To think you don't take your dog to shit in a graveyard?

[IdentityYetToBeDiscovered]

Tending baby's grave yesterday and notice a woman walk into the cemetery with a dog. Don't think much of it then notice that she is walking through the graves close to DD's stopping 6ft away, so her dog can take a dump. She just stands there with a smile on her face as her dog does it then starts clawing the grass right on an unmarked grave. When I challenge her she says 'sorry but these people are gone, and it doesn't matter'. She then walks off through the cemetery and leaves at the top obviously not come in to tend any grave just for her dog to shit. She made a great show of picking it up in front of me but still!

She was very rude to speak to you like that particularly as you were obviously tending a grave.

She was also BU to walk her dog there if there was a no dogs sign.

However in general I don't think there's inherently anything wrong with dogs in grave yards. My favourite local park is an old cemetry. It's actually closed to new burials but many graves are still tended. The council and charity that manage it actively encourage dog walkers and welcome dogs off lead. Dog walkers use it more than anyone else which helps keep an eye on things. It has been allowed to become overgrown in a managed way to encourage wildlife.

Obviously the dogs poo were they want but we clean up after them. I don't really see the problem with the arrangement and it's full of foxes etc that poo too.

But I wouldn't walk my dogs in a 'no dogs' graveyard.

Sometimes I'm reading MN and wonder WTF is wrong with these people? You just DON'T take the dog to the graveyard to do its business. You just DON'T. Massively hurtful and disrespectful. YANBU OP.

Ryan yes I do, hope that's okay that you have made me bring that in to the debate.

It's still a nasty thread.

Taking a dog through a cemetery as a place to walk maybe, but not to defecate.

She actually first said in broken English, 'they are underneath in the dark' when I said bringing her dog into a graveyard to crap was disrespectful she then said they are gone its doesn't matter then shrugged. Obviously she is not alone in having disgusting manners if PPs think this is OK. There is a no dogs allowed sign, saw it afterwards. DH was going to tip the bucket of water we were using to water DDs plants with over her. Shame he didn't angry

I wonder how you spoke to her, you have called her a disgusting scumbag on this thread, I think she did nothing wrong.

I am allowed to think that and so are other people.

The aggressiveness on this thread is quite unbelievable.

People generally do get defensive when people are being disrespectful around their children's graves, you might not have an issue with it, but can you honestly not see how others might? Grief brings out a lot of raw emotions for people. Dogs are banned from that graveyard and you still think she did no wrong?

If there's a no dogs allowed sign then obviously she shouldn't have brought her dog at all.

But generally if dogs are allowed and they stay on the path not on actual graves, and the owners are responsible people who pick up and bin the poo then I still think its not inherently wrong to have dogs in cemeteries

Let me say, here and now, any dog is welcome to defecate on my grave. Or even pee up the stone.

Odd how so many people have no religion and are proud of it, but 'worship' at the graves of their ancestors.

Yes, I have a dog; yes I sometimes walk thru the churchyard to get to the fields beyond. And yes, I always pick up the poo wherever it is.

Not sure it's about 'worship' at the graves of your anscestors.

Should it be ok for dogs to crap on war memorials too - or for people to pee on them?

Not people,no, they can wait.

I can't imagine a dog walking on a war memorial. I suppose one not on a lead might pee up it - but nothing can be done about that.

And I was only talking about MY grave, which is irrelevant anyway since I plan to be cremated. When I'm dead there will either be nothing, or something so new and strange that it won't matter at all what happens to my remains.

It's nothing to do with 'worship' Dido. I go to tend my baby's grave because it's the only place that holds proof of her existence and I can take care of it as I didn't get the chance to take care of her.

You've just proved me right in my long held view that many dog owners are ignorant and entitled and have some psychological dysfunction that means that they are more attuned with filthy mutts than their fellow humans.

OP you are completely right and dogs should never be allowed in graveyards. And I say that as a dog owner. I'm sorry that stupid woman was so rude and ignorant. So sorry for your loss.

Hello... she was obviously totally rude and unreasonable... but that said, I think many graveyards are used by people and their dogs as natural and calming places to reflect and escape the hurly burly.

As one of these it has always seemed to me that the priority use of a graveyard is for those who are there and mourning, but that the majority of people there are actually people walking dogs or young children..... I've always assumed that people grieving take priority, and when they are there, make sure my dog stays well away so their peaceful space is not interrupted ... though on many occasions Ive met elderly couples who are keen to stop and chat to my dog on their way to or from a grave ... I imagine as a connection to the joy that a dog can bring ...

So long as there is respect, I think it is lovely having dogs and chidren in graveyards... and hope that both walk over my grave...

I can't believe the responses you've had here, Identity.
So sorry for your loss.

I have walked my dog through a graveyard - one in our town is also a through route.
I would be mortified with shame if my dog were to poo on ,or very near a grave. So I would stick to a path. I have always asked my DC not to walk directly over a grave, even if ancient. It's simply disrespectful.

The woman allowing her dog to go on or even in the area of graves was wrong. The way she spoke to you was appalling. Virtually saying, not only do these graves not matter, but the people tending the graves and grieving don't matter.

The lack of sensitivity of people on here, who don't seem to have any imagination to think what it's like to be visiting your own child's grave - well, not one of MN's finest hours.I don't grieve every day, or even every week, but even now, nearly 20 years later, there's still deep emotions, visiting the grave. It takes huge lack of imagination to be unable to see that.

Yanbu, not at all.

YANBU. Appalling behaviour by this ignorant woman.

No dispute that walking your dog through a graveyard is fine (unless their is a bye law against it)
Allowing your dog to deficate on a grave is completely unacceptable to most right thinking people.
War monuments and graveyards are meant to show our respect for the dead. What a sad society we become if we treat them as animal toilets.

O.P. I have never, thank God, had the tragedy of the loss of a child, and I would certainly never allow my dog to dump on or near a grave, even an ancient one. He is always on a lead and on one of the paths. However, there are bins in the churchyard for dog-poo bags and they are used - occasionally by me.

Yes, I am well attuned to my 'filthy mutt'. I very rarely meet a dog I dislike, can't say that about people. Let's not be species-ist eh!

Not for ghouls to 'enjoy' reading the details of the dead buried there

People go to graveyards for all sorts of reasons

There are always complaints about allowing children to run round, not clearing flowers, leaving toys...all sorts

Really?

The dog went the women picked it up. I see no issue. But I'm a dog lover I suppose.

Of course it isn't ok to allow a dog to do this - no question. And I'm very sorry for your loss.

That the dog owner spoke in 'broken English ' is utterly irrelevant and surely an unnecessary piece of information?

I agree with you OP. Most dog owners, however, think their animals are worth more than a baby (dead or alive). Complain to whoever owns the graveyard - a couple here corden off the children's area so it's more difficult for dog walkers to get into.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please ask your DH to throw the water next time.

I expect the woman was shocked and opened her mouth in an automatic defence reflex.

I'll be spending all day thinking about your little girl now!

Dido, this is about the grave of the OP's dead baby.

YANBU at all Op

Fucking disgusting and insensitive individual whether she scooped the poop or not.
Got enraged on your behalf reading your Op.

She intentional