AIBU to be shocked by language used by head teacher?

[LargeGlassofRed]

Dd2 came home today and said the head had lost it and ranted at them calling them 'antisocial low life scum' ! Am I overreacting to think this is totally unexceptable?

The kids got a bollocking that by the sounds of things was well deserved. Setting a fire alarm off during exam time ? Messing about and showing off during the evacuation ? Given the events of this week the Head was totally right to lose his rag.

Unfortunately no one has actually said that. A few examples of what was actually said
I'd be very surprised if it happened.
Sounds unlikely.
I'm pretty sure this isn't what was said.
I doubt the head actually said it.

At least 2 of those are from me, I think. And actually if read my posts I've said numerous times that we need to exercise caution before jumping straight to complain mode when things don't always occur exactly how kids report it. E.g. they give partial accounts, jump on Chinese whispers etc.

So yes, I do doubt it happened exactly as the student has recounted because it seems particularly unlikely based on my experiences of whole school evacuations.

(But thank you so much for turning my point into 'people say you should never believe children'. I'm guessing you'd be one of those parents who call up demanding to report teachers based on hearsay that turns out to be false.)

If there is anything untoward, then obviously it needs dealing with.

And for what it's worth, I'd damn well be telling any of my students off if they were messing on during a whole school evacuation (note. Not a drill! An AVOIDABLE evacuation just after the fire in London, in the middle of exams, causing distress to those about to sit exams, causing huge amounts of administration to explain why exams have been interrupted etc).

Agree with maisy

I have three children all of whom appear to listen to their teachers

My friend who has two children , similar ages to two of mine, gets the most interesting stories

Which she has always checked against mine

That was the ' head said we all looked like a sack of spuds in our uniform' quote came from, this child is 15 ...and that is not what the teacher said. As vouched for by two of my children

Would you be happy for your elderly relative to be called 'pathetic' by a stressed doctor who feels her presenting complaint is minor? Or 'scum'?

Do you really like think that is in any way a comparable scenario to the stress of a HT having to evacuate an entire school, pacify the fire brigade and sort out the appalling mess it has made of very important exams? Really??

Ironic that one poster is only giving part-quotes to defend a teen in a story about a teen possibly giving part-quotes.

Is that for me ten?

If it is then this is what happened

Full school assembly and on the stage is the head and a sack of potatoes dressed in a school blazer

Head gave a big soeech about trying hard at school, attending lessons, revising etc the children dont remember the whole thing but you get the gist

Work hard and do well sort of things

And then the head said that if you dont try hard and make an effort at school then you may as well be a sack of spuds sat on the sofa

See...couch potato...funny

But yeah i should have done the whole story

So OP, you don't think that someone who sets off a fire-alarm during exam season after recent events is anti-social? Or you don't think it's something someone who was absolute scum would do in those circumstances?

I'm amazed that the HT was that restrained.

I also refuse to believe that your precious DD has never heard the word "scum" before.

rufus
That sums up my experience of some teenagers.

I had a meeting with students about an issue this week. All resolved (obviously leaving details out), turns out the person eager to report a group of students was equally up to their neck in it and wasnt as innocent as they made out.

I know for a fact that by Monday I'll have home calling up/turning up to complain because I've 'not listened'. This has happened numerous times over the last 3 years. Each time it's a "different staff member who is awful and the child has done no wrong'. Each time the school point out the investigation. Each time the parent says our investigation is wrong because 'my child wouldn't make it up'. All evidence days otherwise.
It's so frustrating because I investigate everything given to me and it would be nice if instead of taking this child's word as gospel the parent actually listened to the weight of evidence. They don't though and so the child repeats this cycle regularly.

Dictionary definitions:

Antisocial - Contrary to the laws and customs of society; devoid of or antagonistic to sociable instincts or practices.

Low life - People or activities characterized as being disreputable and often criminal.

Scum - A contemptible person or group of people.

Which of that doesn't apply to people who cause a whole school to be evacuated during exams which are vital for the future education and employment of those sitting them, in the same week as a massive fatal fire, whose actions result in an illegal hoax call out for the fire brigade and potentially endangers others who may have a genuine need? On top of that there is behaviour during tlhe evacuation - which all the staff would have thought was genuine - which endangered other students and staff.

Btw i am not, and do not know any teachers.

I am not an automatic teacher defender but I have to agree with the head. Given the events of the recent weeks, setting off a fire alarm is antisocial and low life and scummy.

I am amazed your kid hasn't heard the word 'scum' before. You do know that is probably because it is a word rarely used anymore, rather than a sign of purity. Stop being precious.

maisy

I have been lucky, two of my children repeat every thing verbatim

(One is very literal so although trustworthy will probably have misread the situation)

But even if it is the teacher (dd seems to annoy some people) tone is everything and unless i am there its very hard to tell

Dd is very resilient

They don't though and so the child repeats this cycle regularly

I totally agree - unless the parents back the school and explain WHAT they did was wrong and how that affect others (or could've) in this example a fire truck being diverted or an accident on the stairs getting out etc then yes it will keep happening and the parents will wonder why their angels aren't doing as well as the could in school

Last year DD's class TA was pregnant. The children(very young ones so no malice) decided the baby's father must be the y6 teacher. Since most of them have siblings in other years,the rumour spread like wildfire. Some parents knew where it originated from and just laughed about it,some parents didn't care either way,but some parents took their kid's words as gospel and complained to the head how inappropriate it is that staff are having an affair,and even worse they were flaunting it(there were details of hand holding,stolen kisses, seen in the car together and what not,all complete made up bollocks) and all the kids knew about it and they wanted the head to take action and stop their little darling's heads being corrupted.

rufus
Sounds ideal.
And yes, context is everything.

If something sounds odd or potential tally questionable then a polite call is fine aka 'can I just hear your take on something that happened yesterday in school because Sarah's mentioned it and I'd just like the full picture'.

I'm quite happy for parents to call up and get things clarified/raise issues in a polite and measured way.
I get annoyed when people call up all guns blazing/demanding a meeting/'my child wouldn't lie' etc.

rebelrogue-WTF?????????????????

rebel
That's hilarious!

Two of my colleagues were in a relationship and joined the school a few years apart. Years went by and they ended up getting married. When she came back after the summer as Mrs Brown our students were shocked and appalled (in a funny way). I'll never forget them coming back: "Miss Maisy!! Guess what!? You know Miss Short is now Mrs Brown? She's Mrs Brown like Mr Brown!! As if Miss Short and Mr Brown were dating!" it was so sweet because they assumed that none of the teachers knew and they'd been having a secret affair.

I'm finding it difficult to see how the head could've worded it so that every child believed that he/she meant them.

'You're all antisocial low life scum' , wouldn't have made sense.

'The sort of person who thinks it's fun, or acceptable to do this, is antisocial lowlife scum', would make sense.

In light of recent events, students could well have panicked and people could've got hurt.

I can't possibly see the advantage of berating a headteacher who actually has a very valid point.

I admire the headteacher's restraint.

Rebel - a similar case happened at my school except the male teacher involved is gay and married to a man !

I can only assume not many parents have seen "chinese whispers" at work. It's quite scary really.

Fidget spinner goes missing. 5 kids gathered round at playtime,with me fairly close to them. They begin to speculate that it might be stolen. Then they speculate who might've been. They decide it must've been Jimmy. Then they being to speculate how he did it,where he hid it etc. Kid pipes up "Jimmy did it,he hid it in his pocket , I saw him". Then they all come running to me "Miss, Jimmy stole the fidget spinner! Check his pockets! We saw him!"

Did you? Did you really?

maisy and rebel

Dd was 13 and had a teacher miss brown that she was very fond of

They were given their September timetable in the july and she was devastated...all right furious

Miss briwn was leaving and mrs cook was going to be her new teacher and dd's life was over!!!!!

You can see where i am going with this cant you...

I'm finding it difficult to see how the head could've worded it so that every child believed that he/she meant them.

Going by how well my teen/pre teen children listen, very easily. He could have said something like "anyone who knows the antisocial lowlife mu st come to me" and they would have picked out the bold sounds from the middle and extrapolated. :o

I've come back to this having watched the news again this morning on TV.

Try telling any of the hundreds of firefighters who risked their lives to save others or any of the families without homes or who have lost love ones that wasting firefighters time and setting off fire alarms when there real risk out here isn't the lowest of the low.

I stick by what I said ^^ take the situation and think how you'd react to your own child in that circumstance.

Because I'm sure if ds had set off that fire Alarm I'd have had worse to say to him that's the HT

Exactly, Soup!

A child in DS school set the alarm off - all on CCTV (suggest you ask to view it) His mother had plenty to say to him and scum would've been mild