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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FIL has a cheek!

133 replies

BlueMoon17 · 14/06/2017 12:39

The other night DP received this message from his DF:

'So, Fathers' Day Sunday. I've just treated myself to a new watch. £13 between you three.' ( DP has 2 siblings)

Now I know it's not a lot of money but I'm fuming, I'm hoping it's a joke. I just find it so rude! We don't get DF anything for Father's Day usually except this time I've got DP a mug and cider as it's his first one this year.

I know I'm probably BU to be so annoyed I just find it so fucking cheeky!

OP posts:
BachingMad · 14/06/2017 15:23

I think you need to get a life. Do you have a job?

Original poster
BlueMoon17 · 14/06/2017 15:25

Do you have a job? Why is this relevant?

OP posts:
TooGood2BeFalse · 14/06/2017 15:28

Some families just have that kind of casual way of speaking to be honest, as a disorganised mum of 2 young kids, I'd personally be grateful he took the job out of my hands Blush And 13 pounds isn't exactly extravagant..no offence meant by that- unless he knows you are on the breadline in which case yes, bit rude.

Minniemagoo · 14/06/2017 15:33

Be the bigger people, text him back, "We'll give you 15 and you can buy a pint to go with the watch"
Revel in doing a nice thing on fathers day even if you think its crap!

NavyandWhite · 14/06/2017 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SPenfj · 14/06/2017 15:35

I think it's nice!!

That he treated himself to a 39 quid watch!

MissionItsPossible · 14/06/2017 15:43

I thought the watch was £13? (Well, I assumed he had paid the bulk of it himself). OP says he needs £13 between the 3 of them.

TieGrr · 14/06/2017 15:46

It might be out of the blue for DP, but perhaps he was joking about it with one of the siblings and sent a group text to the three of them as a carry on from that. Either way, I'd consider it a joke and would text back something cheeky in response.

idontaskformuch · 14/06/2017 15:46

I think he has a cheek in asking but only if he already received a gift from his kids.

Maybe he is hurt and upset and this is his way of communicating that he feels his kids are selfish and uncaring?!

XiCi · 14/06/2017 15:53

I think he's sent the text as a joke as he expects to get fuck all from you as usual.

You sound very mean spirited.

TheGoodEnoughWife · 14/06/2017 15:58

Only on MN would people be told birthdays are only for children and at the same time fathers can buy their own Father's Day present and bill their adult children.

Ignore the nasty OP.

Persemillion · 14/06/2017 16:04

It seems OP is not falling into the guilt trip trap.

TisGlorious · 14/06/2017 16:05

"it's more the sentiment that it's his children that paid for it."

Sorry, but that's hilarious.

How very sad for you that you don't get this.

WonderLime · 14/06/2017 16:06

I can't understand how anyone is reading that as anything other than a joke.

Honestly OP, you sound just awful. Back out of your DP's relationship with his DF as it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

diddl · 14/06/2017 16:09

"How very sad for you that you don't get this."

No, not sad for me at all.

Haffiana · 14/06/2017 16:11

It would be perfectly acceptable in my family, where warmth and love and laughter would allow that to be a very amusing incident. It actually made me smile when I read that message.

Shame he has you as a daughter-in-law really. You seem the type to know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

shinyredbus · 14/06/2017 16:17

yikes OP - i think you're going together a hard time on here. I think you need to lighten up a little - he's not your father in law yet and surely if anyone should be 'fuming' (super OTT usage of the word btw) it should be your partner - not you.

Maybe its just the way his father talks to his sons - maybe his sons get it, and you don't so you've taken it the wrong way. Is it cheeky? it depends who its done to i suppose - me dad would do something like this and we wouldn't bat an eyelid - probably because it saves us the hassle of racking our brains on getting him what he might like and getting it all wrong anyway .

CHILL OUT OP - have a glass of champagne in the sun or something. You'll feel better for it Smile

Lelly0503 · 14/06/2017 16:18

I can't believe how math posters on thi thread have carried out a complete character analysis on the OP based on a few posts!! How can you make these assumptions? I do think it's rude of the FIL to expect a present, and actually go out and buy one then expect to be reimbursed! Sometimes I like to pick my own gifts for people not be told what they want me to buy.

diddl · 14/06/2017 16:25

It could just be a joke but the implication seems to be that father & son don't have a lose, jokey relationship.

If my dad did it I'd laugh & ignore.

Madbum · 14/06/2017 16:44

I think it was a lighthearted text and you just don't like him which has coloured your reaction to it.

Sweetheartyparty76 · 14/06/2017 16:54

Did your DH miss out on Christmas and birthday presents growing up? If not, then why begrudge spending £13 on a gift he has asked for. I think he is hinting that he would like a father's day present, like most dads get.

Sweetheartyparty76 · 14/06/2017 16:56

Completely agree Haffiana x

Katmeifyoucan · 14/06/2017 17:01

It is £13. Who cares. Let it go. YABU.

Birdsgottaf1y · 14/06/2017 17:19

That's what we do in our family.

I saw a jacket that I liked, so picked it up and messaged my adult DDs how much it was each, for Mother's Day.

We buy each other presents and it's easier than having to find something.

What you do with your DF is irrelevant, if your DP is happy to buy a gift then it isn't cheeky at all.

NavyandWhite · 14/06/2017 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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