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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be shocked by language used by head teacher?

307 replies

LargeGlassofRed · 16/06/2017 21:14

Dd2 came home today and said the head had lost it and ranted at them calling them 'antisocial low life scum' ! Am I overreacting to think this is totally unexceptable?

OP posts:
Peanutbuttercheese · 17/06/2017 10:45

I admit to being a bit of a teacher defender as I have quite a few in my friendship circle.

I worked in higher education for 25 years, I always said my young people have chosen to sit in a classroom whereas your kids are forced to sit in a classroom.

I'm ok with what the head said if indeed they did, not all teachers get it right all the time but it's a thankless job.

CremeFresh · 17/06/2017 10:54

I feel so sorry for teachers , they are pushed to the giddy limit sometimes.

My DS is a teacher and she's says most days is just crowd control rather than teaching .

Haffiana · 17/06/2017 10:56

But they are antisocial scum, surely? What is wrong with being called out on it?

And ffs to the DMs having a hissy fit that that their pearls are being told off for arsing around rather than understanding that a FIRE ALARM is something that should be taken VERY seriously.

This is a lesson that may one day save their lives. And you are COMPLAINING? Fucking grow up and get real.

kali110 · 17/06/2017 11:01

A kid set a fire alarm of.
It is antisocial scummy thing to do, especially given what has happened this week!
The ht hasn't directed this at a certain teacher but all of them!
My god, it will get to the point where teachers can't say a word to kids Hmm

Oh well at least she's learned a new word.
Silver lining and all that. Grin

HateSummer · 17/06/2017 11:08

Haven't RTFT but I've stopped here:

My dd2 is year 8 and hadn't even heard the word scum till today

Wow. Someone needs to buy a dictionary and stop being so precious.

Anasnake · 17/06/2017 11:12

Hasn't heard the word 'scum' - so hasn't heard 'you scum-bag, you maggot' played on a loop every Christmas ?!! Hmm

HookandSwan · 17/06/2017 11:12

Op
on Wednesday a fire killed at least 30 people and sadly probably many many more.

The head is right at 14 these kids know better! This was a horrible insensitive scummy thing to do and good on the head teacher.

brotherphil · 17/06/2017 11:23

People who set off fire alarms for 'a lark' the day after many people have perished in a widely publicised fire are 'low life scum'.

Agreed, but it wasn't the individual Year 11 student who set off the fire alarm that the HT called "low life scum" from what we have been told: it was a separate group of year 8/9 girls, who HT apparently felt were showing off for the benefit of the year 11s.
Does showing off make people "low life scum"?

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/06/2017 11:31

brotherphil

would you be happy to find out that someone lost their life having to go in to a fire because your child and their friends where messing around and not where they were supposed to be and not answering the register?

Would you be happy for someone to die because your child was messing around and they were missed on a register?

Scum is a mild term when you consider what could have happened.

brotherphil · 17/06/2017 11:32

What people are saying is that you need to hear the other side of the story first. Often the version you get from a child is not the whole truth.

My impression was that this was what OP was trying to do by emailing the school.
Several posters seem to have assumed that OP emailed the school to ream HT a new one - much the same way as they have decided that HT was telling the year 8/9s off for the false alarm, rather than for "showing off" during the evacuation caused by a year 11 setting off the alarm.

SoupDragon · 17/06/2017 11:40

Several posters seem to have assumed that OP emailed the school to ream HT a new one

Mostly because the OP has stated everything that happened as fact, said that it is totally unacceptable and that she believes her DD. Which part of that sounds like she's trying to find out the other side of the story?

brotherphil · 17/06/2017 11:56

would you be happy to find out...
I agree, in those circumstances, someone would be justified in being angry enough to use that sort of language, even if it was unprofessional.
My point wasn't to say that the HT would necessarily be unjustified in being upset with their misbehaviour, nor that the language used was not understandable from someone in this circumstances.
It was to point out that many posters were falsely accusing the OP's child of setting off the alarm, and justifying the language on that basis.
If the children involved had potentially put people at risk - not by setting off the alarm, which they didn't do, but by other stupid behaviour during the evacuation then, IMO, it is understandable that he might use intemperate language.
My intention was to highlight the difference between the two.

brotherphil · 17/06/2017 12:02

Which part of that sounds like she's trying to find out the other side of the story?

"and will post again when I get a response"

That sound to me like someone who has asked questions, and believes that the answer will bring greater understanding of what happened.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/06/2017 12:06

brotherphil

the thing is that one has broken the law, the others have put lives at risk.

Teachers are only informed of the timing of one fire drill per year, the rest of the time we have to assume that the fire is real.

This really is one of those times when following the rules is an absolute.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/06/2017 12:09

IMO the biggest concern with the OP is that there is no mention of even a talk to her daughter about have badly this could have gone wrong, just that the HT's language is unacceptable.

GreenTulips · 17/06/2017 12:20

While the kids were 'showing off' and messing around - they couldnt hear any instructions being given - you know like 'use X door' 'follow y' class .... etc

So yes it could've caused death in a real situation

GreenTulips · 17/06/2017 12:21

And for the record 4 year olds have 'following instructions' as a year end target -

Tell her to grow up

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 17/06/2017 12:25

How can your dd be year 8 and never heard the word scum? You are joking surely?Hmm

SoupDragon · 17/06/2017 12:42

"and will post again when I get a response"

That sound to me like someone who has asked questions, and believes that the answer will bring greater understanding of what happened.

And to me that sounds like someone who has demanded answers/apologies based on why she believes is a 100% accurate version of events as DD has recounted.

SoupDragon · 17/06/2017 12:43

(Going by what the OP has said here which shows no acceptance or even consideration that her DD's version might not be completely accurate.)

Gileswithachainsaw · 17/06/2017 13:08

Personally I wouldn't care what was said to my dd in a case like this as long as the message about how selfish irresponsible and dangerous false fire alarms are got through.

Due to the sheer amount of people and often the structure of the buildings mean that the fire department will prioritise a school over another call.

That delay could cost someone else dearly.

If my dd was completely innocent I would ensure that I supported her in explaining why what was said was said and that the severity of the outburst was required in order to convey the sheer magnitude of the situation.

WellThatSucks · 17/06/2017 13:53

"and will post again when I get a response"

That sound to me like someone who has asked questions, and believes that the answer will bring greater understanding of what happened.

Pity that the OP didn't do the asking questions to get a greater understanding of what happened bit before rushing to enlist the massed pitchforks of MN by posting an outraged drippy-drip-drip thread based on the one side of the tale as told to her by her daughter.

MaisyPops · 17/06/2017 15:55

well
My thoughts entirely.
The purpose of this thread was to get the support of MN so we can all pile in on how mean the head teacher is.

If it was a case of 'I'd like to find out what happened' then the OP would be very different. OP had already decided their child's version was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

CancellyMcChequeface · 17/06/2017 16:21

I think 'anti-social low lifescum' is a fair description of the student(s) who set off the fire alarm, even if it seems slightly unprofessional to say so.

Year 8/9 messing about and trying to get attention? Immature, definitely, but 'antisocial low life scum' doesn't seem remotely appropriate there. And if it was a general remark addressed to the entire group, some/most of whom were behaving appropriately and had nothing to do with the alarm being set off? That's even worse.

I also don't see the problem with believing what children say until you have evidence to the contrary. Investigate the situation to make sure it's not a misunderstanding or exaggeration, yes, but distrust by default seems very unfair if the child in question isn't known to be a habitual liar.

GreenTulips · 17/06/2017 16:25

Year 8/9 messing about and trying to get attention? Immature, definitely, but 'antisocial low life scum' doesn't seem remotely appropriate there

You'd better hopeyour not stuck behind them in an emergence then - because they 'were only haveing a laugh'

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