MIL Surprise, surprise

[AmberStClare]

DP is away from home on a course and have been enjoying this week on my own, slobbing out in the evening after work, eating supper in front of the TV and generally having a nice time.

Just got home from work and opened the front door, walked into the sitting room to find my MIL sitting on the sofa. Cries 'surprise surprise, got the key from your NDN, let myself in and have come to stay for a few days to keep you company whilst DP is away.'

Just rung DP and he is equally annoyed as is expected back Saturday and we were looking forward to the weekend catching up on each other's news and bit of frottage. All out of the window as MIL expects to be waited on hand and foot, in fact just said if I was putting the kettle on she would love a cup of tea, 'And a biscuit dear if there are any going.'

Who do I kill first, NDN for giving out the key without checking with me first (She has never met MIL before as we moved here recently) or MIL for presuming she can do this.

Just let her stay put. The fact that she's stayed and stayed to make a scene says it all. And that her son didn't give up his night on the lash to fly to darling Mum. Nah, he expected you to change your plans, provide all this 'looking after' she seems to enjoy.

Famalam the kitten

Loving it.
Sounds like a pretty good result, especially her contentment with the B & B. Take it at face value, even if intended as a slur!

Navy doubt MIL would know what a ho was. Figure of speech, Amber of Forever Amber was a Ho!

Thinking I deserve a spa day after this.

Oh, c'mon, Navy, on what planet is it ever okay to show up at someone's house to stay for several days as a 'surprise' without even asking? That's always going to be rude and stupid.

My grandma pulls this kind of shit on my mum a lot and my dad can't see past her being "nice", she's a controlling old bag at best. I feel sorry for you OP, I think you've had a hard time on here.

Just wait until the grandchildren arrive, my MIL has stepped up her interfering since we announced I was expecting.

It doesn't really matter the motives as to why she did it, the fact remains she shouldn't have done it. You don't just turn up at someone's house for a few days, let yourself in and expect red carpet treatment. I wouldn't let my mum do this let alone my MIL, and I adore my MIL.

This is a win win situation as far as I am concerned as she can stay there everytime she comes in future if she wants to.

sh wants to spend fathrs day with her son whosenot even a father?

did she get him a present aswell

Who is going to be paying for the B&B (sorry if I've missed it) ?

I honestly wouldn't have her over, take her out, visit her etc during this visit. It's just rewarding her atrocious behaviour and makes her think that all she has to do is push hard enough and she'll eventually get what she wants (ie. your/DH's attention).

The best way to "train" her out of this dropping in nonsense is to only interact with her when she can behave rationally. This means calling in advance and asking if it's okay to visit, and if the answer is 'no' then to accept graciously.

The only thing lunch tomorrow is going to show her is that she can get to see DH regardless of how badly she behaves.

As for NDN - she'd be getting told very plainly that what she did is totally unacceptable and that as she's clearly untrustworthy she'll no longer have access to your home or a key. MIL could've been a stalker or thief for heaven's sake, and NDN just literally handed her the keys to the door!

Fgs don't pay for the b&b. She'll expect it all the time and it will undo everything you achieved

There is always two sides to a story and that's what the majority of those salivating at threads such like these seem to forget.

Navy, you don't even believe the thread is real, but you keep posting, so I don't think it's other posters 'salivating' here.

Is this on a newspapers website yet? 'Mumsnetters all hate their MILs, say MILs are the worst thing ever!'

Hope your day is going well OP. Can't wait to hear what happens when your DH gets back home and the types of stories his mother will come up with. Also make sure that he doesn't pay for her stay in the B&B as she has decided to stay longer than was originally planned.,

I also think that thatdearoctopus has it right in why she is singing the welcoming praises of the B&B.

Navy, how about starting another thread, or provide a link to one you have already started about your disappointing relationship with your DIL?

I think you would find more kindred spirits there, and I for one would certainly love to hear your story because you deserve to be heard, and you are finding such barren ground here.

As far as Navy is concerned no MIL is ever in the wrong.

In be interested to see what her in laws think of her.

You can give anyone the benefit of doubt - if you like being walked all over and having your plans disrupted - your choice

OP chose otherwise

The thing is some MIL's are arseholes, same as any walk of life you will find arseholes.

I'm sure I recognize Navy from previous MIL threads. There are some posters that always think the MIL's are angels and can do no wrong... If only this was true... It's not.