Wibu about DD's skirt?

[KubaLeebre]

DD is 4 and in a small private nursery. Today at drop off, she was showing her key worker her new cotton dress. The key worker said "DD, the first thing we are going to do is put some shorts on you, you like to roll around don't you, and you don't want the boys seeing your knickers!".

I said, "I'm sorry, but I feel that she doesn't need shorts. She's 4, and wearing knickers, so her bits are covered as far as I'm concerned".

Key worker just said "oh, right".

WIBU? I'm annoyed that the worker has been doing this. I don't want my 4 year old DD thinking that she has to "cover up" so that the boys don't see her knickers.

New clothes and dresses are not practical? Why on earth not?

You are quite right to not be happy about this OP. It's how society imposes sexist shit on girls from a very young age. Stand up for your dd's right to be a 4 year old child. Who says boys want / don't want to see her knickers? What is wrong with knickers? Should boys wear shorts over their swimming trunks?? Your poor dd to be shamed about nothing.

Seeing knicks is only an issue in Year 6. My dd would have probably said something rude to the key worker about not wearing shorts!

Totally off topic, but why the need to specify the dress is cotton?

No way. My kids are Y3 and seeing knicjs is a no no which started last year. Dd wore uniform shorts all last year, bit this year has decided she likes skirts so she wears knicker shirts which are plain black so no giggling at flowery pants.

Knicker shorts not shirts. Now that would be interesting!!

I remember us putting our PE shorts on under our dresses in the 70s, so we could do handstands and whatnot without exposing our genitalia.

Boys don't need more substantial underwear because they wear shorts or trousers as a matter of course.

Totally, totally agree OP

How does doing a handstand expose your genitalia??

You do realise don't you that there is a difference (many differences!) between knickers and genitalia??

Because everyday knickers fairly often slip down or to the side if you start launching yourself about and upside down. Maybe they fit better these days and the elastic is more resistant, but in the 70s little girls pants weren't made for doing anything more gymnastic than skipping, unless kept in place by shorts or trews.

Put it another way - by wearing shorts we had the freedom to leap about, just as the boys could, without exposing more than we wanted to.

In the 70s I only wore knickers and did cartwheels and handstands a lot

If you're easily upset look away now.

Yes, that's right, I'm wearing... underwear

Didn't realise how bleached out that pick was

So do all these pro shorts for girls posters think that people have suddenly realised in the last 5? years or so that girls must wear shorts as their underwear just isn't up to the job of covering their genitalia / bums? That all those of us who grew up in the 20th Century were exposing their genitals willy nilly, that everyone noticed but no one could think of a solution to the problem ... until now? Or perhaps that this is more reflective of the ever increasing and creeping sexualisation of childhood - and shown;t just be accepted...

dd's primary school had a shorts for handstands policy for 'decency' . The reason given by staff was that the school playing field was next to a public footpath.

Mother of three boys here. Completely and utterly agree with OP and posters who point out the difference between knickers and genitalia. Don't shame little girls.

My girls are both in school now, aged 8 and 5, and they obviously wear dresses or skirts and don't put leggings on underneath. And it doesn't stop my 8 year old from doing cartwheels; she's not in the least self-conscious about other children seeing her knickers even now.
I would have been absolutely horrified by that key worker's comments, particularly her talking about a 4 year old girl flashing her knickers for the little boys to see. Totally inappropriate!

This is so sad. I remember when my DS was at nursery they let all the kids, boys and girls, go in the paddling pool without any clothes on at all, and they had a whale of a time. Why should they be embarrassed of their bodies at this age?

Reminds me of when my little sister (aged about 5) went swimming with the school and would run around the changing room carefully hiding her knickers in her hands because she's been told showing them was rude - while totally starkers

I haven't read all the messages, but I have several girls and they usually wear shorts under their school dresses to avoid the occasional mishap with the wind, doing cartwheels or sitting cross-legged with their panties on display. Showing underwear can be embarrassing as they grow up so I don't think it hurts for them to put shorts on underneath to keep their modesty as some panties are just not quite adequate. There is no shame, but it seems sensible and practical to put shorts underneath.
For the record, it's not a gender thing as I threw out a whole pile of the boys underwear when they were younger and swapped them for close fitting trunks after getting an eye-full from badly fitting underpants one time too many!