Am I being a terrible snob?

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

SMIL and FIL coming to stay for week soon which is an annual event. They are in all lovely and no trouble apart from the fact they watch every single soap going .

I admit I am not great with guests and I struggle having people in my space for long periods. We are also a large blended family so the house will be full (not relevant).

SMIL is a lovely northern lady who lives in an area where everyone is in and out of each other's houses, everyone knows that each other and it's a small area we live down south in a big area and very much keep to ourselves - we know most of our neighbours and are friendly but that's about it. I hate people turning up "unannounced".

We have no front garden (Victorian semi) just a very narrow path at the front of the house and a low wall dividing it from the pavement.

We do however have a (small) back garden which gets plenty of sun.

SMIL insists on taking a dining room chair and sitting on the front "path" and resting her legs on the wall with the front door wide open saying hello to anyone who walks past.

I know there are bigger things going on right now but AIBU to really hate her doing this as it's seems a bit "common" and prefer her to use the back which is private? I know she's not hurting anyone but I hate having my front door wide open (I will be at work some of the time). I need to chill out don't I?

I would be mortified if someone did this outside my house. If that makes me a snob, so be it!
I doubt my neighbours would give a fuck though to be honest.

I'm Northern. I hate it. Don't know how you'd stop her doing it without offending her though.

I am northern and I dont think i have ever seen anyone sitting in the front.

Clearly I must live in a bubble.

However...it seems to be a done thing in london but mainly with eastern european men.

I must have lived a sheltered life as when i moved I remember being shocked their was men drinking in the street.

I had no idea this was a "northern thing"

I would rather clench my butt cheeks and put up with it than offend her.

His family all think I am "posh" because I have a "posh" accent .

Not her though TBF I probably get on with her the best

And now you're starting on the traveling community?

YABU to use the term "common". It means anything that is commonly engaged with by the working class. Originates from a time when people still referred to others as 'the working class'.

And yes, you are being a snob and you're not posh. A truly posh person wouldn't even flinch and definitely wouldn't care about what the neighbours thought.

In the interest of Health & Safety, I hope she's in the shade - or at least plastered in Factor 50 - or else chatting with the locals will be the least of your problems.

jam Sitting out front of your house is one of the very few things about northern life that really irks me!!!

I'm the opposite - it's one of the few things I love, as a southerner living in the north.
I think with tightly packed terraced housing it's "necessary" if you want to sit in the sun, as the back garden/yard may be in shade at least some of the time.

I live in the deep south-east, and people on the village main street sit outside their houses (no front gardens) when it's nice. Everyone says hello as they go past.

Your SMIL sounds a good laugh.

How was I starting on the travelling community?

We have a massive settled travelling community here - they are the only people I have seen do this down south when I lived on another estate that had a high population of settled travellers - that's not starting in them that's stating a fact.

Where did I state I am posh or middle class or any class?

I openly said I was being a snob.

People will do anything for a fight on here.

Honestly? If she was my mother in law, I'd also feel uncomfortable, but conversely, if I saw her, she'd make me smile and I'd say hi or chat.

FFS why do people keep saying this is a Northern thing. Working class people in the North do it and working class people in the South do it. It has fuck all to do with where you are in the country.

Stop trying to cover your blatant snobbery and class judging with referring to all things 'working class' as Northern. If you weren't so try hard lower middle class, it wouldn't bother you. My god OP, you live in a semi with a high crime rate. Get a grip.

I understand completely what you're saying. Sitting outside the front door just isn't 'nice' and I agree with a PP who said it's on the same level as men taking their shirts off in hot weather. But for the sake of harmony I would just suck it up as it's just a visit.

• within an area with a high crime rate

Yes I am trying to be really try hard middle class by posting I live in an area with higher crime and wtf is wrong with living in a semi?

I had my dinner outside my front door today, and yesterday actually. I want you to know that I sat at a table and ate with cutlery. Roast chicken dinner yesterday. By the way I was brought up in St John's Wood, a very posh part of London. I therefore believe I am a really posh person who cares nothing for what neughbours may think. We posh people are allowed our eccentricities.

Ha. I've just come in from sitting out front with a bottle of ale. I was enjoying the slight cool if the evening. Several passers by said hi. My front door was open.

Clearly I'm far commoner than I thought!

I'm working class, northern and common. I still hate it. Is that allowed?

I'm from South Wales and it was very common for the Mams to do this of an evening when us kids were playing out on the street. We were a tad irked by it, to be honest, they cramped our style.

Once when I was young and finished uni, living in a crappy flat and heeling a bit lonely, I took a book and sat out on my doorstep in the sun reading. A girl I'd noticed, who lived up the street, stopped for a chat and we ended up becoming really good friends and she introduced me to all her crowd.

I'm up north now, in a naice cul de sac in a naice village. We still occasionally sit out the front to chat to the neighbours.

I thought OP was joking ........... then I thought she'd be shot down in flames ........then I saw that people agreed with her ! Well, you live and learn. We now live in a world where an older woman, sitting in the sunshine and saying hello to the neighbours is a bad thing, somehow? I don't get it

Well I would have presumed you think it's fine as long as it's not in the North and very Northen like your DH and MIL.

And my dad..

I don't want to fight with you, OP.

You said the settled traveling community engage in something which you admittedly find "common". It's not nice to say that.

And in referring to things or people as "common", you seem to be suggesting that you are not "common" and therefore a bit posh and middle class.

Hiphop, God forbid. I'm surprised the OP will allow you on her thread.

Do you want a round of applause for having a Northern father? You are very narrow minded.
Goodnight.

*Today 21:14 TheHiphopopotamus

I'm working class, northern and common. I still hate it. Is that allowed?*

Yes, anyone can hate anything, but your language is horrible. It's just as annoying in the professionally "down to earth" as it is in people who think they're posh.