To have not removed DS from tea room?

[OtAndBothered]

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" .

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

'I think I probably would have just taken them home, it can't have been enjoyable for anyone by that point. I think sometimes you have to cut your losses'.

I agree with this. Even if you forget all the staff & customers, your ds had clearly had enough.

However I would have empathised with you, not shot you looks! But, I have a 2yo

Day trip on such a hot day with nowhere to cool off clearly not a great idea, but we've all had those days where we realise something in retrospect.

'GET DOWN ONTO THEIR LEVEL AND EXPLAIN TO THEM IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, FIRMLY BUT CALMLY & NOT AGGRESSIVELY, THAT THEY ARE BEING VERY NAUGHTY AND UPSETTING OTHER PEOPLE!!!! IF THEY CONTINUE THIS BEHAVIOUR, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCE

I'm sorry, but if you believe that, you have zero idea about how toddler brains work.'

Did someone really suggest this!?Completely agree, you have zero idea! It is a bit sad how little some people seem to know about age appropriate expectations for children. Just take them home, they're overwhelmed.

Justdon'tgetitatall, my child has been has been at that stage for years and there is not a chance that would work.

As an owner of a 2 year old, you got to get them out when they're screaming. If they want to scream, then it's done outside.

If I'd been in that Nstional Trust tearoom, I might have taken the child out for you 😐

And I appauld whoever can reason with their 2 year old mid tantrum. Perhaps you could train mine 😂

Anyone who berates the OP after this post has a tiny brain.

Line ------

Just adding another YABVU.

It's unbelievably annoying to hear screaming, whinging children when you just want to bloody eat - restaurants, cafes, whatever. Show some courtesy and remove them ffs!

Sounds to me like the kids are too young to behave appropriately in public so maybe don't attempt that again until they're older...

Found one finally !

Thank you for your post, tiny brained INeedANameChange

Wow judging by the amount of people who have come to say YABU and have a go at the OP this has to be the most unreasonable thing anyone has ever done EVER! Yes ok it would be annoying if you were in a cafe and a kid was making a noise but it's really not the end of the world is it!!!!

Ineedanamechange so, what? She keeps them inside until they can be seen and not heard?!?!?!

Crying can be irritating but what makes your behavior of sitting there, making nasty little bitch comments under your breath and insisting a crying child be removed out of your way any better?

You clearly find it easier to be nasty than nice. That's really not something to be proud of.

Sounds unfair to the op. I do think it was madness taking a small child to a confined space in this weather but I am really surprised at how hostile people have been to the op. Haven't we all been there? Whenever I hear a screaming child I usually think "there but for the grace of god today".

Were you trying to be more unreasonable than OP justdontgetit?

OP tbh I think the most important thing here, infinitely more important than anyone's lunch, is that if you have concerns that a child might get a seizure due to heat, you cannot possibly make a habit of taking them out in cars with no air con in that kind of heat. That could have ended much more seriously than annoyed bystanders. We all make mistakes, but you have to be responsible.

WHY WILL NOBODY THINK OF THE POOR ,OVERRULED LITTLE HUSBAND?
We are ancient and do not support the tearooms at that big horticultural garden/ playcentre in Surrey anymore because of this problem.
Children sliding on the tea trays, I kid you not,with oblivious parents ignoring the screeching and hullabaloo.

Children sliding on tea trays? In a tearoom? In Surrey ?

Pass the smelling salts.

Wait a minute- you had no aircon in the car and you took them out! That is insane.

how very dare you

Bigyellow,you would be to slackjawed if you saw thisbehaviour, for salts to take any effect!

Yes,especially Surrey,the home of entitlement.(Everyone,down to cats and dogs )

OP please say you left a generous tip for the waiter, who had to deal with complaining customers who actually got up and left because of you.

you still haven't addressed the absolute cheek of blaming the waiter for your childs tantrum for clattering plates. what the actual fuck do you expect the waiter to do. stop clearing anyone else's plates for your child. again showing you think you and your childs needs come above everyone else's.

OP please say you left a generous tip for the waiter,

Did she fuck. She was actually pissed off he was doing his job and until she posted here thought she was being entirely reasonable!

moon hehe, I definitely would be, it was just a funny image.

Damn guys, OP realised she was in the wrong, no need to keep sticking the boot in.

Today 00:00 arsenalwatford

OMG the waiter made a noise? FFS I cannot be believe the whole cafe didn't get on their knees and sing a soft lullaby whilst fanning your baby to sleep whilst you enjoyed your lunch.

A Natural Trust park with no trees or shade anywhere? yeah right! The obvious solution was to take him out in the pram find a shady spot and get him to sleep! simple really

Picture the scene: It's the year 2024. OP's toddler is now a grown man. OP and family have long since moved on from the miserable lunch. And yet on Mumsnet, this thread is at 72,412 posts and still going: "I don't CARE if she said she was BU, she doesn't look sorry enough to me! OP, did you track down everyone you inconvenienced and promise to make them sandwiches for the next fourteen years? DID YOU? I bet you didn't, you entitled cow!"