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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be shocked by language used by head teacher?

307 replies

LargeGlassofRed · 16/06/2017 21:14

Dd2 came home today and said the head had lost it and ranted at them calling them 'antisocial low life scum' ! Am I overreacting to think this is totally unexceptable?

OP posts:

NormaSmuff · 17/06/2017 07:21

They behaved like low life scum, I absolutely agree with ht

SoupDragon · 17/06/2017 07:25

I always find it interesting that posters automatically say they don't believe the word of child. I thought in this day and age people listened to their children, having learned lessons from the past. Obviously not then.

What people are saying is that you need to hear the other side of the story first. Often the version you get from a child is not the whole truth.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 17/06/2017 07:28

It was Year 11's last day in a lot of schools yesterday. Endless pranks which cost the school a lot of money normally go on. Setting off a fire alarm when exams are going on causes schools not only hours and hours of work (huge volumes of paperwork for exam boards) but the fire brigade can charge schools (£500?) and of course there is more paperwork etc. Plus of course the fact that this will have drawn resources away from a real fire, so risking others' lives as we know. Plus the huge disruption to the whole school. It was also a hot day and a Friday, the girls showing off etc must have been the icing on the cake. Those are the things we know.

Tip to OP: you might believe your daughter but I can assure you that kids (and people) do all twist things etc. He didn't "curse". I hope your daughter isn't aware of your email.

MissBax · 17/06/2017 07:29

YABU - in light of recent events, the little shits that did it are lucky he didn't call then worse. And if he doesn't know who it was then he has to address all kids. If it wasn't your daughter then it shouldn't affect her.

00100001 · 17/06/2017 07:29

Interesting thread

Can't wait for the update next week

Goodgriefisitginfizzoclock · 17/06/2017 07:37

Even if the HT did say it (unlikely) they were referring to those who were guilty of crime, either the setting off of FA or showing off. If your DD did neither, the HT was not talking to her, for she was not guilty I assume of the crime? Also have 'grip' an interruption of a nationally set exam paper I am sure will have to be documented and explained as the opportunity to converse with other students would have been possible, causing more work! The bubble you live in might mean you havnt seen the terrible news about a fire that has cost lives and traumatised children and adults alike, they will fear a fire alarm forever. Complain if you must, if you feel it's worth your time and lots of time for the school, prompting the complaints procedure go ahead. Alternatively get a grip and be thankful we are all safe in our own homes today and enjoying the sun. Not a teacher, but confess yes a governor.

Iris65 · 17/06/2017 07:37

I was on a train last year. Across the aisle sitting at a table was a very middle class looking family of four: parents and two girls of around 8 and 10. They were talking quite loudly and I could hear every word.
The man started talking about gypos and how they behave badly and bring school results down.

I leaned over and spoke to him about how offensive I found his comments. He apologised profusely and said 'On reflection, you are right. Thank you for telling me.' His daughter then piped up 'Ooooh, Daddy, you've been told off!' and his other (older daughter) added 'And you're a Headmaster!'

They got off at the next station a few minutes later which was a pity as I was dying to hear the rest of the conversation.

derxa · 17/06/2017 07:38

Your poor DD OP

houseofhungryboys · 17/06/2017 07:38

A teaching assistant at my DS school thought it was ok to address my son saying "Oi blondie get out here" - it's not like when I was at school (clutches pearls) 😬

MissDuke · 17/06/2017 07:41

What people are saying is that you need to hear the other side of the story first. Often the version you get from a child is not the whole truth

Unfortunately no one has actually said that. A few examples of what was actually said -

I'd be very surprised if it happened.

Sounds unlikely.

I'm pretty sure this isn't what was said.

I doubt the head actually said it.

feathermucker · 17/06/2017 07:46

Given recent events, and the disruption said incident caused, it wouldn't have bothered me at all if a HT had said this.

ArtemisiaGentilleschi · 17/06/2017 07:48

Well somebody said it or you wouldn't be quoting them.

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 17/06/2017 07:51

Is "scum" a curse word now? Like "twat"?

insancerre · 17/06/2017 07:52

Scum is not a curse word
I think the head has shown great restraint
He probably could have said a lot worse

Orchid2017 · 17/06/2017 07:54

'Why do people treat Heads as Gods?'
No one is saying they should be treated as Gods. Most people are saying that they are only human. Think about how the behaviour of your own child can make you feel sometimes. Unless you work in an exceptional school, teachers have their patience tried a hundred times a day. Add to that a very stressful situation and you may well snap (if he did) . You need to be focussing on talking about the seriousness of the incident, not what the Head may or may not have said. You are giving your DD the totally wrong message.

My DD told me her teacher had called her pathetic. I focussed on why she might have done that and explained that what she had done might have been the last straw for that teacher. Unless a teacher systematically degrades children as a matter of course, then they should be cut some slack for an occasional slip.

SoupDragon · 17/06/2017 07:57

Unfortunately no one has actually said that. A few examples of what was actually said...

"I'd want to know exactly what was going on at the time....it's not unheard of for children to embellish things"

"In the unlikely event that happened, there must have been serious behaviour that provoked it" ( which you only part quoted)

"Lead up to the coments would be interesting."

"Was it "you're all anti social low life scum" or "you're all behaving like anti social low life scum"? I can imagine a teen leaving the behaving out for hyperbole,

And that's only from the first handful of posts. So yes,there have been lots of comments about it not being the whole story.

hippyhippyshake · 17/06/2017 07:57

I think the HT pitched it perfectly. Halfway between you fucking anti-social low-life cunts and that was a unacceptable thing to do.

And, for the last time, this wasn't a drill. I hope the culprits who set the alarm off get suspended or worse.

BigGreenOlives · 17/06/2017 07:57

100s made homeless and probably 100 killed in a fire this week.

Physics GCSE yesterday morning.

Head probably couldn't believe anyone would mess around with a fire alarm this week, probably devastated that his pupils are so insensitive despite his efforts & those of his staff.

MissDuke · 17/06/2017 07:58

Would you be happy for your elderly relative to be called 'pathetic' by a stressed doctor who feels her presenting complaint is minor? Or 'scum'?

FritataPatate · 17/06/2017 08:00

OP, tell us what you put in your email so we can judge you a bit more
.

insancerre · 17/06/2017 08:01

You don't hear of many elderly patients setting off fire alarms
as a joke while sat in the waiting room

MissDuke · 17/06/2017 08:01

I think the head has shown great restraint

Wow this really does go to show that we all vary wildly in our standards as to what we deem acceptable! To me, this head really lost it to have referred to children as 'scum'. I don't see that as restraint at all. I guess what I am used to in our school is very different to what a lot of posters are used to in theirs.

Orchid2017 · 17/06/2017 08:02

Houseofhungryboys

Where did you go to school? When I went to school, it was ok to hit children. I am in my 40's so not that long ago. Things are infinitely better now but we are raising a load of precious snow flakes who are being taught to be offended by the smallest thing.

Highalert · 17/06/2017 08:02

Why does no one ever believe their children on MN?
The head teacher sounds like he lost it. Maybe he needs a new job.

MissDuke · 17/06/2017 08:03

You don't hear of many elderly patients setting off fire alarms
as a joke while sat in the waiting room

I don't think you read my comment correctly I was clearly referring to a response to stress. I explaining that lots of people encounter stress at work, but most manage to refrain from calling people 'scum'. Believe me, doctors encounter things much more stressful than fire alarms being set off...... yet most manage to remain professional.

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