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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being a terrible snob?

423 replies

GirlOnATrainToShite · 19/06/2017 18:47

SMIL and FIL coming to stay for week soon which is an annual event. They are in all lovely and no trouble apart from the fact they watch every single soap going .

I admit I am not great with guests and I struggle having people in my space for long periods. We are also a large blended family so the house will be full (not relevant).

SMIL is a lovely northern lady who lives in an area where everyone is in and out of each other's houses, everyone knows that each other and it's a small area we live down south in a big area and very much keep to ourselves - we know most of our neighbours and are friendly but that's about it. I hate people turning up "unannounced".

We have no front garden (Victorian semi) just a very narrow path at the front of the house and a low wall dividing it from the pavement.

We do however have a (small) back garden which gets plenty of sun.

SMIL insists on taking a dining room chair and sitting on the front "path" and resting her legs on the wall with the front door wide open saying hello to anyone who walks past.

I know there are bigger things going on right now but AIBU to really hate her doing this as it's seems a bit "common" and prefer her to use the back which is private? I know she's not hurting anyone but I hate having my front door wide open (I will be at work some of the time). I need to chill out don't I?

OP posts:
flimflaminurjams · 19/06/2017 22:00

Fess up. You wish you were cool and Northern and could sit on a dining chair on the front with a can in your hand without a care in the world.

Let it go. She's doing no harm. Sit with her and have a chat about flat caps and bingo. You'll find it liberating. Go on...you know you want to Wink

Original poster
GirlOnATrainToShite · 19/06/2017 22:00

Everyone is prejudice about something and if you aren't then you are a liar.

OP posts:
boggedoff · 19/06/2017 22:01

It would annoy me as a neighbour after work I just want to go home not chit chat with some random I am massively anti social though

Justdontgetitatall · 19/06/2017 22:01

Sweetness You seriously need a reality slap! And that plum ripping out of your mouth....

So glad I'm not you!!!!

Hickoryandsage · 19/06/2017 22:02

Oh right, that's okay then.

Original poster
GirlOnATrainToShite · 19/06/2017 22:03

Being privately prejudiced about someone sitting outside my house on my garden chair isn't exactly the crime of the century and I think you need to stop laying into me and ask yourself why you are being that vicious to a stranger on the net over something relatively trivial.

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlOnATrainToShite · 19/06/2017 22:03

*dining chair

OP posts:
Upsy1981 · 19/06/2017 22:04

When we lived in Liverpool, I used to set up my DD's little sand pit on the front path and sit on the front step watching her (similar situation - victorian terrace, small path, low wall). Sometimes the neighbour's little girl would come and play too. Sometimes the elderly lady next door would come and join us for a chat. Sometimes people who were passing would stop for a chat. We used to have lovely afternoons out there as we only had a small walled in back yard and the sun was on the front. On a couple of occasions, one of the neighbours set a paddling pool up on the pavement and the kids kyst stripped down to their knickers and hopped in! However, my mum thought all this was terribly common and used to tell me so frequently! Didn't stop me though! Best neighbours we've had.

MrsD79 · 19/06/2017 22:05

Ooohhh i agree with you. I would be sooooo embarrassed. That's just me though.

TheFirstMrsDV · 19/06/2017 22:08

Um
Ok

Hickoryandsage · 19/06/2017 22:11

I haven't written anything vicious, I just don't agree with what you're saying. No it isn't the crime of the century. But you're not being privately prejudice, you've posted it on the Internet for people to respond.

I will leave you to it. I will consider how I have responded to you but maybe you should consider how you judge others.

Mollyboom · 19/06/2017 22:12

Love it, on the council estate where I grew up not uncommon to have a couch (or sofa as I believe the other half call it) in the front garden. I often sit in our front garden much to Dh's disgust and that of my now very middle class neighbours. Embrace it

Rudi44 · 19/06/2017 22:12

She sounds lovely and friendly and no I wouldn't be in the least bit embarrassed. I would draw the line at dragging the sofa out there but one chair and one lady saying hi to passers by I could definitely live with.

Chloe84 · 19/06/2017 22:13

I know she's not hurting anyone but I hate having my front door wide open

Front door open?! Shock

That's the quickest way to get mice/rats!

Arealhumanbeing · 19/06/2017 22:15

You're not being privately prejudiced. You're judging people and activities on the internet.

Have a think, mind your language and try to find out why your SMIL sitting out front is a problem. What do you believe it says about you? Why does what others think matter so much?

Go deep, get to know your prejudice.

roundtable · 19/06/2017 22:16

I'm in the South and we take the camping chairs out front to watch our kids play out. Sometimes we talk to the neighbours...Shock

One of my neighbours (in her 60's) does her gardening in a thong bikini out the front. To be fair though most of the neighbours object to it - I think good for her.

And all on a private cul de sac.

Iseesheep · 19/06/2017 22:17

I've lived in all sorts of houses in all sorts of countries and always have a bench at the front of the house. When the kids were little it was useful, now the kids aren't so little I have no reasonable excuse to park my arse there with a glass of wine and watch the world go by. I still do it though.

But I'm a 'northern lady' so 'tis to be expected.

roundtable · 19/06/2017 22:17

So let your SMIL get on with it.

It could be worse - she could be gardening in a thong...

Original poster
GirlOnATrainToShite · 19/06/2017 22:18

I don't really need the armchair psycho analysis thanks - I am perfectly aware of who I am Smile.

I have done my 40 hours personal therapy and my counselling diploma.

I should have put "light hearted" in the title.

OP posts:
Cary2012 · 19/06/2017 22:18

I used to work with someone who had her linen whirly dryer in the front garden, because it was a sun trap.

Bet you'd love her as a neighbour OP...

Doje · 19/06/2017 22:19

My nan used to do this! Suburb of West London if it makes any difference.

She used to sit out front in her bra and petticoat, so it could be worse OP!

RoyalUnited · 19/06/2017 22:19

Ten year ago I would've been very judgy about it all too. Now I would pull up a chair and join her [well, maybe with a trowel to pretend I was weeding and a large wine in a mug but...enjoy it all the same].

Ollivander84 · 19/06/2017 22:20

My neighbour does the ironing on her front drive when it's hot
Today another neighbour had a giant paddling pool in the front garden complete with mini one full of ice and cans. I was incredibly jealous Grin

MrsOverTheRoad · 19/06/2017 22:21

Does she keep coal in her bath?

flimflaminurjams · 19/06/2017 22:22

Chloe84 - "Quickest way to get rats" hahaha that made me chuckle.

That's why we have ferrets and Manchester Terriers up North you know - to eat the rats.