing when something unpleasant happens.

minsmum · 20/06/2017 22:43

If he won't admit he was wrong then you will never be able to leave him to supervise their interaction. Luckily you have found this out before something horrible happened but you will need a contingency plan

nocoolnamesleft · 20/06/2017 22:43

What fucking moron left a kid that age unsupervised with a large dog? Ah, yes, your DH. He's an idiot.

Swissgemma · 20/06/2017 22:44

A growl is the only way a dog has to day 'hmm didn't like that, please don't do it again'... our cocker rarely growls but does when my 23 month old monkey is too loving!!!!! always a sign for me to take the monkey away and remind ddog he doesn't have to stay!

DontTouchTheMoustache · 20/06/2017 22:44

Agree with PP and was going to say exactly what starry said, you should.never try to train your dog not to.growl or shout at them for it as it is their warning noise and without it they are much more likely to go straight to biting. My dog is the softest dog in the world but recently had an infection in his bits so I had to.rub cream on the affected area (I lead a glamorous life) and when he saw put the gloves on he started growling. I have a 16 month old DC so it did cross my mind for a while that it could be a worry but after researching it i felt reassured that growling is not on itself a sign of an aggressive dog.

Original poster
Busybecca · 20/06/2017 22:44

After his latest rant I suspect he may have smacked Ddog as well as shouting at her and locking her away Angry In which case he's lost any say in whether the dog stays or goes because he'd be going.

OP posts:
PossumInAPearTree · 20/06/2017 22:47

If your dh is shouting and smacking the dog for growling he is seriously risking the dogs behaviour escalating.

The worst thing you can do to a growling dog is punish them.....they are then more likely to skip the growling stage and go straight to the biting stage.

If a dog growls you need to listen to the message and adjust behaviour accordingly.

OneOfTheGrundys · 20/06/2017 22:48

IMO no not for growling. Large breeds here too. Two dc and dogs since forever.

OneOfTheGrundys · 20/06/2017 22:50

And yy, defo no hitting at all for that growl.

OneOfTheGrundys · 20/06/2017 22:50

Or ever...

shinyredbus · 20/06/2017 22:53

absolutely not - i would speak to your dh though - he's being absurd and really should be watching them instead of lying (your post mentioned your kids said that he was not watching them - so how would he know the dog was growling?)

Dogs growl to give warning and given the circumstances of why the dog growled, i would be more inclined to explain to children why the dog growled, although it sounds as though your kids already placated dog by stroking it!

CornflakeHomunculus · 20/06/2017 22:56

No I wouldn't, particularly not in the sort of situation you describe.

I'd get rid of DH for hitting the dog though.

It's a really bad idea to punish a dog for growling. Growling is just a form of communication and communication is a good thing. If a dog becomes too scared to growl (for fear of physical or verbal reprimands) what do they do next time something similar happens? They skip the growling and go straight to snapping.

Original poster
Busybecca · 20/06/2017 23:01

DD was really upset because she worried she'd hurt Ddog and she 'wouldn't want to be her friend anymore.' She's definitely learned her lesson. Both DC would be distraught if they knew DH wanted Ddog to go.

OP posts:
honeyroar · 20/06/2017 23:04

Is he just using this as an excuse? Does he not like the dog or did he not want her? Or is he just one of those horrible people that want to dump pets when kids arrive?

CageyBee · 20/06/2017 23:04

DH is thick. And cruel. Get rid of him.

Piratesandpants · 20/06/2017 23:04

No. I'd start with adults taking proper responsibility for supervising children. Then I'd teach children how to behave around the dog.

isadoradancing123 · 20/06/2017 23:05

Absolutely no way, it's just the dogs way of saying she not happy

Beeziekn33ze · 20/06/2017 23:12

Did DH hear the growl or did the DC tell him? Presumably the shouting was DH after being told. DD sounds sweet and caring towards the dog.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 20/06/2017 23:14

Absolutely not.
Give DH a piece of your mind OP.😡

shockthemonkey · 20/06/2017 23:17

Please don't punish the dog for this! She sounds just lovely and the children would blame themselves for ages.

Agree that the growl was reasonable in the circs you describe and even wonder whether your DH might be exaggerating a tiny bit

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 20/06/2017 23:18

I know who I'd be getting rid of.

Evilstepmum01 · 20/06/2017 23:22

Your DH hit your poor dog? I'd be getting rid of him.

She warned them to leave her be, they listened.

UrsulaPandress · 20/06/2017 23:23

Hell no. Everyone else goes before the hound.

Coastalcommand · 20/06/2017 23:27

Sounds like DH is looking for an excuse. I'd think less of him for his behaviour throughout. Keep the dog!

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