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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
MsWanaBanana · 15/06/2017 16:12

Ah OP p,ease adopt me?!?

rightwhine · 15/06/2017 16:25

How Mrs NDN responds to you next time will be crucial. I'd like to believe that PND has to do with it, but if she continues to be arsey then she'll have blown her chance.
I don't think Nanny will be around for much longer but she isn't the innocent in all this that some people believe. She may have been put in an awkward position but she still didn't handle it well as far as you are concerned.

Cuppaoftea · 15/06/2017 16:36

I'd say this second thread is still pretty identifying, you gave a detailed account of your encounter with Mrs NDN in the first post.

Fine if you're not bothered about that . . but finding it a bit odd you're expecting things to then to go back to normal and Mrs NDN to want to socialise with you at all!

You were right to be annoyed about the parking and glad you got that sorted but I think both you and the Nanny took things too far. Neither of you should have got involved in discussing her with her DH behind her back.

Now the poor woman's left with her DH slagging her off to everyone and jokes about him shagging the Nanny posted on a public forum.

While Mrs NDN shouldn't have spoken to you the way she did she was probably exhausted and just wanting to come home from work and spend time with her young baby.

TyneTeas · 15/06/2017 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 15/06/2017 17:18

Tyne but those details are from the first thread, which OP has asked to be deleted.

ThePants999 · 15/06/2017 17:41

Mr NDN sounds great, if a little bit of a doormat.

NeedATrim · 15/06/2017 17:41

The last few pages of this thread has become farcical TBH.

Ceto · 15/06/2017 18:03

If they didn't know until yesterday about nanny's back conditions, why are they so sure it's genuine? I wonder how they feel about the fact that she didn't disclose it previously.

Babbitywabbit · 15/06/2017 18:09

All aboard the Love Bus - fab!
🚌 Grin

kwick · 15/06/2017 18:27

MNHQ Deleted the original thread 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

TruckersWife · 15/06/2017 18:32

Onalongsabatical
I've no idea what you may be referring to Grin
The Love lorry just doesn't have the same ring to it!!
Loving the pictures!

SnotGoblin · 15/06/2017 18:42

Applauding wildly. What a journey. Thank you OP.

Hotpinkangel19 · 15/06/2017 19:12

Love it! Thanks op!

Mum2jenny · 15/06/2017 19:32

Probably best that MNHQ deleted the first post from an identification point of view. Shame that the nice diagrams have gone though!

Mum2jenny · 15/06/2017 19:32

Sorry, first thread.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 15/06/2017 20:25

"Bobbies on the beat"

GrinStarGrin

Waltermittythesequel · 15/06/2017 21:27

This has been wonderful!

craftsy · 15/06/2017 21:49

Maybe Mr NDN isn't the Saint he's portraying himself to be and is actually quite a controlling and manipulative person himself? Who knows?

It could just be my own experience colouring my opinion but you could have hit the nail on the head there. My ex-husband was just like that. He'd put me under pressure to do things exactly as he wanted while gaslighting me in the extreme to make me think that it was all my idea and he was just going along with my demands. If anyone we knew then questioned why we were dong something they thought was odd, he'd just throw me under a bus and make out that I was obsessed and insisting he go along with me.

Mrs NDN could be entirely to blame for this whole blow up but something about the way Mr NDN is behaving feels very off to me.

JumpingJellybeanz · 15/06/2017 22:28

I think you'll go out on Monday and return to find the nanny parked in the exact same spot.

Grin
Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 22:32

Good Lord, can you imagine Grin
I think I would explode!!!

OP posts:
kwick · 16/06/2017 07:51

I just want to take a moment to tbank you writer - even though I did not get the chance to finish reading the first thread before it was deleted, I did see your marvellous pictures and I just love a good Parking thread.
Thank you! Grin

Writerwannabe83 · 16/06/2017 09:14
Smile

All thanks to go to my NDNs and their Nanny Flowers

NDN's car is here today so I'm guessing they are both off work which means I'm at risk of bumping into Mrs NDN which I'm a little anxious about but it's got to happen sometime and usually it's worse the longer something goes on for.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 16/06/2017 09:25

You shouldn't be anxious.

She should be mortified.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/06/2017 10:17

Are you going to ignore her or pretend it didn't happen? I'd be feeling anxious. However, you did nothing wrong.

frogsgoladidahdidah · 16/06/2017 11:08

I would make sure I saw her and say a big 'hello' as if nothing had happened and you are having the best day ever.