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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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RibenaMonsoon · 13/06/2017 21:01

My god what a nasty piece of work. If it were me if have let my DH go round and let them have it.

noenemee · 13/06/2017 21:01

Nanny is either a responsible adult capable of caring for young children in a professional capacity or she is a vulnerable young girl. She can't be both

Totally agree.

Unfortunately Mrs NDN will find it easy to swallow that the Nanny feels intimidated, because you lost your rag with her yesterday. For someone with Police training though you'd imagine she's think about the wider picture, especially when you went to apologize to her.

I just don't get the logic about how parking over your drive when it's empty, seems reasonable to her, when they don't think it's reasonable to park over their own drive where it's a given that they won't be returning unexpectedly.

Doublechocolatetiffin · 13/06/2017 21:02

This is totally crazy, no matter what else the nanny should a) not have parked there in the first place and b) stopped immediately when asked not to. How can your NDN accuse you of being unreasonable when you are the wronged person. All you were asking was for you to be able to access your driveway. They are all batshit imo.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 13/06/2017 21:03

OP, beware of the media. The Daily Fail have just pinched another thread & they'd probably love this one if they noticed it.

wheatchief · 13/06/2017 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArchieStar · 13/06/2017 21:04

Christ OP! Last thing you need while you're pregnant! If DH still wants to go round let him go, she shouldn't have spoken to you like that!!

MrsHathaway · 13/06/2017 21:07

I think op is entirely in the right here, but I don't think contacting the police NOW, as has been advocated by some, is going to achieve anything. As I said, when it happens again, go to the police.

Ah, then we agree. Brew ?

GardeningWithDynamite · 13/06/2017 21:07

Presumably even if OP had been out at work today (RN's excuse for parking across driveway) then RN would have known that OP would be home before she left and therefore it would still be a problem? Her excuse isn't valid at all.

AhNowTed · 13/06/2017 21:10

1st post on this thread.

I've had a feeling from the beginning that the nanny would rather inconvenience you because she's not allowed to park on their drive, and doesn't dare to park across theirs, even for a few hours, because her employer is an aggressive, confrontational bitch.

LizB62A · 13/06/2017 21:11

She set her DH on you yesterday so I think you should let your DH go round and stand up for you.
The NDN is being ridiculous.
Next time the nanny parks in front of your drive, just call the police and see if either of your NDNs are the ones sent out :-)
I would escalate this - don't let them bully you into letting THEIR nanny park blocking YOUR drive - it's ridiculous !

RiverTam · 13/06/2017 21:16

The Nanny is playing you and Mrs NDN off against each other, totally. Stand firm, OP.

tasmaniandevilchaser · 13/06/2017 21:16

thanks shadow666, that's awful!

OP take care of yourself and the bump!

maddening · 13/06/2017 21:16

Your do should go to the ndn and complain about the fndn's behaviour

Scandelicious · 13/06/2017 21:19

Weren't they actually at work when she parked over your driveway? Why would she assume you were at work when she knew that they were? Alternatively, just say you parked over their driveway since you too had assumed they were st work

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 21:20

OP, beware of the media. The Daily Fail have just pinched another thread & they'd probably love this one if they noticed it.

I hadn't even thought about this. I should probably ask to have both threads deleted as they are very identifying Sad

OP posts:
Groovester · 13/06/2017 21:20

Despite anything else op, go back to basics. Nanny's thoughtlessness is causing inconvenience to you. You are in the right and sticking up for yourself.
Your ndn seems slightly unhinged. If they don't want the nanny ON their driveway (which is beyond ridiculous) then she should be parking ACROSS their driveway and not yours.
BONKERS!

Sycamorewindmills · 13/06/2017 21:23

I think deletion would be a good bet at this point OP.

GhostCurry · 13/06/2017 21:24

Argh OP, how dare they invite you over and then treat you like that.

getting my Flowers in before the thread goes. Good luck with it all.

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 21:25

This is a really odd thought but I've just realised there is a drain near the exit of our drive.....I wonder if that's why she parks there so she can leak her oil down there instead of on NDN's drive or the path across their drive? After all, that's why they've told her she can't use their drive or park across it....

OP posts:
CatsAndCandles · 13/06/2017 21:25

OP, you were completely right imo to park over their drive - it was the obvious place for you to park. You're not in the wrong here.

Nanny sounds like a daft chancer with zero empathy.

Mrs NDN sounds dreadful! Horribly aggressive and unreasonable. (I'm feeling sorry for Mr NDN.)

Can I suggest your dh deals with Mr NDN from now on? I don't think you should have to deal with all this stress.

Flowers
Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 21:25

How do I get threads deleted?

OP posts:
MadamPatti · 13/06/2017 21:27

You could always tell them your considering putting a complaint in to their Professional Standards department and see how they react.............

frogsgoladidahdidah · 13/06/2017 21:28

Writer, I emailed HQ when I needed a thread deleting. They were very good about it.

2017SoFarSoGood · 13/06/2017 21:30

Writer you have been a bloody hero throughout this whole insanity. You've done nothing wrong, nothing to feel bad about. Nasty Mrs NDN and Manipulative Nanny are at fault here. Chin up. Don't give in to the madness, whatever happens next. Flowers

CatsAndCandles · 13/06/2017 21:30

Ah! Maybe Nanny really does feel vulnerable because of her aggressive employer?! That makes more sense.

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