AIBU to be shocked by language used by head teacher?

[LargeGlassofRed]

Dd2 came home today and said the head had lost it and ranted at them calling them 'antisocial low life scum' ! Am I overreacting to think this is totally unexceptable?

Maybe they don't live in a hardwater area @Tazerface .

I would be interested to know what words the OP would use to describe her child and its actions. On my bingo card I reckon easily led, a bit immature, not as streetwise as peers, sensitive , devastated, undiagnosed SN, and distraught would feature.

I think the head teacher's words were OK given what those kids did. Especially so soon after the tower fire.

Maybe they don't live in a hardwater area @Tazerface**

Place marking purely for email response!

You do realize that the schools are charged a fee for the fire brigade attending school? Around £500 here - which is charged to the parent of the child setting the alarm off.

I hope your DD wasn't involved or you have deep pockets

Have a packet of biscuits, OP.

My youngest came home a few years ago to say that Mr science teacher was leaving to run a cattery ( not true, he was going to another school) but my eldest believed her (gullible). Fast forward a couple of years and I'm on the parent's guild and talk got round to him. One of the ladies who happened to work at the school said that there was a massive rumour that he had gone to run a cattery. I had to confess my eldest started it due to the youngest hearing something and hearing it all wrong . Placemarking with a little story but it goes to show they don't always hear things right but instead of complaining about the Head I would be making my DD understand why they had said that (if that's how it was said)

Not a teacher. Wouldn't be upset. The HT is obviously upset. Scum is not the worst word most kids would hear at that age. The pupil(s) who did it probably are as he described. If your dd didn't do it she has nothing to worry about

I'm with the HT on this
After everything that happened this week and GCSEs going on the children deserved to be shouted at and see that their behavior affects other people.

Full disclaimer: Teacher here.

Almost weekly, a teacher will tell a child something along the lines of "that piece of behaviour is like that of a thug/idiot/bully/etc and gives completely the wrong impression to other people" etc etc, and had them twist it to "you called me a thug/idiot/bully/etc".

Children twist words. They do not quote directly, or they do not give the full context.

Frankly, in the situation described, "you are behaving like low life scum and giving a poor impression to the general public, which is not what I expect from you as I know you better" is a perfectly acceptable thing to say in the circumstances, and is probably along the lines of what happened.

From the drip-feeding, it sounds like actually your DDs year group may have been acting stupidly or even mildly dangerously in the evacuation to show off, which is fully deserving of some wrath to drive home the seriousness of the situation.

Also, is 'scum' really the worst word you think your DD has heard?!

It seems very odd that the teacher would direct these remarks to year 8 & 9 girls when the culprit was a yr 11 pupil. But your tale is poorly told and if your DD is equally poor at describing events, it's hard to know what to make of it.

In general I would say such language is not acceptable, if understandable in some circumstances. Given the incongruity of who set off the alarm and who he was shouting at and the accusation girls in year 8/9 were "showing off" to year 11s (which is totally unexplained) I'd probably want to know more about what was going on. There are some possibilities that would be concerning and warrant further action, but I can also see a lot of circumstances where in the end I'd tell DD that the teacher was understandably upset, that she should behave better.

What a shame that the only thing your DD took from that was the alleged insult, rather than the important message about not setting off fire alarms for a joke.

Too add to *SurburbanRhonda"

she also seems to be missing the important point about not messing around during fire alarms.

I distinctly remember a teacher at my school asking me if i had been 'dragged up' once for some stupid nonsense or other I was doing. I made that into 'Mr XX insulted my mother, Miss' to the head teacher later on because I was a gobby little bastard. I was also a straight A student, so its not even like its just the 'naughty kids' who bend the truth to suit themselves.

Well, if my child had come home with that I would have backed up HT there and then to reinforce that very important message.

So HT may have lost it a little (or not), but this is life, best get used to it going out into the world.

OMG Seeing those janitors!

Just want to clarify a few points.
Of course Scum isn't the worse word she had heard, it is just not a word that used by most 13 year olds in my opinion.
I have given all the information I have.
Loosing your temper and cursing to students is not the actions I would expect from a head teacher, why are they treated like gods? how in any circumstance is this ok?
As for my style of writing I am dyslexic so have have had this picking apart before.
I've tried to give the information as clearly as I can.
If the buiscuits throwers are right and this is all a made up lie by dd2 I will be the first person in officially apologies to the head.
But if it is true and other complaints are made, I hope you will value a child's words and not. Be so quick to accuse or blame them.

If the HT did 'lose it' and call your daughter and her friends 'anti social lowlife scum' then no, he probably shouldn't've. It's tough times for HTs and this week has been particularly challenging. I don't think what he said and did is particularly shocking and I don't consider it to be grounds for a complaint.

I hope your daughter faces severe consequences for setting off the fire alarm (if she did). With exams going on and the terrible recent events, it is an outrageous and shocking thing to do.

As a parent you should be focussing on that, not the poor HT trying to educate your child.

Is your daughter often in trouble for messing around during serious situations?

Btw, it wasn't a "drill" as you insist on calling it. Those are planned, by the staff, and monitored by the designated officers. This was a full-blown evacuation.

Have you even stopped, once, while defending your precious flower's ears, to even imagine when the alarm went off, and the teachers knowing it wasn't a drill, heard it? In the wake of this week? That they, in loco parentis, possibly had very little time indeed, to save your children's lives?

But go ahead, carry on defending her. I do hope you come back and update us exactly on what her "messing around" really entailed.

As it seems extremely odd that the HT directed such wrath at your kid's yeargroup, you might be in for a bit of a shock.

But if you come back at all, I expect it will be to tell us the HT has been summarily horse-whipped and tied to the stake.

We won't believe you, like I don't believe your child's version of events now.

Just to reiterate what PP has said. This was NOT a drill. No school would have a drill during exam season. That would be silly. It wasn't even a false alarm (we had a few of those when the new system was put in). Someone set off the alarm. This is highly disruptive. The entire school would have to be checked for fire before anyone is allowed back in and the fire brigade was probably called out. This is serious.
Messing around whilst lined up during a fire alarm and not listening, is inappropriate behaviour which has the potential to be dangerous. I suspect your DD didn't hear, or ignored, the 'like'. I also think the behaviour was indeed anti-social.

I always find it interesting that posters automatically say they don't believe the word of child. I thought in this day and age people listened to their children, having learned lessons from the past. Obviously not then.

I would be annoyed if our head spoke to my dd like that. We all get stressed at work. We all encounter so called 'scum' from time to time. But most of us manage to restrain ourselves and remain professional. I have received abuse in work many times from patients, but am glad to say I have never resorted to calling them scum. It is not ok to do it just because they are 'only children'. Would he have spoken to colleagues like this if they did something equally as awful?

That being said op, it was a very serious breech of the rules to set off the fire alarm and messing around during the drill is dreadful behaviour. I hope detentions were handed out.

You've emailed the school?
I expect they will print off your email and pin it on the notice board in the staff room
It will serve as a reminder of why they went in to teaching

But that was an anti-social, low-life scummy thing to do, particularly whilst GCSEs are still happening, and particularly after this week's events. Do you seriously believe it harms any of the pupils to be described in that way?

I'm not a teacher. I don't think your daughter is necessarily lying. I still think ywbu to email the school about this. She's 13 not 3. 'Scum' is not a curse?