Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

[Writerwannabe83]

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset

Course OP isn't shit stirring! Don't be so ridiculous! You're doing the right thing OP by calmly explaining the facts. Not your fault the spineless twat isn't brave enough to stand up to his vile wife!

Mr NDN should run off with the Nanny. It'd be better all round.

As long as they fix the leak first socks, otherwise they could be followed.

Yeah I must be Mrs NDN to point out that you don't get so involved in your neighbour's marriage

At the beginning of the first thread the Op and her DH had a genuine right to complain about how the Nanny's parking was inconveniencing them and indirectly causing damage to their property by forcing them to drive over their path. Both neighbours have acknowledged this and attempted to resolve the situation. Exactly what has been said depends on who you believe but all that matters is the Op's driveway is clear from now on.

However Op appears to be revelling in the drama. Taking the time to draw pictures depicting your neighbours husband's invented affair with the Nanny and posting them online is bizarre.

The friendship is likely now over anyway so I'd say the best thing Op can do now is take a step back and move on.

As long as they fix the leak first socks, otherwise they could be followed.

I think a previous poster hit the nail on the head when they said there's a lot of blame pushing.

First Mrs NDN was blaming the Nanny.
Then Mrs NDN did a U-turn and made the Nanny the victim and blamed it all on me.
Then Mr NDN blamed it all on his wife.
And now Mrs NDN is still blaming me.

It's relentless.

Maybe we are all unhinged?

The OP was not interfering in a marriage merely pointing out that Mr NDN had made an assurance to her. The same way OP's DH told Op thst Mr NDN had approached his car any reasonable, normal person would assume that when MRS NDN got home Mr NDN would have said I've had a chat with Mrs OP so things should be fine going forward as long as rampant Nanny sticks to what we've told her to do!

To me, it sounds like Mrs NDN was trying to save face and continue to paint OP as the bad guy, picking on her poor Nanny. But Mrs NDN has come to her rescue and will now allow nanny to park on their drive in her crummy car, but please don't approach said nanny because she's afraid of OP.

That would have pissed me off, too. And I would have made it quietly clear that that was not how I understood the situation to be after my conversation with Mr NDN. I would have also said that I understood the Nanny was going to be parking on their drive and that the Nanny wanted to apologize for her previous behaviour (continuing to park in front of OP's house).

That's not OP slagging off Mrs NDN; that;s gently correcting the understood facts from your point of view in the conversation.

Mr NDN may have oversold; he may not have. But Mrs NDN has not behaved well through the way she's talked/shouted at OP . And she's flip flopped over the nanny's parking behaviour: first she couldn't control it, but then she expected nanny to control OP's parking... ridiculous. Mrs NDN is ridiculous.

OP was right to get this message across quietly the way she did

Op knew Mrs NDN had no knowledge of her conversation with Mr NDN, Op told Mrs NDN out of spite when she didn't apologise. That she'd had a whole conversation with her husband behind her back, stay out of their marriage ffs

What a load of garbage. Quite fanciful really.

If Mrs NDN chose to admit that Mr NDN hadn't told her about the conversation with OP then that's her look out and certainly not the fault of OP.

Did you seriously expect OP to just stand there and meekly accept the blame for a situation she didn't create? How ridiculous! OP was quite rightly standing up for herself, and not to do so would paint her as utterly spineless.

The blame for the entire situation has to be laid squarely where it lies - with Mr and Mrs NDN and the Nanny.

Both Mr and Mrs NDN and the Nanny all sound completely vile and completely deserving of each other.

The long and short of this is that whatever was going on behind the scenes, Nanny shouldn't have parked where she did.

If I were nanny and was struggling, I'd have asked my employer about parking on the drive (with a mat if nec), or the neighbour about using hers if it is free. If I couldn't have managed I would have looked for a new job. Parking across someone else's, especially after being asked not to, was never an option.

Next in line for responsibility are Mr and Mrs NDN, for not resolving OPs situation. How their marriage works, and whether she is not coping with life/work etc is neither here nor there.

Op should never have needed to address this.

Cross post Emmy!

Cuppa - seriously!!! mrs NDN has done everything to make the drama, it's all because of her!!!
There needs to be some transparency, not hiding behind closed conversations - Mrs NDN needs to grow the fuck up, take responsibility for her home and her staff and don't pile her shit on someone else's life
Mrs NDN is a spoilt little brat

The long and short of this is that whatever was going on behind the scenes, Nanny shouldn't have parked where she did

Yes, it basically all boils down to this. Her reasons for not being able to park on the NDN's driveway are irrelevant really. She took HER problem and made it into a problem for a third party (OP). That is completely unacceptable.

If Mrs NDN becomes this unhinged over a simple parking matter, I dread to think how irrational she becomes when faced with an actual problem at work. It almost (but not quite!) makes me feel sorry for the criminals she encounters.

I think I'm going to to have to withold judgement as to who is to 'blame' out of Mrs NDN or the Nanny because between the three of them I feel like I'm getting three different versions of what's been happening.

I'm just going to leave them to sort it out between themselves - my driveway was the only concern so now that's hopefully sorted the rest of the mess can be left to them to sort out.

I genuinely can't believe how much stress and arguing a parking spot can create

OP you lost me when you started this weird parallel universe speculation on the relationship between NDN and his nanny.
You ave made your point , let this be the end of it now???

To be fair it was someone else who started that.

I don't see the harm in a bit of a joke to relieve the stress and tension.

The only "drama" here was started by the nanny behaving badly.
Mrs NDN was out-of-line implying that you were the cause of her "nearly" resigning.

What stands out for me is that Mrs NDN stays loyal to her husband and employee when discussing the situation with her neighbour.
Have ypu read both threads cup ?
Mrs ndn completely blamed the nanny first! How is that being loyal?
Thought it was all sorted op!
I feel so sorry for you living next door to her...

The Nanny is here and she's parked on their drive!!!

Woo hoo!

Yehhhhhhh!

I still believe Good Cop, I think Bad Cop is an arrogant mare who will not under any circumstances accept any blame for anything. The reality being, I suspect, that it was SHE that caused it all by telling the Nuisance Nanny where she could park - ie anywhere but near her house.

Yippee! All's well that ends well!

Yayyyy!!!