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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have not removed DS from tea room?

855 replies

OtAndBothered · 19/06/2017 18:14

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" Shock.

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

OP posts:
BigYellowJumper · 21/06/2017 08:23

Ohhhhhh user1495025590 has a life and she doesn't need to read threads before she comments.

She does NEED to comment though. Instead of just thinking 'hmm, maybe my opinion is one of 100000000 here and I could just not bother and go and make some jam or mend that leaking tap instead'.

nannybeach · 21/06/2017 08:32

Hardly rocket science kids of 2 and 4 on a really hot day, you think they are going to enjoy going round an abbey, really!!! Absolutely well done HTK you hit the nail on the head!

LittleBooInABox · 21/06/2017 08:32

In restaurants and cafes when a child is screaming you leave. You don't unconvinced other people with your screaming child, just because you wanted to finish your lunch. You were being unreasonable.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 08:33

Wow what a revelation that post is

Areyoufree · 21/06/2017 08:47

Must...stop...reading...can't...look...away...

PinkCrystal · 21/06/2017 09:13

Yabu. I spent many years with younger DC having to take them out of places. Par for the course and considerate. I wouldn't stay and spoil experience for others. Taking him outside he may have screamed but people expect that outside not when have paid to have lunch inside.

6kids2dogs · 21/06/2017 09:23

You should have ate in shifts & taken the screaming child outside - I know it's hot outside, but others shouldn't have to put up with that. There are always options... It's not that I don't feel for your situation, I do, but you/we chose to have kids & we shouldn't force others to put up with them at their worst

53rdWay · 21/06/2017 09:53

FUN FACT: If you work out how long Bill Murray's character spends reliving the same day in Groundhog Day, it adds up to eight and a half years.

shuangnick · 21/06/2017 10:13

I'm with u . if someone feels uncomfortable, she can get outside. is there any rule in the tea room said that no admission for children? or is there any sign in the room tells you to keep ur baby quiet? if there is ,I'm afraid u should work out a solution. but there isn't. anyway, why doesn't waiter help u to comfort the crying baby? eg turn on the airconditioner or electric fan and so on. he did nothing!even he tries to push u away! what an awful and terrible service! u are the customer and the customer is the god! it will never happen in China.

nina2b · 21/06/2017 10:30

When did people start using ghastly text-speak in posts? Please stop now.

Dizzy2009 · 21/06/2017 10:32

You clearly read the op's original comment and had time to comment yourself so it wouldn't take long at all to discover that the op hasn't been on here since Saturday!

No, I'm not head prefect, but I'm allowed to point out how silly it is to keep attacking someone who isn't here anymore.

Op also admitted to being unreasonable and said she wouldn't do it again.

Groundhog Day sums this up!

BigYellowJumper · 21/06/2017 10:35

nina That poster is clearly a non-native speaker so perhaps ease off a little.

Chloe84 · 21/06/2017 10:36

FUN FACT: If you work out how long Bill Murray's character spends reliving the same day in Groundhog Day, it adds up to eight and a half years.

53rd love that film! I've heard that he may even have been trapped in that day for hundreds of years 🤔

Chloe84 · 21/06/2017 10:38

When did people start using ghastly text-speak in posts? Please stop now.

Who made you thread police Nina?

VerityHabitat · 21/06/2017 10:41

I am with nina

Stop the text speak tomfoolery.

nina2b · 21/06/2017 10:41

Oh but text-speak is not the norm on fora used by adults, though.

PuckeredAhole · 21/06/2017 10:42

You should have gone home OP is that so difficult to comprehend?

This is what I've had to do. With kids you need to be flexible. One time my dh was in the restaurant with our 3 year old and I was outside with my unsettled and screaming 1 year old. He had already ordered drinks but I phoned him to pay up and we went home without lunch because she wouldn't have settled. Shit happens.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 10:43

She comprehended it days ago

BigYellowJumper · 21/06/2017 10:44

nina So? Will it kill u to read non-standard English?

puckered She comprehended about 20 pages ago.

Chloe84 · 21/06/2017 10:47

Oh but text-speak is not the norm on fora used by adults, though.

How rude to tell someone what they can and can't post though. Wonder how MNHQ see it.

zeeboo · 21/06/2017 10:48

Worried the child would have febrile fits yet took them on an adults day out with no shade or water play on one of the hottest days of the year.
Nice try OP. With drip feeding it is best to drip things that aren't totally unlikely.

startwig1982 · 21/06/2017 10:57

Nothing useful to add except that we love Lacock and go regularly. The gardens/orchard are fab for letting off steam and are pretty cool. Plus the park across the road and the lovely tea room.

Dizzy2009 · 21/06/2017 11:04

I was gobsmacked that op posted what she did, she must have expected a rollicking from the perfect parents brigade and the anti kids' noise brigade that love to come on here and shout YABU!!!

Not that she wasn't U at all, she made a very bad mistake and should have left the tearoom. I'm very self-conscious so I would have left straightaway. But she was clearly mortified at the reaction she got and admitted that she handled it badly. It sounds like the 2 year old was very tired as he was intermittently falling asleep so he was never going to calm down.

I must admit, tearooms are tricky and I never took my DDs to them when they were toddlers, as it was so hard to keep them still. I always chose soft play places or park cafes, anywhere that's family friendly.

nina2b · 21/06/2017 11:09

It seems the OP has gone. How surprising... although I suppose she might have headed off somewhere hot and sticky for a leisurely lunch.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 21/06/2017 11:10

Start you love la cock.