To have not removed DS from tea room?

[OtAndBothered]

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" .

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

Nina, she's been gone for a very, very long time, have you only just noticed??? I don't think she'll be back.

"But she was clearly mortified at the reaction she got"

She didnt seem that bothered to me.

She did, she admitted she was wrong and said she wouldn't do it again. What do you expect, half a dozen mea culpas???

Wow-that's incredibly selfish of you! Why would everyone else in the tearoom want to listen to your son? You take him outside. Yes he'll still cry in the heat, but he won't be ruining everyone else's lunch-that's the main point!

"Ok fair enough. I'll do it differently next time."

And thats mortified to you, is it? You have a very low boundary for mortified!

Ok, what do you expect from her? And when will you leave it and move on to the next AIBU post? You've got her promise not to do it again.
Anyway, she isn't listening, is she, so what are you gaining by ranting at a non-existent poster? Tell me that.

I think, if she'd gone all weepy, and said she was a terrible person, you wouldn't have believed her, would you? And she won't apologise to you, will she? You weren't there!!

Do you want her to post footage of her beating herself up?

What WERE you thinking, trying to have a nice day out with your family? You should just stay at home on a hot day so you don't annoy anyone else!

Cannot believe the amount of people saying YABU. It couldn't be helped and the people in the cafe sound like nasty, rude dicks. I would have had only sympathy for you - it's very stressful having a hot, fussy child. Ignore the nasty comments on here, if you'd posted from the point of view of one of the customers they'd have told you you were in the wrong too so I wouldn't worry too much.

The OP is very unreasonable. She should have stuck around and still be arguing.
The cheek.

Lol, I love that! Now there is someone else that people can rant at, for defending the op. I predict another 20 pages of YABUs. Anybody want a bet at how long this will go on for??
I do think the posters just love to rant YABU at the op!

'Tis but a flesh wound, OP! Stand up and fight!

Ok, youre all right, a "ok I was wrong" is utter cringing mortification, I see that now, the OP will probably need councilling.

I make it a rule that all OPs who concede that they were unreasonable should also post this.

I really mean, she's agreed, what exactly do you want to hear from her? And why does it matter so much, when there are so many awful things happening?

I think its hilarious that you're all still shouting WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HER! I havent asked for anything from her, in fact youre all the only ones keeping this going, insisting other people want something no-one is asking for, and the OP has been gone for days.

What do YOU all want? And why does it matter so much to YOU?

"The OP is very unreasonable. She should have stuck around and still be arguing.
The cheek."

Absolutely, @Lweji!

Because not it makes MN a mean and unhelpful environment if five hundred people are determined to keep yelling "You are being unreasonable! You are selfish and entitled! You are a bad and abusive parent to those poor children! You are WRONG!" to someone who's already said that she was wrong and won't do it again. How exactly is that making parents' lives easier?

That's what I was getting at really. I'm just curious really, what would be sufficient contrition from the op? (You said she didn't sound like she cared after all.)

I admit, it becomes addictive after a while, to keep arguing your point. It probably is time to leave this alone, and see if Groundhog Day is still continuing tomorrow, on page 50!!

53rd, but youre the only one yelling.....No-one has said anything nearly as nasty as that for a really long time, except you.

People have been saying nasty stuff, including all caps yelling, for the entire lengthy ridiculous thread. I'm sorry if you feel that pointing that out is "yelling" and being "nasty"?

Fuck's sake, this is stupid. Enjoy your punching bag, and I hope the OP can send us a nice postcard from the gulags she so rightly deserves once she gets there.

The last all-caps yelling was Tuesday afternoon, Ive just scrolled up and checked for my own satisfaction :D And I only said yelling because you said yelling. And saying someone is abusive was nasty when it was first said, and is still nasty when you quote it.

Oh dear God in heaven.

I apologise wholeheartedly to the great wrong I have committed to the hallowed halls of AIBU by mentioning something from yesterday. I also apologise for criticising what someone else said, which I see now is exactly the same as being nasty myself by mentioning it. I deeply apologise for believing that people are being a bit unhelpfully harsh to an OP who has already seen the error of her ways; I understand now that no amount of "okay yes, I was BU" can ever ever be enough. I will retreat to the gulags along with the OP, and join her in devoting the rest of our lives to hard labour, in the vain hopes that one day we might finally reach the great achievement of Being Sorry Enough.

Also I did think that people still kicking the OP might actually want to know that she'd already admitted she was wrong, but I've certainly learned my lesson on that!

Or maybe just accept that you've basically hijacked the thread to admonish people for continuing to post; and stop posting yourself?

No, it's not a site for mums really, 53rdWay, I get the impression that most posters are either childless or their children grew up years ago and they're remembering the days when they were small through rose-tinted glasses. Both my DM and MIL are like this.

I don't see all that many posters who are actually mums of young children. They are more often than not the op, who posters then gang up on and tell they're being U. It's a site where mums are criticised and attacked, not supported.

I'm hopefully not going to be seen as nasty with this post. (Funny how you don't like that, though, StormTreader, when you're quite happy to be harsh to the OP. Maybe you can understand why the OP left the discussion early.)