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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you would get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

181 replies

Busybecca · 20/06/2017 22:25

I have a 7 year old large breed dog. Today I took her for a run/bike ride before collecting the DCs from school/nursery and heading to the park for them all to cool off in the river. When we arrived home, I asked DH to watch them while I took a quick shower. Ddog was sleeping and drying off in the sunshine when I went upstairs.

I heard shouting when I was in the shower and when I got out I found DH had locked Ddog in the utility room. He said she had growled at DD (3) and we need to get rid of her. I asked what had happened and he said it didn't matter, she's agressive and should go. After speaking to the DCs I discovered that they had been running and doing cartwheels and DD had accidentally kicked Ddog when landing. She said she stroked her and said sorry and Ddog licked her. She also mentioned that DH had been inside the house so hadn't been supervising them like I'd asked.

Ddog adores the DC and has never shown any aggression towards humans or dogs. I think a growl was a natural reaction to being woken and hurt and doesn't mean she had bad intentions but DH thinks I'm putting Ddog before the DC. I said he was putting himself before the DC when he wasn't supervising them appropriately...!

Am I being naive? Would you get rid of your dog if they growled at your child?

OP posts:
DonutCone · 21/06/2017 07:40

Wow. Not a million years would O consider this just cause to ditch a dog. She was asleep and got kicked, she growled, didn't bite. She got a shock, no dog is perfect, but she didn't hurt anyone where's your husband hit her and shut her away Hmm

I can see which one I'd keep.

NavyandWhite · 21/06/2017 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clalpolly · 21/06/2017 07:46

Your dh is an idiot for not supervising the children and dog.

MiaowTheCat · 21/06/2017 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harderandharder2breathe · 21/06/2017 08:15

Not in that situation, where the child had done something to the dog that made it give a warning growl.

I know someone who did get rid of their large dog after it growled at their baby but that was a little baby who apart from being there and crying had done nothing to provoke it

Queenofthedrivensnow · 21/06/2017 08:17

As pp said your 3 year old handled the situation perfectly on her own!

theculture · 21/06/2017 08:18

From what you at Dh just isn't a dog person, he doesn't understand the way to read and handle a dog and doesn't seem to want to learn

He doesn't have to want to live with a dog, he may find it stressful having to worry about the dog and the children and would prefer to get rid of the dog

So I don't think you should have to get rid of the dog, but short of a personality transplant you may have to accept that dh just doesn't handle things properly and change how the dog is managed rather than leave the dog and Dc in a situation where you can't trust dh

Alisvolatpropiis · 21/06/2017 08:21

Your dh sounds like an idiot.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 21/06/2017 08:21

I would get rid of your DH to be honest.

The dog was warning your DD to be respectful of her personal space. If you can't keep an eye on the children, find a quiet safe place for your dog, you owe her that.

I would never get rid of a dog for growling, your DH is a dickhead.

WoofWoofMooWoof · 21/06/2017 08:24

I growl at my DDs when they kick me!

Whatslovegottodo · 21/06/2017 08:31

FGS, by smacking a dog for growling you are effectively removing the batteries from a smoke alarm.
It is just part of their normal communication and acts as a warning system. Good dogs growl! Being kicked could have led to a snap from many dogs so she showed good bite inhabition and got punished for that Sad.

Your husband seems at best uneducated and unkind and at worst cruel and dangerous.
What a terrible example setting to your young daughter as well smacking your dog! He also failed to supervise the situation

I would be considering who I want to leave the house and it wouldn't be the dog. I would also be educating your daughter on how to be around the dog, and educating the family on dog body language and feelings. Dog decoder is a good app and is lots of information online.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 21/06/2017 08:31

Your DH is the one in the wrong here. Sounds like he needs to learn a lot more about canine behaviour and training, and also needs to take his child supervision duties a lot more seriously! Poor dog did nothing wrong at all Hmm

alwaysthepessimist · 21/06/2017 08:36

No and I have had dogs my entire life, dogs growl at kids when kids piss them off, not a reason to get rid - kids though should never, ever be left alone with animals no matter how much you trust them or the pet in my opinion (I know it was DH that wasn't supervising so he need a right good bollocking for it)

madein1995 · 21/06/2017 08:42

Your dh is an arse, O'd be considerimg who i got rid of tbh. Any dog can turn and by not supervisimg the kids if something had happened it'd hsve been partly his fault. Besides which dogs arent saints. A chilx kicks me and I'll shout, why is a dog different. Your dog was actually very restrained - he didnt snap - and its a dog fgs whats dh expect. My dog nipped cousin once. Cousin had been told numerous times to stop touching dogs bowl when she was eating. Was 10 so old enoigh to understand. Kept calling him back. When our backs were turned he did it again, dog snapped, cousin cried. Dog didnt get a telling off, cousin did. It made no marks and while we looked at it/checked there was no blood we certainly didnt paddy him. A better lesson than nagging did. Obviously different to your incident in numerous ways - but the upshot is youre lucky. Bollock dh, he should never leave them alone. As for smackimg poor dog, well id go mental on him. You have a dh problem

InDubiousBattle · 21/06/2017 08:47

I am not a dog lover. I generallly have as little to do with them as possible. Never had one, never will.....but even I think a growl when you're kicked awake is understandable and hitting an animal is just way out of line. I often feel a bit sorry for dogs that live with small children. Some of my friends dogs have to put up with so much noise, toy throwing, grabbing etc, I know of one toddler that tries to ride the poor dog constantly. They seem to have totolerate a lot whilst kids learn how to carry on with them.

Kidssendingmenuts · 21/06/2017 08:51

The dog was asleep and relaxed then all of a sudden kicked by accident. I'd growl too if that happened to me. There is no reason to get rid of the dog and he said sorry after by getting a love and licking your daughter. Just tell them to play those games away from the poor pooch and let them lay in peace!

TheViceOfReason · 21/06/2017 08:51

I certainly would not in those circumstances - and i'd be utterly furious with my DH for putting both child and dog in that situation.

Soubriquet · 21/06/2017 08:51

It's lovely to see a thread where everyone agrees with the dog side and not the usual pts demanders

shockthemonkey · 21/06/2017 08:58

Oh dear, DH smacked the dog. How terrible for her (Ddog), and upsetting for the kids. I am very sorry to read this.

I'm still traumatised decades after my DF punished a dog that growled at my younger sister (she was approaching him while he had a bone... he was a rescue and we were still getting to know him). On the advice of a very successful police-dog trainer my DF delivered a very cruel punishment... and we urged him to do so because we had been told that the alternative was to have Ddog PTS.

I still can't quite forgive myself for that. It was so bloody unfair on the dog. In my defence I was just 12 yrs old and the trainer had assured us that we had to do this or lose the dog. But still, as an animal lover it went against all my instincts.

Obviously you can't rehome your DH, but he needs to understand that this was absolutely NOT acceptable and it sounds as if you have delivered that message already -- well done.

I am sure you can resolve this and your blameless, lovely Ddog will enjoy many more happy years in your family Flowers

Imamouseduh · 21/06/2017 09:07

Of course not.

fleshmarketclose · 21/06/2017 09:17

No I wouldn't. Our ddog growls pretty regularly because he can be a grumpy git. He doesn't discriminate he growls at anyone or anything that pisses him off including the TV, his toys, our neighbour, a pigeon who dares to sit on the fence. We consider it his way of communicating and not a threat at all seeing as he's never made any attempt to bite.
Your dp wasn't supervising so he is at fault and not the poor dog. I'd be sorely tempted to get rid of the human though for not supervising the dc and hitting the dog.

RoseVase2010 · 21/06/2017 09:18

No, my dog snarled and snapped at my son when he first started crawling. So we separated them, slowly reintroduced them over the years and now dog knows to give child a wide berth and we live together in 'harmony'.

BUT I know my dog very well, I know I taught him bite inhibition as a puppy so if he did bite he would be unlikely to do any damage. I also know that if he's in a situation where the child stresses him out he will move out of the way. We have a set up that allows him to have a bed that is constantly accessible to the dog but not easily accessible to the child.

I've also met a lot of people who tell me their dog is good with children, but looking at the dog's body language that should really be 'they've not bitten a child yet'.

kaytee87 · 21/06/2017 09:18

No I wouldn't in those circumstances, ddog was just saying 'ouch cut it out'.

I can't believe your husband hit ddog and locked her away. I'd get rid of him before getting rid of the dog Angry

InDubiousBattle · 21/06/2017 09:19

Sobriquet had to just double check I was still actually on mn!

Augustbabyyeah · 21/06/2017 09:21

No, the DC need more training.