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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you would get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

181 replies

Busybecca · 20/06/2017 22:25

I have a 7 year old large breed dog. Today I took her for a run/bike ride before collecting the DCs from school/nursery and heading to the park for them all to cool off in the river. When we arrived home, I asked DH to watch them while I took a quick shower. Ddog was sleeping and drying off in the sunshine when I went upstairs.

I heard shouting when I was in the shower and when I got out I found DH had locked Ddog in the utility room. He said she had growled at DD (3) and we need to get rid of her. I asked what had happened and he said it didn't matter, she's agressive and should go. After speaking to the DCs I discovered that they had been running and doing cartwheels and DD had accidentally kicked Ddog when landing. She said she stroked her and said sorry and Ddog licked her. She also mentioned that DH had been inside the house so hadn't been supervising them like I'd asked.

Ddog adores the DC and has never shown any aggression towards humans or dogs. I think a growl was a natural reaction to being woken and hurt and doesn't mean she had bad intentions but DH thinks I'm putting Ddog before the DC. I said he was putting himself before the DC when he wasn't supervising them appropriately...!

Am I being naive? Would you get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

OP posts:
Original poster
Busybecca · 20/06/2017 23:28

He heard the growl from indoors. He doesn't get why I'm angry with him and not Ddog at all. He's gone out now, feel like letting Ddog have his side of the bed Grin

OP posts:
Urubu · 20/06/2017 23:28

No! The dog's reaction was normal.

Original poster
Busybecca · 20/06/2017 23:30

I had Ddog before we met. He wouldn't have chosen to have a large breed but then he play fights with her when the DC are around which I hate because I do think one could accidentally hurt then.

OP posts:
rinabean · 20/06/2017 23:39

He sounds pretty awful from what you've said. I could understand fear turning to anger, but it seems like your 3 year old and your dog were already sorting things out peacefully and then he intervened, possibly hit the dog, possibly made the dog more likely to be violent instead of warning in future, locked the dog away, upset you the dog and and the children

the dog calmed down and gave her a lick, she was sorry and realised she'd hurt him and that he was upset because of that, and they're THREE and a DOG. He wasn't even there!! He charged in and made it worse after the THREE YEAR OLD and the DOG already had it in hand

user1497997754 · 20/06/2017 23:41

I would def get rid of the husband....dogs are loyal, faithful, always listen, give big hugs....the dog would win every time....could be he is jealous of your dog

OliviaBenson · 20/06/2017 23:49

Your poor dog will have no idea why she was hit and locked away.

It's actually a good sign that she did growl and didn't bite straight away.

The fact your DH was not supervising and won't take any responsibility says it all.

He should be rehomed, not the dog.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 21/06/2017 00:13

No. This is a supervision issue. The rule in our house with my idiot spaniel is that the kids are not left alone with him. If the adults are upstairs he is in the kitchen behind the baby gate no exceptions - he knows the drill anyway. I rarely have to do it as he follows me everywhere so he will be at my heels upstairs.

My dog will give a warning growl before he snaps at us which he does once in a while if he's provoked by being scared or hurt.

You can never trust a dog 100% they are animals not robots. Only the risks can be minimised by robust supervision.

Also I will add that the extreme heat has made my dog very jumpy and unsettled so he is unusually sensitive this week. I don't think it would take much for him to growl
Just now and he's going nowhere!

Biscuitybase · 21/06/2017 00:27

Poor ddog. Sad

As for your cruel excuse of a DH - LTB.

Ipsie · 21/06/2017 00:32

The worst thing anyone can do is teach a dog not to growl or bark or snarl - these are ways in which a dog communicates when body language is ignored. The dog was woken by being kicked - bet if dad was woken by a kick he'd not wake with a happy tone! The dog was essentosaying knock it the fuck off! If it was an aggressive and dangerous dog it would not have made a sound - it would have simply taken a bite or two. Plus in this hot weather dog was prob a little on the irritable side and really should have been supervised with the children. Hubby is the dangerous one here

Bananasinpyjamas4 · 21/06/2017 01:07

It's a warning from the dog, but unless your dog has shown aggression in other ways then it's not particularly bad in itself.

That being said, I know it's hard but I do think if we have dogs, of any size, that kids shouldn't be left unsupervised with them. At all.

GinSwigmore · 21/06/2017 01:11

Anyone who hits a dog gets short shrift from me. Angry

RainbowJack · 21/06/2017 01:23

I had Ddog before we met.

I was going to ask before I got this post because he sounds like he hasn't got a bloody clue!

YANBU OP.

Sounds like he's blame shifting to cover his own failings.

melj1213 · 21/06/2017 02:15

When he's dozing off on the sofa and least expecting it, you should give "D"H a kick ... if he lets out any kind of sound he should be told off and sent to the utility room, because that's what he did to the dog when she reacted that way.

Dogs can't verbalise the same way humans can, they have a very limited range of ways they can tell you there's something wrong, and growling when they have been woken by being kicked (even accidentally) is entirely understandable - they are going to be on alert for being woken suddenly and as an instinct in case someone is attacking them and they will give out a "warning".

musicposy · 21/06/2017 02:23

He play fights with the dog? He smacks and shouts at the dog for reacting with a restrained warning when it is kicked? Is he trying to teach this dog to bite your children? He's an idiot and it sounds as though he needs to learn how to behave, not the dog. If I was getting rid of anyone, it'd be the husband.

Out2pasture · 21/06/2017 02:25

Rehome the husband
He obviously knows nothing about dogs

sykadelic · 21/06/2017 03:21

I know you've resolved this already but dog growling in warning is totally totally normal. One of our dogs is all about growling. She growls at us, friends, family etc it's not because she's mean but because she's "talking". It's totally about context, whether she snapped at her or just growled... something he wouldn't know because he wasn't there!

ChinaRose · 21/06/2017 03:26

Your dh sounds like he needs dog training tbh. He is in danger of turning your dog nervous and anxious. What breed is your dog? Dogs growl. It's a way of communication.

KoalaDownUnder · 21/06/2017 03:38

He's a fuckwit who also knows nothing about dogs.

annandale · 21/06/2017 03:38

I would struggle to cope with a dog and children as frankly i have no idea how they are supposed to be 100% supervised without a moment's break for twelve years or whatever the advice is. I think your dh took action to protect your children, clearly it was all wrong from the posts here but he was probably terrified so at least he did something to try and protect them. God forbid that anyone not be a dog expert though.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2017 03:40

IME big breeds tend to be less of a problem because they are properly trained and supervised more. Except in this case, because DH didn't want to supervise. DDog growled. Good for DDog, signalling annoyance.

It's not going to work if DH hates DDog though. What's the solution?

crazyzooo · 21/06/2017 03:52

Growling is good communication (not aggression) and your dog was telling your DC "oi this is not OK". A perfectly natural response to being kicked.

Dogs who get punished for growling may stop offering that warning and could consequently be accused of "biting out of the blue" in the future.

Good reason for discussing how to behave around dogs with your DC again. IE with respect and not in the dogs personal space unless invited by the dog. Also a good reminder for you guys (parents) to actively supervise at all times.

KoalaDownUnder · 21/06/2017 04:04

annandale. You don't need to be an expert. But if you're going to combine children and dogs in a household, you do need to avail yourself of half a clue. He's had 3 years to do that, and clearly hasn't bothered.

MrsOverTheRoad · 21/06/2017 04:23

No! Your children need to be accompanied at ALL times when you're a dog owner...especially at three!

I have a large dog and my children aged 9 and 12 don't walk him or spend time alone with him. It's my responsibility to ensure they're safe and the dog is treated right.

My 9 year old for example needs reminding not to hug him...he doesn't like it....he's not agressive but he wiggles away and I had to tell her that he's showing her NOT to hug him and if she kept doing it, he might growl or bite.

Your DH sounds a bit stupid. Leaving a tiny child alone with a dog!

Msqueen33 · 21/06/2017 04:28

Your dh sounds like an idiot who has absolutely no clue how to treat a dog. Why on earth would you play fight with a dog and tell it off for growling? Sounds like he needs a dog behaviouralist.

PollytheDolly · 21/06/2017 05:44

Dogs who get punished for growling may stop offering that warning and could consequently be accused of "biting out of the blue" in the future. *

Exactly.

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