Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To have not removed DS from tea room?

855 replies

OtAndBothered · 19/06/2017 18:14

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" Shock.

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

OP posts:
Sunnymorningwithbacon · 19/06/2017 19:23

Aren't the HP films a bit old for a 4 year old?

Only1scoop · 19/06/2017 19:24

Great first post BTW

grannytomine · 19/06/2017 19:24

LedaP, I didn't say the waiter should. I was empathizing, you know I could understand what it was like to be in a restaurant with a cranky 2 year old, well I think mine was more like 18 months to be strictly honest. I was just lucky that the place I was in was more sympathetic. I've entertained a crying baby in a local restaurant when a frantic mum was trying to cope with two kids and hopefully get something to eat herself. I was waiting for my food to arrive so offered to take him. I think he was so surprised he stopped crying and then found it quite funny when my husband started pulling faces at him.

God it is hard having little ones at times, grown adults having temper tantrums really doesn't help.

ThymeLord · 19/06/2017 19:24

OP said on page 5 "I'll do it differently next time". Don't let that get in the way of the pile on though.

2014newme · 19/06/2017 19:24

Lacock abbey was used for filming Harry Potter but no exhibition

Lweji · 19/06/2017 19:24

Living and have grown up in a hot country I have to agree that taking very small children for, let's be honest, boring stuff for them in the heat is not a good idea.

Having said that, I do think the other people in the tea room were unreasonable.
I have more sympathy towards crying babies and their parents than grumpy adults with no manners.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 19/06/2017 19:25

I think you should be arrested.

Alternatively people here and in tearoom ahould calm the fuck down slightly

cushioncovers · 19/06/2017 19:25

Get your air con fixed pronto and choose better days out op. Small tearooms full of older people and freshly prepared food that often takes a while to be served and a hot grizzly toddler is recipe for disaster. Picnics, Macdonalds and Weatherspoon type pubs are your best bet when you have small kids. Should of gone swimming had an ice cream and put a DVD on.

Sirzy · 19/06/2017 19:25

Thanks 2014 that makes it an even odder choice for a 4 year old "fan" then.

paxillin · 19/06/2017 19:25

Are four year olds really that interested in Harry Potter,especially in a heat wave?

Like the rest of this trip, it sounds like it was for the parents' benefit. HP was originally aimed at children of Harry's age, so 10 at book 1. I know quite a few 7 and 8 year olds who read it, but no 4 year olds. The movies are not for age 4 either. HP and the Abbey and the tearoom are not destinations for toddlers.

LedaP · 19/06/2017 19:26

granny what's your point about the italian waitress then?

38cody · 19/06/2017 19:27

take him out - you had another adult - go with him to a shady spot with an ice lolly. presumably you had a buggy to walk him to sleep in?
If not, just GO HOME - it's too hot, trips not working out - he's miserable, just go home.
Sorry but YABU - the world does not revolve around your child.

ThymeLord · 19/06/2017 19:27

Our car is so old it doesn't have air con. Is there a number I should ring to report myself?

supermoon100 · 19/06/2017 19:27

Finally - totally agree. Op I'm on your side, you have every right to stay in that cafe and take your kids to a national trust house. Jeez are you really not meant to venture outside in a heat wave with small kids?

PocaMiseria · 19/06/2017 19:28

@ Grilledaubergines Mon 19-Jun-17 19:08:08

"I'm finding it funny though that people are latching on to the lack of working air con in the car, as if that should render a car journey on a hot day an impossibility."

It's not that it makes a necessary car journey an impossibility, but if your air con is working it's an easy way to get a child into a cool and calming atmosphere. Making an unnecessary trip out on a day like today to a place that is not particularly "toddler friendly" with two children under the age of four in an overheated car (I dread to think what the temperature inside it will have been by the time they returned to it - they are unlikely to have been able to park in the shade) - is a recipe for disaster. As the OP discovered. Unfortunately her entitled attitude when things went pear-shaped due to her lack of forethought also meant that other people were inconvenienced.

1bighappyfamily · 19/06/2017 19:28

YWBVU. I would have taken him out and found a tree. Unless the NT place was in the Sahara, you could have found shade. Probably would have been a lot less riled up too.

DD2 (3yo) can throw EPIC tantrums. The only two times I have not removed her immediately were once on a plane aged about 15 mos (she wasn't back on one for a year) and for four stops on the tube on Saturday where thankfully the train was so loud she could hardly be heard.

You should have taken him out

JustDanceAddict · 19/06/2017 19:28

Should've taken him out into shade and given him water

shrunkenhead · 19/06/2017 19:28

Yes, HP is too old and scary for 4 year olds. The mind boggles...

Sunnyrain69 · 19/06/2017 19:29

I grew up in a hot country where today's weather would be considered a mild spring day but everywhere is air conditioned. You also do not tend to go out with young children to places that are not unless it is a lido
or beach. Trips to buildings and ruins etc are for winter entertainment for children. On the hotter days children generally stay indoors between 11-3

I think it very unreasonable that you made the customers suffer and allowed your child get so u comfortably hot it cried so much. A simple wet down in the bathroom could have solved it all. I cannot believe how entitled some people are, you are bvvvu and selfish .

GladAllOver · 19/06/2017 19:29

Having said that, I do think the other people in the tea room were unreasonable.
So the temper of one child was more important than the comfort of a room full of other guests, their missed meals, wasted food, lost business.
Where do you selfish people come from?

IvorHughJarrs · 19/06/2017 19:30

Generally I sympathise with parents too Lweji but the fact that several people complained and the waiter was apologising to others suggests this was more extreme than normal.

BeautyQueenFromMars · 19/06/2017 19:30

Who on earth expects a bit of peace and quiet in a public tearoom?!

kungfupannda · 19/06/2017 19:31

If it had just been a couple of minutes, I'd be inclined to think that people should have been more tolerant of a worked-up child on an unusually hot day. Having said that, I'd have taken mine out pretty sharpish, as I know how much I hate listening to screaming, so I try not to inflict it on anyone else!

But 20 minutes would have been grim for everyone listening to it, particularly the staff who didn't have the option to up and leave.

I'm assuming this was Lacock? If so, there are all sorts of places you could have taken him to cool down.

It's done now, and there's nothing you can do about it - but if it happens again, I really think you need to just get up and leave.

bakedbeansandtuna · 19/06/2017 19:31

Had you been in there first I would have went straight back out again due to the noise. This would not have been as annoying as if you cam in after though...this sort of attitude is why some people's hearts sink when they see kids enter a cafe (in case the parents are of the opinion that their needs trump everyone else's). Once the food etc is ordered you can't really send it back when the screeching starts (and parents aren't taking the kid out - or even worse, encouraging the screeching rather than trying to calm kid down if he/she is able to be calmed that it).

I guess its all a case of folk making allowances. Obviously some noise from a young child is to be expected (obv. don't have a problem with that).

Mrskeats · 19/06/2017 19:31

Parents are incredibly entitled these days
Totally awful behaviour

Swipe left for the next trending thread