Should I take the job when I cheated to get it

[Fuzzywuzzy1]

Name changed.

I'm rubbish at interviews and had failed at over 7 over 6 months.

I had a job coming up and I knew there was a friend of a friend who could help me. I admit I was manipulative. I gave her a bit of a sob story about how I was so depressed I couldn't get a job (it was true though). Knowing she would put a good word in for me.

So she told the hiring manager I was brilliant and the person she wanted to get the job etc. She worked for the same department previously and was very well respected so this personal recommendation mattered. But while it helps there is a 'merit' based system so while it's not point based it's an overall mark for your answer.

So the friend found out the questions beforehand for me and rang me to give me them and then sat down with me the following week and told me what to say for each one.

When the day of the interview came I obviously excelled as I knew the questions and answers. There was one question I didn't know but gave a good answer anyway.

I got the job and was delighted. I am qualified for the job and competent but I'm so so rubbish at interviews.

As my start date goes nearer I my excitement has gone.

I cheated.

I would not have known the answers without help and had a HUGE advantage over the other candidates. I don't think I would be sacked if found out and there's no way they could prove it anyway but I just feel bad.

Like I've not got the job on merit.

But then loads of people get jobs because of who they know every day.

So maybe I should forgive myself.

AIBU to feel really guilty?

I agree with everyone else. Take the job and excel, prove yourself to them and you that it was the right choice.

I am bad at interviews even though I'm more than capable.

I am currently involved with HR & recruitment to hire an assistant Manager for me. We are clashing as I want to hire from my team knowing they are more than capable for the role but HR and recruitment won't go for them as the interviewee's didn't use certain 'buzzwords' in their responses. I find the process very frustrating.

Good luck with your new job

Sorry I should have said is a male mysogynistic prick - not just because he was male - apologies to non-mysonyist males !!

But Tinsel the interview list was not made available or published to any other candidate for the post. For a driving test it is
They were known to internal candidates, or how else did the friend know seeing as the friend wasn't involved with the panel?

It's not fair, shit internal candidates get jobs that should have gone to good external candidates all the time! It shouldn't be that way but it is, so if an external got given a more level playing field from someone on the inside, that's not IMO cheating

Tinsel the point is not that she got spoon fed the questions it is that she had to be spoon fed the answers as well. At a points style interview they are looking for certain answers, and when you know the system you shoe horn in your "demonstation of points" into your answers. It doesn't mean you know your job better, it just means that you are familiar with the points they are looking for.

If you don't know what they are trying to get you to demonstraight, you could answer CORRECTLY but not demonstrate enough points on the list IYKWIM

I think that unless you actually lied when answering the questions (e.g. if you were asked for examples of how you did this or that and gave false or made up information) then you should get over it and move on. Take the role, turn up and do a cracking job. Having a bit of interview practice before the actual interview is not a bad idea and clearly helped with your confidence. I assume there were other candidates being interviewed. Good luck ...

It's not cheating.

I agree with above poster who said your friend obviously thought you'll be great for the role - she would t have ensured you get it putting her reputation at risk.

E.g. If I interview at MY work and they ask me how I would deal with X situation, I know that on their sheets they are looking to tick off characteristics A, B & C.

Now I could give an answer that would work great in practice, but if my answer was heavy on A and didn't shoe-horn in B&C I won't get full points for that answer

When we interview we also give questions that we know the candidate will not know the answer to (including technical questions) this allows us to gauge the knowledge base of the candidate and how they cope with pressure and their thought processes on how they could locate the information for the question asked. By cheating the OP gave a very wrong impression of herself.

I am still worried that with someone like the OP with such a mixed up moral compass the cover ups that will happen when she makes a mistake (and we all make mistakes in work - it depends on how we handle them that matter)

LedR has already pointed up some of the inconsistencies, and the availability of interview questions to people not on the panel (i.e friends of friends and including other candidates) has not been confirmed by the OP, because if that's the case, why the need to start a thread about it?

If said interview questions were available to anyone who had an interest for any reason, before the interview, then it's a level playing field. If they weren't then it's not. But thats just one of the inconsistencies.

I'm about to present an unpopular opinion,

I am good at interviews, I excel at them.

I had an interview last year for a role I really wanted and worked really hard to even get to interview.

One of the people being interviewed for the role found out the questions in advance (supposed to be kept secret) she shared that with another person, who shared it with another and also me.

I took it with a pinch of salt, I went in and completely tanked the interview, in restrospect I'm glad I did. I wouldn't have been happy in the role knowing I cheated and fortunately another opportunity came up for me.

The other people who were told flew through the interview, the role was merit based. They were all placed in the role within weeks. One year on there are people who are very good at the role and their position on the list is about to expire, because they didn't score as highly as those who cheated. At least one person who was told the questions is not suitable for the role. They have said this to me themselves and are looking for a transfer.

What you did was cheating, however, if you believe you can work well in this role then you should take it, and by work well I mean, be better than the other applicants. How do
you know there is not someone else, better qualified than you who also performs poorly at interviews?

I'm sorry you find yourself in this position, you sound like a lovely person who wasn't very much between a rock and a hard place, and is more so now.

I asked my mate what questions they ask you, she told me, i googled what answers i can give and i got the job. I don't care if it's cheating, i was a single mum desperate for a job. I knew i had the skills they required but i'm rubbish at explaining and rather just show them instead. Still there 4 years later, if i was bad at my job i would have got sacked.

So no answer then to "how would you handle this if it came out and you're disciplined", just a mulish insistence that "there's not enough proof" ... hardly a surprise

Along with a great deal else, it seems not to have occurred to OP that there's now a smoking gun to her head in the form of at least two people who know about this - also that with someone so deceitful there's every possibility of a fallout and what might follow from that

Never mind, though - she can always squeal "you can't proooooove it!!" and see where that gets her within a (supposedly) ethical workplace

You don't appear to understand disciplinary processes op. They don't need proof in the form of emails and so on, just a reasonable belief, which could come in the form of a statement from the colleague which could come about in so many ways - colleague could leave in the near future and want to stir things up is just one of them. Of course they may consider this unreliable, but if it compounds suspicions they may have in your ability, which they probably will given you could only answer 2 out of 6 technical questions right, then they could dismiss for misrepresentation/GM.

Dare I say if you were competent you wouldn't have needed assistance to cheat on the technical questions, that you still managed to get wrong somehow.

If I did this id be absolutely dreading starting that job and would be on edge every single day. Not really how starting a new job should feel.

Of course it's cheating! I'm baffled by people saying the OP was just preparing.

There's a line between someone putting in good word and giving advice versus someone giving you the questions and answers. It's no different to someone getting the questions on an exam script. Plenty of people will say they are knowledgeable about a subject, but rubbish at exams. It doesn't make it ok to cheat.

If I was an employer, I would certainly fire you and your friend.

Make sure you don't fall out with this person--she will always have this to hold over you.

And students who I've dealt with who cheated also thought they couldn't be found out.

Take the job. Be excited. Work hard. Prove to them and yourself that you deserve this job.

Never mention the support you got to anyone but friend and that only when alone with them outside work.

And this goes on all the time so you are not the first, nor the last to do this. Dont be hard on yourself.

If I had always been honest I would have out on so many jobs. When I was young I spent a few years in Canada and even to wash floors they asked for five years experience.

You damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you stayed unemployed you would be called lazy and a scrounger, but because you had to use a trick or two to get a job, you feel bad too.

she will always have this to hold over you

Works both ways

True, but op would be foolish to admit to cheating in the interview as bang goes the reference and as I gather it's in social work/related informative references will be very important. A 'tombstone' reference in that field would be very telling I imagine. Many moons ago I supplied a tombstone reference for someone wanting to enter the date field and I was contacted to ask why, I explained it was our policy and they still pushed me to at least comment on their character off the record, sadly I had to say I wasn't prepared to as they weren't a good employee. They then tried to get one from the manager directly who also refused. I dont know what happened but I did hear they had to do zero hour work instead to get a foot in the door somehow)

So while I agree it goes both ways, the op still loses out.

*care field

OP has strongly hinted that this job requires a lengthy training process, an academic qualification and the ability to use legislation in the post.

The mind boggles at what kind of job this might be. I wonder why OP didn't say what field the job is in, then colleagues in that field who are on MN (and there's bound to be some) could comment from an insider perspective.

Is a tombstone reference what I think it is Gah?

I did what you did once, OP.

I still didn't get the job.

I wonder why OP didn't say what field the job is in

For that matter, I wonder why she namechanged for this particular thing - after all we're meant to be anonymous on here aren't we?

It's a free world of course, but I'm just not sure what the problem would be, given that she's so very confident of never getting found out?

Probably - just confirms dates and job title. Fairly common nowadays but in some fields i gather it isnt so can raise questions.

It was wrong. Completely wrong and I can't even begin to think that it was excusable. Your friend of a friend was way out of line and completely lacks integrity.