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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have not removed DS from tea room?

855 replies

OtAndBothered · 19/06/2017 18:14

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" Shock.

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

OP posts:
sorbet · 20/06/2017 16:55

Well if they fuck up, and like the OP don't know that they are fucking up, then they need to be told. Otherwise where and how do you draw the line? The selfish would take over everything.

It isn't for you to decide if the ruined meal/ peace is a big deal or not, when you know nothing about the other people there. But that is the point, you don't care so you dont care... Selfish.

sorbet · 20/06/2017 16:56

above post replying to bigyellowjumper!!!

BigYellowJumper · 20/06/2017 16:57

She said about 1 million posts up that she realises she made a mistake.

Are you this tenacious in real life? If so, do you have any friends?

sorbet · 20/06/2017 17:02

hello - talking to other people too. Having a wider debate!!

And love the hypocrisy of asking if posters if they have friends when a) you are also here posting repeatedly

and b) mentioning a supportive environment whilst personally attacking others

Guess that is what some people resort to when they their arguments can't withstand debate :)

StormTreader · 20/06/2017 17:03

"It's just not that big a fucking deal. The kid cried. It was noisy. So? No one died did they."

Maybe we should have 100 kids blowing trumpets directly into your living room? After all, kids need to have fun, and no-one would die, would they? Or maybe we could try thinking about what works for other people as well.

LesLavandes · 20/06/2017 17:05

BYJ. Who are you speaking to?

53rdWay · 20/06/2017 17:08

OP posted this yesterday afternoon. So various posters have now been yelling at her about it for over 60x longer than the toddler was crying in the first place.

Lweji · 20/06/2017 17:08

she ruined other people's lunches

Did the molecules disintegrate? Sauces break? Salads cooked?

LesLavandes · 20/06/2017 17:10

Lweji. Funny . Hmmm

LesLavandes · 20/06/2017 17:12

Pathetic comment

Lweji · 20/06/2017 17:13

Ahhh. Thank you.

BigYellowJumper · 20/06/2017 17:13

what 53 said.

My number and or lack thereof of friends has nothing to do with my posting frequency.

I meant rather that if you harp on and on and ON about how UR people are irl, you may find yourself somewhat isolated.

BigYellowJumper · 20/06/2017 17:13

lweji

Pathetic. That's you told.

Lweji · 20/06/2017 17:16
Grin

I really should be marking students work. This is more entertaining.

sorbet · 20/06/2017 17:25

Well you see that is it isn't it. Some of you are just happy to take the piss out of others and don't give a shit. Others of us care about other people and don't want to see others having a crap time because of a few selfish people.

But no Lweji and BYJ , I'm sure people so set in their ways as you a seem to be will never change.

Chloe84 · 20/06/2017 17:26

Lweji agrees with us. Now I'm sure we're right Smile

BigYellowJumper · 20/06/2017 17:32

Actually sorbet as I've said countless times, I would have taken my kids out.

However, I have also fucked up as a parent, watched others fuck up and doubtless will again.

Where did you get the perfect parent manual that meant you never put a foot wrong?

Dizzy2009 · 20/06/2017 17:33

I've read the whole thread, and I've found it hilarious! I do agree that the op was unreasonable and I'm amazed that she dared to ask the question on mumsnet where there are always a lot of very judgy posters who love to lay into ops that they consider unreasonable.

Then the op admitted to being unreasonable and made it clear she wouldn't do it again. But you're all still here ranting at her??? It's like bullies in the playground.

It's why I've never done an AIBU post lol.

Lweji · 20/06/2017 17:40

I thought everyone was unreasonable (my first post).

Dizzy2009 · 20/06/2017 17:55

I think people get carried away on mumsnet, and try and outdo each other in their bitchiness. It's certainly what's happened here.
To reiterate, I'm not saying the op was right, so don't rant at me lol!!

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 20/06/2017 18:03

Sorbet you certainly don't care about the OP having a hard time

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 20/06/2017 18:04

Utter twattery is rife on this thread.

Dizzy2009 · 20/06/2017 18:06

Except that she's not here so you're just wasting your time. You're all being unreasonable now, and childish, not the op, who admitted she was wrong and has moved on.

Dizzy2009 · 20/06/2017 18:09

It's called bullying pure and simple, ganging up on someone.

SeasideSinger · 20/06/2017 18:57

Yabu sorry