£100 a month of family money on himself.

[justkeepflying]

Want to start off by saying we're not rich by any means we're comfortable in that we can afford food etc. My DH wants to buy a motorbike on finance.
He had one for many years before the DC and would like one again. I was under the impression he was going to save up and buy one. I heard him on the phone this morning saying he didn't want to pay more than £100 a month.
Now to me that's a massive amount of money. It will mean we'll be struggling a little and won't be able to afford luxuries, days out with the DC etc. To me this is selfish. Plus add on insurance, tax, bike gear, petrol etc. Still while having to run a car.

My wages pay for food, council tax and that's about it. I'm poor every month. My DH pays rent, all other bills and things. If I need money I ask and he'll give it me no problems but i suppose I'm feeling selfish in a way that I work and see nothing of my money and I don't get to treat myself to anything and I can't just go and get fiancé or a loan on something because I myself don't earn enough.

I can't remember the last time I treated myself to anything and I hate spending family money on myself.
Aibu to be annoyed about this?
I haven't approached it yet as I have a history of going off on one in the past and I don't want to do that this time.

It's 'his' money after all and it's not like we're starving hungry.
It does make me resentful though if i'm honest.

OP, strike while the iron is hot and leave this man. His word means nothing, you can do so much better.

I'm sorry to hear that OP. That's really disappointing. Ultimately you need to do what's best for you. I think you need to look at increasing your income, independence and prospects. I think you said that you work nights to provide childcare in the day (was that you?), but if between you both you need to factor in childcare costs so you can better your career then do so. You need your own money (whether you stay together or not) to ensure you can have the future you want.

I think the cost benefit analysis of working should be made on basis on what is left over from the income after deducting half the childcare costs and work related expenses.

Ok, well the nursery fees for two children were more than my entire salary. So the household income was going to go down for no reason, the children would be in 8-6 childcare for no reason, and I would be back in a stressful job that I actually lost money to keep.

Thankfully my DP saw that paying out more than I was adding to the household income was a bit daft.

Mmm, I'm a fan of the childcare is a joint expense argument, but if it's costing more than the salary of the lower paid person it's not rocket science that some people won't be able to afford that. Or will, but won't think it worthwhile.