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Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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Writerwannabe83 · 16/06/2017 11:11

I think I will just have to take her lead. It's so difficult because all I have is Mr NDNs version of events and I don't want to cast Mrs NDN as being evil if there's any chance Mr NDNs story was downplayed or embellished for any reason.

I do actually think though that she will apologise to me, she's a decent person and despite everything she probably feels uncomfortable about how she launched in to me.

We shall see.

I'm going out in half an hour and usually when I leave the house, if Mrs NDN spots me she will pop out for a little chat and we just have a mini catch-up etc, ask each other how work and home life is etc so we will just see what happens.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 16/06/2017 11:49

I think I'd be utterly horrid if she did that and reply with 'Not great really, extra midwife appt as things have been very up and down, midwife thinks probably stress'.

I find it amazing that she would have verbally attacked someone so pregnant like that.

Utterly depressing that they are police officers.

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/06/2017 16:39

If nanny has a back condition that means she can't carry a 6 month old around the corner, how does she cope when she takes the baby out for school run, trips etc.? Doesn't she take a buggy with her?

TBH I would be a rather annoyed if someone I employed to look after my baby wasn't able to carry them and hadn't mentioned it so we could make sure she could do the job properly.

Not that that's really anything to do with your problem Writer.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 16/06/2017 18:39

I find it difficult a back condition exists that makes one unable to walk around a corner but allows one to go on a long walk with a pushchair.

Babbitywabbit · 16/06/2017 19:01

Writer I'm sensing a little wavering here on your part. Don't back down - you've come this far!

Mrs NDN is a loon, Mr NDN is a wet wimp and nanny is a scheming cow. And that's the best versions of them.... I'm still holding out that Mr is banging Nanny and Mrs will come home to find the pet rabbit on the hob

Please don't let them sweet talk you. Keep the thread going Grin

kwick · 17/06/2017 05:45

@Writerwannabe83 so what happened? I am in suspenders here!!!

Writerwannabe83 · 17/06/2017 09:21

Well I didn't see Mrs NDN yesterday but when I was putting some rubbish out this morning the neighbour's car pulled up on their drive and in it was Mrs NDN.

There were a few seconds where I was willing her to just stay in it until I was safely back in my house but she got out as normal and walked towards me.

She looked at me but didn't smile and I so didn't smile at her either. She quietly asked me if I was ok, I said yes and then there was just an awkward silence.

She told me that the Nanny had agreed to stay working for them on the premise there wouldn't be any more "dramas" about her parking Shock Mrs NDN didn't specify who had been the cause of these dramas but it sounded like she was accusing me of it). She also said that the Nanny wasn't best pleased about having to face me again and work in close proximity to me
but that she had said she would try and put the incident behind her if I was prepared to do the same Hmm

I started to get a bit pissed off then because it was obvious I wasn't going to get an apology of any kind and instead I was still being treated as the Bad Guy in all this.

I said to her, "In order to avoid the dramas I assume she'll be on your driveway from now on then as opposed to across mine?" Her response was to say that yes, that had been discussed but again she had no control really over her Nanny's actions (the broken record was being played again).

I told her when Mr NDN had spoken to me he'd given me the impression that it had been fully agreed that their drive would be used and that the Nanny had actually wanted to come and apologise to me for her actions. Mrs NDN looked a bit confused and asked me when Mr NDN had said this to me and I told her that he had popped round on Thursday morning and we'd had a conversation about it all.

Mrs NDN stared at me for a few seconds and then just turned around and walked into her house without even saying bye. It was bizarre. Obviously Mr NDN hadn't told her of our conversation and she clearly wasn't pleased about it.

I have a feeling he felt her wrath when she got inside!!

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 17/06/2017 09:24

Ooer!

NameChange30 · 17/06/2017 09:26

God she's such a bitch.
She owes you an apology for shouting at you and if I were you I'd be tempted to point that out.
I honestly think it's Mrs NDN and not the nanny who's most at fault here.
Nanny has been annoying but at least she hasn't been rude. And I think her parking behaviour is because she's scared of Mrs NDN. Understandably!

Apocalyptichorsewoman · 17/06/2017 09:32

Jeepers! Shock how Bizarre!

LillyLollyLandy · 17/06/2017 09:34

Mrs NDN is starting to sound like she might be unwell.

RandomMess · 17/06/2017 09:35

Oh dear, I really hope it doesn't all erupt again...

It could just be that MrsNDN isn't good at accepting responsibility and apologising.

Cuppaoftea · 17/06/2017 09:37

I can't believe you purposefully shit stirred in her marriage.

FrancisCrawford · 17/06/2017 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 17/06/2017 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BengalGal · 17/06/2017 09:43

Letting her know you'd had a conversation with her husband is hardly shit stirring. You didn't give the details of what he said that was so critical of her, only that the nanny would be parking in their drive. Maybe if you said after she gets the oil leak repaired...

But given that she was trying to blame you and be a jerk instead of apologizing I think your were most restrained. Maybe she has PND, otherwise she is clearly a person to be avoided always.

Writerwannabe83 · 17/06/2017 09:45

can't believe you purposefully shit stirred in her marriage.

Well I think that's a bit dramatic.

Considering all the things her DH had said about her if I wanted to shit stir in their marriage I could have said a hell of a lot worse than what I did - which was just tell her what assurance her DH had given me.

OP posts:
TenForward82 · 17/06/2017 09:47

Why does OP owe the husband anything? Plus it's not like he said to OP "please don't tell my wife we've spoken".

Groovester · 17/06/2017 09:52

I stand by my claim that Mrs NDN is unhinged. Appalling behaviour. She's definitely trying to bully you op!

FrancisCrawford · 17/06/2017 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cuppaoftea · 17/06/2017 09:55

Francis Op knew Mrs NDN had no knowledge of her conversation with Mr NDN, Op told Mrs NDN out of spite when she didn't apologise. That she'd had a whole conversation with her husband behind her back, stay out of their marriage ffs.

What stands out for me is that Mrs NDN stays loyal to her husband and employee when discussing the situation with her neighbour. Mr NDN came round and painted a very one sided story with his Wife as a control freak completely throwing her under the bus. I wouldn't trust anyone who was so keen to publicly discuss their spouse like that.

I think people have cheerleaded the Op in to prematurely ending a friendship with a woman she had always previously got on well with.

All the Op needed to say in this encounter was 'as long as the Nanny doesn't continue to block our drive that's fine. How are the kids?' And move on.

hippyhippyshake · 17/06/2017 09:57

The love bus is wonderful! So glad I happened upon this thread - I was mortified when I discovered that the first one had been deleted.

TenForward82 · 17/06/2017 09:59

Uh, what? Mrs NDN threw her nanny insert the bus in the first conversation.

TenForward82 · 17/06/2017 09:59

Uh, what? Mrs NDN threw her nanny insert the bus in the first conversation.

hippyhippyshake · 17/06/2017 10:00

Cuppa - are you Mrs NDN?

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