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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have not removed DS from tea room?

855 replies

OtAndBothered · 19/06/2017 18:14

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" Shock.

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

OP posts:
LedaP · 19/06/2017 19:13

I'm finding it funny though that people are latching on to the lack of working air con in the car, as if that should render a car journey on a hot day an impossibility.

I dont think thats what people are saying. The OP said they didnt want to go back because there was no aircon. Then said she worries about her kids having fits if they get too hot.

If the lack of aircon was enough to stop them going back to the car. Surely it was enough to stop them going out at all.

Sunnymorningwithbacon · 19/06/2017 19:13

Does your Dp have to do what you tell him all the time? Can't he make his own decisions ?

How did you get to and from the abbey since the air con wasn't working ?

LanaDReye · 19/06/2017 19:14

YABVU.

ImperialBlether · 19/06/2017 19:14

I think some of the posters on here are suffering from heat exhaustion themselves!

Nelly5678 · 19/06/2017 19:14

Get him a hat and go outside or even home.

LightDrizzle · 19/06/2017 19:14

I've spent a fair few weeks in Italy and a lot more time in Spain. My daughter was an au-pair in Madrid for a year. I've never witnessed a toddler scream for 20 minutes amongst the sympathetic looks and gestures of fellow customers. Staff and customers are usually very welcoming towards children and much more touchy-feely than here, but like here, parents remove a persistently crying infant.
Shock horror, I've even seen staff in a Spanish restaurant very politely ask if a couple could stop their child banging something hard against his highchair tray (which they did).
YABVVVVVU.

phoenixtherabbit · 19/06/2017 19:15

I'm not sure anything thinks waitresses should deal with your children I think people are just saying sometimes they offer, which is kind.

Spain and Italy are more child friendly in many ways I think. More family orientated all together.

stitchglitched · 19/06/2017 19:15

The lack of aircon and dragging them out in the heat is mentioned is because OP herself says the reason for the screaming was that he was too hot, and the reason she wouldn't remove him from the cafe was that it was too hot and she was worried about him overheating like she had as a child. So of course it's relevant.

pickledonionspaceraider · 19/06/2017 19:15

Op I think it only fair that you would have taken your child outside, it makes it sound like you think the whole world revolves around you - and there is nothing worse than paying money to eat or go somewhere, and then be forced to listen to someones kid screaming whilst the parents sit there!

Bad parenting

grannytomine · 19/06/2017 19:15

waitforitdear, the waitress clearly liked children and was happy to help, she was happy with the tip as well!

Flyinggeese · 19/06/2017 19:15

Makes me recall being a kid and days out in a hotter than the sun Vauxhall Chevette with melting leatherette seats that burnt our legs as me and my brother sat on them, sweltering, in the back. Not fun.

Kids don't need NT day trips on days like today.

Urubu · 19/06/2017 19:15

So selfish, OP...

Underthemoonlight · 19/06/2017 19:15

🍿🍿popcorn anyone? It wouldn't be a surprise to see this in the daily mail unless it was pulled. We had one of these threads not long away and it got the same answers although they were screaming for 20minutes straight! It would have done my nut in and I would have had to say something and I have three DC.

grannytomine · 19/06/2017 19:16

It wasn't in Italy, it was in Devon. Just happened to be a family run Italian restaurant.

TeachesOfPeaches · 19/06/2017 19:17

I can't believe anyone would stay with a screaming baby in a cafe for 20 long torturous minutes

viques · 19/06/2017 19:17

As paxillin says, in very hot countries like Spain or Greece you don't really see kids during the day much, but in the evening when it gets cooler families go out, stroll around, share an icecream, chat to neighbours, and kids love it. So much more relaxed than stuffing them into a boiling hot car, driving for miles to see something they are not really interested in then dragging them into a crowded cafe and letting them feel the heat, I mean feel the hate!

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 19/06/2017 19:17

Op - aibu?
Everyone - yes
Op - I really wasn't

Why have you asked if you don't think you're in the wrong. You could have taken the kids home or to a more child friendly place. Not as if we were unaware it would be this hot

SallyCanWait · 19/06/2017 19:19

was too hot for him outside, this is the whole point! And there was nowhere I could have cooled him down!

Eh,at home!

LedaP · 19/06/2017 19:19

granny your point aviut an italiam waitress doesnt make sense.

How would the waiter have cooled down the screaming toddler? He was busy doing his actual job.

If a waitress in her own family restaurant has time to do that. Great. But this waiter was doing his actual job which was made harder by the OP and her dh.

Hulder · 19/06/2017 19:20

Anyone comparing to Spain and Italy - it's irrelevant, parents would have kept their kids at home and only gone out to eat after 8pm (or later) when it had cooled down. If you go out to eat in the evening the streets will be full of people pushing buggies and dragging tired 4 your olds around at 10pm or later.

During the day they would have been at home with the air-con on or in a paddling pool or doing something far more sensible than driving to a stately home in a car with no air con then going to a naice tea room Hmm

So yes they are more child-friendly countries but they know how to deal with heat!

MrsSkeffington · 19/06/2017 19:20

I have a two year old son who screams and misbehaves in cafes etc - do you know what I do? I don't take him out for lunch! I take picnics and snacks or time my trips to avoid food. It's only for a bit until he's older - use some common sense

GherkinSnatch · 19/06/2017 19:21

I'm surprised that no one else noticed that the reason that they were there in the first place (on the hottest day of the year, after driving in a car with no AC with children that may or may not fit in the heat) was to take a 4 year old to see a building from Harry Potter.

I know a lot of 4 year olds and I have never come across one that was able to pay enough attention to Harry Potter to give a shit about seeing a building from it. And I'm a Harry Potter fan who can't wait for my DS (also 4) to be old enough to show a proper interest in it.

RideOn · 19/06/2017 19:21

YABVU
Thats not fair ruining it for everyone else. I think you should have gone out.
Other people didnt get to enjoy their lunch but you wanted to stay until you had all finished. Very unfair.

What did you do after eating? Go out into the heat/ car /air con or no air con. It is not like you stayed inside for the weather to change.

You should have got in the car, wound the windows down and driven somewhere cool and shaded!

Your husband was right it was selfish.

Only1scoop · 19/06/2017 19:21

Dragging your DC out in a car with zero Aircon and then inflicting their understandable grouchiness on others so you can 'lunch' prior to getting back in your sweat box.
Are you thick?

Sirzy · 19/06/2017 19:22

Off topic but which Nt place has a Harry Potter exhibition? My nephew and me wokld love thag

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