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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have not removed DS from tea room?

855 replies

OtAndBothered · 19/06/2017 18:14

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" Shock.

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

OP posts:
NC4now · 19/06/2017 18:57

It was too hot for everybody outside! That's why they were in the tea shop.
I realise it was hot for your LO.
Lesson learned.

LedaP · 19/06/2017 18:57

granny tulips is refering to the older child. You really think a 2 year old gives a shot about Harry Potter?

Creampastry · 19/06/2017 18:57

Wow! Are you having a laugh? Of course you were out of order. Jeez, the fact you don't think you are is staggering.

WorraLiberty · 19/06/2017 18:57

I can not believe I'm reading this

My blood is boiling on the other customer's behalf and I'm about as chilled as they come, when it comes to noise from kids etc.

Next time, ask for the food to be boxed up and go and find somewhere shady outside to eat it.

grannytomine · 19/06/2017 18:57

I remember one of mine waking up miserable and cranky when we were having a meal. The lovely Italian waitress decided to look after him so we could finish our meal.

PoppyFleur · 19/06/2017 18:58

It's unbelievably hot today, frankly I'm losing my sense of humour let alone a toddler.

Days such as these are designed for lidos, beaches, shady picnics or days in the garden with a paddling pool. If you absolutely had to head out to a NT property then in your shoes I would have taken a picnic and found a shady spot in the grounds.

OP chalk today down to experience and move on.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/06/2017 18:59

A National Trust Abby and tea and cake for a 2 and 4 year old in this hot weather, its mad, really more for the parents than the kids. Find something more age appropriate like a swimming pool, or splash park, or local zoo or farm and lunch at a more kiddie friendly place such as a pub, or fast food.

waitforitfdear · 19/06/2017 19:00

phoenix no more than the 'old' couple were disturbed.

Granny yes total sympathy as the op or her dh carried the toddler outside and allowed the rest of the cafe to eat in peace as 20 minutes screaming isn't a bit upset is it.

LedaP · 19/06/2017 19:00

The lovely Italian waitress decided to look after him so we could finish our meal.

Yea of course the waiter should have stopped doing his job and babysat the screaming toddler. That would have fixed.

Oh wait, the waiter was working and trying to deal with people complaining.

shrunkenhead · 19/06/2017 19:00

YANVU.

Somersetlady · 19/06/2017 19:00

You are my worst nightmare!

Definitely bu and should have left. Are you trying to tell me there wasnt a large shady tree you and your dc could have gone under to let him have his meltdown out of earshot of the poor other visitors. Your dh and well behaved chikd could have stayed to finish their lunch?

requestingsunshine · 19/06/2017 19:01

Yabvvvvvu

You went there because it was a Harry Potter thing for ds1? Your 4 year old watches Harry Potter???? Seriously?

Next time it's stinking hot buy a paddling pool and stay home . And take a picnic.

grannytomine · 19/06/2017 19:01

LedaP she said Why can't you pacify a 4 year old screaming? So I think she got it wrong don't you. It was the 2 year old screaming so they OP had no need to pacify the 4 year old who was apparently eating their lunch.

user1486915549 · 19/06/2017 19:02

I can't believe you are still disagreeing with everyone.
Incredibly selfish behaviour !
And sure.. 2 year olds just love Harry Potter !

PurpleDaisies · 19/06/2017 19:03

The lovely Italian waitress decided to look after him so we could finish our meal.

I'm guessing it was super quiet? I've never been in a restaurant where one of the staff could stop working without everyone else having to work harder or the customers waiting longer for food.

Trb17 · 19/06/2017 19:03

You were in the wrong I'm afraid.

Common courtesy to go outside and away from any outside diners.

I think you know you were in the wrong don't you really.

20thcenturybitch · 19/06/2017 19:03

You were being appallingly unreasonable. We have all been there, you try to do something nice with the family and it spectacularly backfires. It sucks, but that's parenting!

But as many before me have suggested the only acceptable response to this after a couple of minutes when it became obvious you weren't winning, was to take turns quickly finishing lunch with DC1 while other parent walks screaming DC2 outside and then pay the bill swiftly and leave.

Please learn from this and don't be THAT parent again. This happened to us a couple of times. You know what we did? (After doing what I described above and not having much fun). Stuck to packed lunches until the DC grew out of it and were able to behave regardless of temperature or any other factors.

missymayhemsmum · 19/06/2017 19:03

Why didn't your DH take his son to the gents in the cafe where he could have wet him down in the basin, strip him off and let him either calm him down or scream himself to sleep in the pushchair while you and the rest of the tearoom had a peaceful lunch? Honestly, some fathers.

Yes, YABU totally unreasonable. So is he, as he is also an equal parent, presumably.

whatthehell33 · 19/06/2017 19:03

If ds was so distressed why did you not just go home? Sounds like the tea room would have been happy to wrap your meal for you. Yes you were being unreasonable.

WhingingTulip · 19/06/2017 19:04

OP I don't think you were being unreasonable at all and am shocked at some of the rude and intolerant people on here - guess the hot weather is bringing out the worst in everyone Shock

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 19/06/2017 19:04

Phoenixtherabbit I grew up in a county close to the equator. Parents take their dc out when it's cooler - basically evening time or if you're lucky after a good thunderstorm. There's no urgency to go out midday incase you 'miss the nice weather' because it's hotter than hell all the time.

Rossigigi · 19/06/2017 19:05

You were unreasonable to take two young children out like this on the hottest day of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crispsheets · 19/06/2017 19:05

Well that went well op.

Katedotness1963 · 19/06/2017 19:05

Was there a toilet you could have taken him to? Bring a face cloth on days out so you can run cool water over it and hold it to his forehead or the back of his neck to cool down. Also, running cold water over their wrists will help cool them down. Baby wipes are great for getting rid of the sweaty/miserable feeling. Put a little water in a bottle and freeze it before a day out. Top it up before you leave for cool drinks. If it's wee ones there's a black and decker snake fan that you can wind round the pushchair that blows a little air on them (at leat they had them when my boys were little).

grannytomine · 19/06/2017 19:05

PurpleDaisies, not really no, it was a seaside restaurant and they catered for families, we used it for most of the week because it was family friendly. They obviously factored in that sometimes families need a bit of support. It was clearly popular so it seemed good business.