To think you don't take your dog to shit in a graveyard?

[IdentityYetToBeDiscovered]

Tending baby's grave yesterday and notice a woman walk into the cemetery with a dog. Don't think much of it then notice that she is walking through the graves close to DD's stopping 6ft away, so her dog can take a dump. She just stands there with a smile on her face as her dog does it then starts clawing the grass right on an unmarked grave. When I challenge her she says 'sorry but these people are gone, and it doesn't matter'. She then walks off through the cemetery and leaves at the top obviously not come in to tend any grave just for her dog to shit. She made a great show of picking it up in front of me but still!

Ok, well even more a case of YANBU then.

Monkey it's hardly surprising the OP has strong emotions around her baby's resting place. If you have noticed she has posted about it twice it's obviously something that's upsetting her a lot right now and you could have a bit more compassion.

Absolutely disgusting.

I am so, so sorry that tending to your DD's grave is something you even need to do.

I don't think it's unreasonable for a dog to be in a graveyard though, and dogs don't don't understand the concept of graves so they would naturally relieve themselves there if they happened to need to go.

The woman's attitude was unacceptable and disrespectful however. In her position I would have been incredibly embarrassed and apologetic and would have felt absolutely horrendous about causing you further distress. You don't make those sort of comments to a mourner in a graveyard for ANY reason.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely agree that a graveyard is not an appropriate place for dogs to shit. The graves are there for people to mourn and they are paid for by these people.

Am I alone here in thinking

Why not Just walk your dogs away from graves in graveyards

No you're not. Shame some people are just too entitled and enthralled in their doggy babies to realise not to do it.

God, some of the posts on here are horrible.

OP I'm so very, very sorry for your loss.

I didn't see the bit about the 'no dogs' sign - in that case she clearly shouldn't have been there anyway, shit or no shit.

I live behind a massive cemetery which is used by runners, dog walkers, photographers, rock bands, you name it. I don't think anyone has been buried there for a decade or more though, and there certainly is much grave-tending happening. There is clearly a big difference between an in-use cemetery and a historic burial ground.

I am a dog owner and the OP is NBU! There are some graveyards where dogs are welcome but there is no need to walk dogs close to graves and if you see someone tending to a grave, ESPECIALLY in the children's area, you don't wander over! Yes, dogs will go when and where they want to, so as a dog owner, anticipate that and keep them away so they don't inadvertently cause offence - it's not hard! What she said to you was appalling, OP, very insensitive. She's obviously a rude. selfish twat and this will apply to every in her life, not just her dog. I am so sorry for your loss.

Can I just suggest that posters stop, imagine how they would feel if they were visiting their child, and they needed to do that in a graveyard, and then calibrate responses accordingly?

There's this thing called empathy. Apparently, most neuro-typical people have it.

Let me say, here and now, any dog is welcome to defecate on my grave. Or even pee up the stone.

This isn't about you.

What is about you is that you let your precious dog shit on or near graves. And that is disgusting.

I understand people taking dogs to graves if they're visiting a grave, but I think it's disrespectful to just go there to take your dog for a walk. If you want to take your dog out visit the park, not a cemetery.

You said you walk your dog through a church yard to get to the fields. Well your dog might need a shit whilst you're in the church yard.
Do you keep it away from graves when you're walking it? If so then good.

'Odd how so many people have no religion and are proud of it, but 'worship' at the graves of their ancestors.'

What a strange comment. People tend graves for lots of reasons, 'worship' is not one of them.

Op I am a dog owner. I would never walk my dog in a graveyard, I have respect for the feelings of bereaved visitors and of course no one can predict when a dog does a poo.

I am sorry for your loss and for the utterly gobsmackingly insensitive comments on this thread

JuicyStrawberry -
Yes, I walk my dog on the path. As far as I can remember he has never shat even there. If he did I would bag in and bin it (there is a bin in the churchyard). What I said was I wouldn't give stuff if a dog shat on MY grave.
Then added I won't have one because I intend to be cremated - of course, if my kids decide otherwise I'll have no say. And I won't care about that either

We live in a village - nearest park is about 8 miles away.

Myrtle
"What a strange comment. People tend graves for lots of reasons, 'worship' is not one of them."

Oh, yes sometimes it certainly is...

N.B I AM NOT REFERRING TO THE O.P & HER TRAGEDY.
Some people seem unable to separate the particular from the general

Dido your smartrse attitude on such a sensitive thread is very unpleasant.
Do you have such poor self awareness irl too?

ILs all found it hysterical
Our children's corner has had thefts recently and they've had to install CCTV to stop vandalism. Our DD's grave hasn't been touched but it makes you wonder what the fuck is wrong with people.

FishSlice that is absolutely fucking awful.

Ryan sorry for your loss

MyrtleMaracas - probably.

Are you a "holier-than-thou" sweet little flower irl too?

'Are you a "holier-than-thou" sweet little flower irl too'

If you mean do I know how not to speak to someone who is bereaved then yes I'm a 'sweet little flower girl'

As I have consistently I am not speaking of the tragic loss sustained by the O.P. - I can't imagine how anyone survives that - but of the general dogs/churchyards thing.

Maybe I should point out that I live in a very small village with an equally small churchyard. The path from the lych-gate to the field stile takes, maximum, 3 minutes. It's the quickest way, everyone uses it, there is a bin for dog poo. Not talking huge municipal cemetery sufficient for the whole of a dog-walk.

:(