To have not removed DS from tea room?

[OtAndBothered]

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" .

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

Ywbu but more because it was totally unfair on your child to be made to be out where it was so hot that he couldn't settle. We all knew how hot it was yesterday, I wouldn't have put my 6yo dd in that position so why would you think it's ok for a 2yo. Yeah some kids cope with the heat but you must know your child well enough to know that that must have been no fun for him!

People are "hostile" because the OP put her "rights" before the rights of OTHER customers. Grrrrrrrr

The people who are ordering people off the thread are annoying me more than the 'horrible' ones actually.

If you feel the thread shouldn't be posted on report it and get it locked or something.

But most threads run to a few pages and you don't get to say RIGHT ENOUGH NOW MOVE ON

National Trust park totally devoid of TREES!? Where is this curiosity?

Hmmmm

53

clear no one's ordering anyone off anything, but it's not like anyone is adding anything new.

nina the right to a quiet cup of tea is sadly not yet part of the UN's charter. I have high hopes though.

I'm sorry but you were being unreasonable. You said yourself the sound was echoing off the walls. There are lots of hot countries in the world with toddlers this is not a problem specific to you alone.
If I was you I would have either wet his face and gone outside in the shade with him to calm him down or asked for a takeaway and headed home.

I can't believe how harsh some posters are being.
There was a crying child for 20 mins. It's hardly the end of the world. Yes it's annoying, but it's life and I'm sure it wasn't much fun for the OP either.
Would I have taken them out in her shoes? Probably not, however OP did and the result was a crying baby, not some devil in disguise throwing bricks at people.

YABU. Look at the forecast and plan accordingly. Don't visit quiet, relaxing places with little children who are likely to get excessively hot, tired & grumpy. Tea shops are known to be somewhere you go to have a quiet hour with some peace. It's not a location to take a small child if they are not in the mood to sit quietly. It's not their fault. It is yours. You need to have respect for others. And it sounds like you spoilt everyone else's lunch which you did not have the right to do.

The unreasonable was not so much the tea room. We've all been there. Everyone was hot and prone to grumpiness yesterday.
It was taking them out at all on a trip that required a car trip with no aircon when you had a history of childhood convulsions yourself.
And yes, take them outside to a shady spot - there will have been some shade.

I think many of us have felt guilty about our small children yelling in a public place. Therefore, the opportunity to gather round someone who did worse and throw rocks at her is just too tempting for some to bear.

clear nobody's ordering you not to post, but what is the point of posting just to berate the OP further? She's admitted she was being unreasonable several hundred posts ago! What's the point of another three hundred posts laying into her? What do these people hope to achieve?

YANBU

I would have hated it in that tea room, the crying would have ruined my lunch. But babies exist and they cry and sometimes they exist and cry in the environment I am in. It's part of living on Earth.

So no, as somebody who would have probably left after 10 mins I don't think you are being unreasonable and when I was leaving I would have done my utmost to catch your eye and smile (even though I might be annoyed because I am only human).

53rdWay

hahaha

Does anyone live near Lacock Abbey? I wonder if the staff will remember her...

53 is it me or is 2024 only 7 years from now he might still be crying in cafes

53rdWay "Picture the scene: It's the year 2024. OP's toddler is now a grown man."

He'll be 9 yrs old.

He'll be 9 yrs old. And probably skidding along the cafe floor on a tray.

And that young woman will still be feeling the pain, her crippling fear of tea rooms meaning she can only eat lunch at Burger King.

You let him cry for 10 minutes because you were too stubborn to go? Thats cruel to him let alone other people. Could you not have put a wet paper towel on his neck or wet his hair down with water?? DH, waiter, other customers disagreed but youre sure you're right

Dear god people are TYPING IN CAPITALS THAT YOU SHOULD SHOUT AT TODDLERS NOW!!

I don't have any toddlers but as soon as I get hold of one its going into a tea room and crying, sod the lot of you.

I don't have any toddlers but as soon as I get hold of one its going into a tea room and crying, sod the lot of you.

Very mature post, Staples. Not. Quite toddlerlike, in fact.

I will just reiterate my point that maybe the other people at the tea room had gone there specifically to be quiet and to escape the noisy families that surround them at home. Not everyone is lucky enough to live in a quiet location or a detached house.

Speaking from experience with illness & disability to struggle with consider, sometimes the only place we can go is a quiet tea room to escape and try to have a bit of a nice time once in a blue moon.

We can't manage to walk to an isolated spot or even around the NT properties, (perhaps like the elderly couple) and so naice tea rooms it is... and oh the luxury of having someone bring you a cup of tea! I could cry with gratitude sometimes just for that because the rest of life is such a struggle.

So maybe a lunchtime ruined by noisy children IS actually a big deal for some people.

And my local library allows noise and is full of groups, so quiet spaces are rare and precious.

We are all still piling on about this lack of consideration becasue to some people it really, really does matter.

He'll be 9 yrs old.

All right! I was going for 2042, I think - either that or this thread has made me lose track of all time and space.

Staples you can borrow mine. In fact, borrow me! I bet I could work up one hell of a cafe tantrum by now.

We are all still piling on about this lack of consideration becasue to some people it really, really does matter.

But the OP's already said she was being unreasonable. What more do you want her to do? What added benefit do you think will be converted by being the 483rd person to tell her off for the thing she's already agreed she was wrong to do?

I had some sympathy until you made the comment about the waiter...
Sorry but your kid, your problem. I am sick of going to places where selfish parents let their kids scream the place down because it is their right and they are expressing themselves.

Way more people read threads than just the OP 53rd, and way more than who comment.

Perhaps other people will read the comments and think twice about their own behaviour - I hope so