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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think you don't take your dog to shit in a graveyard?

137 replies

IdentityYetToBeDiscovered · 19/06/2017 15:07

Tending baby's grave yesterday and notice a woman walk into the cemetery with a dog. Don't think much of it then notice that she is walking through the graves close to DD's stopping 6ft away, so her dog can take a dump. She just stands there with a smile on her face as her dog does it then starts clawing the grass right on an unmarked grave. When I challenge her she says 'sorry but these people are gone, and it doesn't matter'. She then walks off through the cemetery and leaves at the top obviously not come in to tend any grave just for her dog to shit. She made a great show of picking it up in front of me but still!

OP posts:
sleeponeday · 23/06/2017 00:33

Some people seem unable to separate the particular from the general

This thread was posted by a bereaved mother. Your comments might well be fine were it not on that thread. The person unable to calibrate here is you.

didofido · 23/06/2017 06:57

sleeponeday - there are two strands to this thread. (1) The deep grief of a bereaved mother, and (2) the behaviour of dog owners around graves generally.
I have commented on both.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 23/06/2017 07:05

Identity - I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. Flowers

I can't believe this is even controversial. I am assuming that all those saying they can't always control their dogs' bowels don't need to do too much cleaning up of shit in their homes and possibly their gardens Hmm If you can't trust your dog not to go in a graveyard, you don't take it there. This particular woman's behaviour was absolutely horrific and I guess the defence of it on here is an 'only on MN' thing.

didofido, stop it, please.

GreatFuckability · 23/06/2017 07:17

I'm sorry for your loss OP. It's clearly a very difficult thing for you, and I can see you are upset, as anyone would be.

that said, if English isn't this woman's first language its possible her comments were lost in translation. It's also possible she didn't see/understand the signs. Different cultures have different ideas around death. Most people wouldn't be out to upset a grieving parent, so I think whilst your upset is understandable, in the nicest way its not entirely reasonable to want throw water at her, and I think you might be extrapolating a lot from her actions because of your upset.

GloriaV · 23/06/2017 07:35

I'm going to have to stop going on MN - people's selfish, and uncaring attitudes these days are so depressing. didn't used to be like this

tonightonight · 23/06/2017 07:56

OP there is no way YABU.
This is disgusting behaviour on her part.
Fair enough if she was walking through after visiting someone and her dog just 'went'. Fair enough if she was cutting through and her dog just 'went'. Christ even if she was ambling along and he just 'went'. It's weird behaviour to amble around a graveyard.
But at the very least she should have apologised and tried to steer her dog in a different direction once he started sniffing and scratching. It can be done. I've had dogs my whole life.
Utterly disgraceful. If ANYONE allowed their dog to shit on a grave in front of me I would have gone ballistic. Sorry to all those precious snowflakes who don't think the dead deserve our respect.

RyanStartedTheFire · 23/06/2017 08:06

I have no issues with dogs in graveyards but keep them on the bloody paths.

didofido · 23/06/2017 08:58

HeteronormativeHaybales "didofido, stop it, please."

OK, Ok, I see the MN jury is against me. Still don't see why but I'm giving this too much headspace.

I've expressed (very genuine) sympathy with the O.P's situation.
I've said my dog is walked on a churchyard path to the fields & has never crapped there. And I always pick up wherever.

I'll look on the bright side - maybe my nasty unsympathetic nature has protected me from a number of horrors I've experienced in my own long lifetime.

Should I say "Hugs Huns!!" (Now you can add sarcasm to my failings.)

No more from me.

RyanStartedTheFire · 23/06/2017 09:17

Should I say "Hugs Huns!!" (Now you can add sarcasm to my failings.)
You're a real piece of work.

expatinscotland · 23/06/2017 09:20

It's a no dogs cemetery. So no, YANBU.

User843022 · 23/06/2017 10:24

'Should I say "Hugs Huns!!" (Now you can add sarcasm to my failings.)No more from me.'

'Hugs huns'. Lovely. Honestly dido you're the gift that just keeps on giving. Lets hope there really is 'no more from me'.

Only1scoop · 23/06/2017 10:37

'No more from me.'
Well thank the Lord

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